Friday, 30 April 2010

Why I [heart] Brian Eno

Now I don't care about you, but I love Brian Eno, and am pretty fucking excited that he's organising next month's Brighton Festival.
They've given Brian some slightly wanky title; so he's not the artistic director, he's the curator.
Actually, it could be a self-description he once said in an interview that he thought the role of the artist was like that of a museum curator, bringing things up from the metaphorical cultural basement that he thinks are interesting and wants to share with people.
A bit like Cornelius in Planet of the Apes, though Brian didn't mention him.
There was an odd interview with Brian in the paper yesterday. It included a great piece of Eno ire at being asked in an interview about the Brighton Festival about being in Roxy Music; '"Jesus Christ," snaps Eno. "The second question is about Roxy Music. I knew it. Where's that knife? I'm sick of journalists asking me if I'm going to reform Roxy Music. Didn't I warn you I'd shoot you if you asked about Roxy Music."'
And comes up with a predictably perspicacious cultural dichotomy of control versus surrender. Eno thinks we need to start celebrating surrender; '"Control and surrender have to be kept in balance. That's what surfers do – take control of the situation, then be carried, then take control. In the last few thousand years, we've become incredibly adept technically. We've treasured the controlling part of ourselves and neglected the surrendering part." Eno considers all his recent art to be a rebuttal to this attitude. "I want to rethink surrender as an active verb," he says. "It's not just you being escapist; it's an active choice."'
I think that's brilliant. It's celebrating the passive role over the active - whereas the norm, in sex and in life, is for the latter to be lauded. It's wanting art that's democratic, participatory, anarchistic...
I'm looking foward to going to see Brian's 'This is an illustrated talk!' at Brighton Dome on My 22nd. Brian Eno is one of my few heroes, and one of the even fewer of my heroes that I haven't been in the same room as yet. I love his music, but it seems more appropriate and more thrilling to go and hear Brian thinking aloud.
He's a pretty handsome fellow for a 61 year-old too.
If we get to ask Brian Eno questions I'd like to ask him if the fact that his father was a postman made him interested in human communication, why this technophile doesn't have a website, and why his exhibition 77 Million Paintings is never open when I visit.

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Bigoted woman in "bigoted woman" shock

More shocking news!! Labour's election campaign now looks in tatters after Gordon Brown called a woman who kept going on about immigration and sounded a bit bigoted a "bigoted woman".
When the 65 year-old pensioner asked him; "All these Eastern Europeans what are coming in, where are they flocking from?", Brown failed to give the decent answer; "That'll be Eastern Europe."
This incident could be every bit as catastrophic for Labour as that time when John Prescott punched some munter with a mullet who'd just thrown an egg in his face, and literally several voters thought; "Actually, I'm quite glad he did that."
It's only disappointing that Brown wasn't overheard calling her something really insulting.
Like "Silly old cunt" for example.
Or had punched her repeatedly in the face with a dumbbell whilst chanting; "Die! Die! Die!"

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

Section 28: Goodbye To All That

Shocking news! A Scottish Tory candidate has been suspended from the party after he described homosexuality as not normal.
Philip Lardner, who was standing in North Ayrshire and North Arran, made the comment on his website. He wrote; "I will always support the rights of homosexuals to be treated within concepts of (common-sense) equality and respect, and defend their rights to choose to live the way they want in private, but I will not accept that their behaviour is 'normal' or encourage children to indulge in it."
Lardner called for the repeal of anti-discrimination legislation; "Christians (and most of the population) believe homosexuality to be somewhere between 'unfortunate' and simply 'wrong' and they should not be penalised for politely saying so – good manners count too, of course. The current 'law' is wrong and must be overturned in the interests of freedom as well as Christian values."
He also called for the return of Section 28; "I will not accept that their behaviour is 'normal' or encourage children to indulge in it... Toleration and understanding is one thing, but state-promotion of homosexuality is quite another."
Andrew Fulton, chair of the Scottish Conservatives, confirmed Lardner’s party membership had been suspended; “These views have no place in the modern Conservative party.”
But if Conservative candidates are to be expelled for supporting Section 28, then I guess they'll have to kick out Cameron and find a new party leader.
Conservative MPs who voted against the 2007 Equality (Sexual Orientation) Regulations Act outnumbered those who voted for it by three to one.
And lest we forget, so did 10 Labour MPs (Joe Benton, Tom Clarke, Frank Cook, Jim Dobbin, David Drew, Peter Kilfoyle, James McGovern, Alan Meale, Geraldine Smith and David Taylor), and four Liberal Democrats (Alan Beith, Colin Breed, Tim Farron and Bob Russell).
Will the last MP deselected please etc etc etc...

