Saturday, 1 May 2010

Drugs: Meow Culpa

This has been a week of apologies. Our beleaguered leader, Gordon Brown, had to apologise for calling a woman who said something that sounded quite bigoted "a bigoted woman".
The bizarrely named Dappy from N-Dubz also had to apologise after he was caught in the act of doing something legal. Or, to put it in tabloidese; "N-Dubz star Dappy has made a grovelling TV apology over his meow-meow nightclub shame" [Daily Star].
The rapper was filmed on CCTV snorting the drug mephedrone in the back room of an Essex club before it was banned following a tsunami of manufactured and ill=informed tabloid outrage.
Taking drugs - even legal ones - is wrong. It's a sin, and sinners must repent. Just say... sorry. Forgive me people, for I have sniffed.
So Dapper's publicists swiftly issued a statement: "I was taking meow meow. I was on a night out with mates and it got a bit rowdy. Meow meow was legal then and lots of my mates were taking it too. I know this drug has now been made illegal and would not endorse any of our fans taking it."
"I said recently that I hadn't touched serious drugs for years and maybe that wasn't completely true. But I now want people to realise how dangerous mephedrone and similar drugs can be. It can ruin lives. I'd want any of our fans to stay well clear. I've learned my lesson and I hope others will too."
If a celebrity caught up in a "My drugs shame" scandal isn't going to go into rehab, the least they can do is offer a grovelling apology. Two days after the story appeared N-Dubz were thrown onto GMTV and Dappy was forced to beg forgiveness for his sniff. “I felt unwell taking it and I never will again," he said. "I’m glad it’s banned because I’ve seen how people are dying off it. It was a night out and I was just a bit tipsy and fell into the wrong place at the wrong time. I don’t think I’ll touch any serious stuff ever again.”
Everyone played their part and acted up for the cameras. The pop stars pretended to be sorry. The presenters pretended to be concerned.
Despite the fact that no British coroner has yet blamed one single death on mephedrone - and that statistically someone is more likely to die in a car crash, than from taking any recreational drug. But what can we expect from tabloid journalists - the only people in the country so out of touch that they think that users of mephedrone actually call it "meow-meow". Funny thing is, it was probably cocaine anyway.
Two days later the papers reported that "Dopey Dappy" was asked to leave Alton Towers when hotel guests complained they could smell cannabis coming from his room.
Can't we bring back hanging?

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