Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Slow News Day: Official!

Do you want to know how desperate they are for stories to fill their papers today?
The kerbrilliant 3am "Girls" summed it up with possibly Fagburn's headline of the year, which accompanied a photo of Victoria Beckham; 'Woman Wears Coat'
They even tagged it 'Slow news day'.
Or how about this for the sound of the showbiz barrel being rudely scraped?
'Why have I got pink headphones on, mummy? Dannii Minogue protects son's ears at X Factor rehearsals'
"She may have his best interests at heart.
"But in years to come, Dannii Minogue's baby boy Ethan may well be cursing his mother for giving him girly pink noise-reducing headphones to wear."
Fagburn guesses his response would be the same as anyone reading this non-story; "Who gives a flying fuck?"
"The X Factor judge took the five-month-old tot along with her to rehearsals ahead of the live show this weekend.
"But while the headphones may have spared his hearing, they certainly won't save his blushes when the family photo album comes out when he reaches his adolescent years.
"Video footage of Dannii holding Ethan and waving his hand to the cameras was played on the X Factor spin-off show the Xtra Factor on ITV2 last night - perfect material to embarrass him in front of his future girlfriend one day."
I'm loving that presumption Ethan Minogue will grow up straight.
Dannii's probably planning to send him to that special school where they turn celebrities' children gay to order.
The journalist did start off hedging her bets; "Ethan may well be cursing his mother for giving him girly-pink noise-reducing headphones..."
The writer of this gripping news story is Georgina Littlejohn, a good advert for how kids may not turn out as their parents intended.
Georgina - as Fagburn never tires of reminding people - is the gays-loving daughter of the Mail's gays-hating star columnist, Richard Littlejohn.
What are the chances of that happening, eh?

No comments:

Post a Comment