Poland: Can Europe Cope With Another Gay Head of State?

Jaroslaw Kaczynski - whose brother, Lech, was killed in an air crash earlier this month - has announced he will stand in the Polish presidential elections in June.
Whilst many may feel drawn to the idea of this flamboyant bachelor and former child star (see slightly creepy picture left) becoming the de facto Queen of Poland, we urge them to think again.
And not just because Jarolslaw is also a deeply closeted right-wing goon who happily uses homophobia to try and woo Poland's Catholic fundamentalist nutter vote.
In February 2009, Johanna Sigurdardottir, became President of Iceland - and the first openly head of state in Europe.
Iceland has recently suffered the largest banking collapse of any country in history. Although, the actual collapse took place the year before she came to power, all right-thinking people will see it was clearly intended as a warning by a vengeful god.
In March and April a volcano in Eyjafjallajökull in the south of Iceland erupted for the first time since 1821, bringing chaos across Europe.
Although I can't be bothered to check right now, there's almost certainly a bit about how something like this was going to happen in the Book of Revelation near the back of The Bible.
Perverts in power? Just say "Nr".
It's Polish for "No".

Monday, 26 April 2010

Election: He Doesn't Want To Break Free

Now I don't care about you, but when I'm deciding who to vote for in the forthcoming general election, I ask myself three simple questions.
1. Are they a Conservative?
2. Are they an Ulster Unionist?
3. And are they also a professional Freddie Mercury impersonator?
That's why I'm voting for Harry Hamilton on May 6th.

"Just Gay Enough": Enough!

Leading bald commentator, Toby Young, wonders "Is Nick Clegg a 'Just Gay Enough' version of David Cameron?"
"Clegg is in touch with his feminine side, he’s emotionally open in a way that Cameron isn’t. He’s more vulnerable, less threatening... he uses hair gel, umm, err..."
World wonders; "Was there really an article in this, Toby?"

Sunday, 25 April 2010

Fashion Magazines

Yesterday I found some fashion magazines in a bin
The Face, iD, and Sleazenation.

I took them home
and looked through them.

I thought;
"Isn't it funny how things that once seemed so stupid and pointless
still seem so stupid and pointless?"

Pink Pound: Big Pink Bollocks

An article in The Observer wins this week's award for 'The Biggest Load of Tosh a Journalist Could Get Away With Writing About Gay Men'.
Its headline provides a handy summary of the piece; 'Pink pound loses its glow as more gay couples become parents'.
But it's hard to see what is news-worthy in its "findings"; gay couples who become parents will spend money on their children, and so will have less money to spend on other things that they used to spend money on.
Wait, there's more. The Observer states that "gay market research company Out Now Consulting" (no, me neither) "has already found signs that becoming a parent has a big impact on gay men's attitudes to spending."
Really? Do tell.
"'The introduction of children into gay men's lives does impact on their lifestyle and expenditure habits,'" says the company's founder and CEO, Ian Johnson. "'This is likely to become part of the lifestyle impacts affecting gay men.'"
Amazing! If only we were giving out awards for stating the obvious, too.
Out Now Consulting has already done some research - stop laughing - which they claim shows "homosexual men and women earned upwards of £81bn in 2007".
Oh, come on Out Now. If you're going to pick a fantastically large figure out of the ether to try and dupe big businesses into investing in some mythical gay market filled with millions of rich gay men who don't actually exist - which is what all this big pink bollocks is actually all about - then why stop there?
The article also says that the number of children adopted by same-sex couples in the UK is between 80-90 a year.
Which according to research by my gay market research company, Made-up - Gay Statistics, means the potential amount spent on each child adopted by homosexual men and women could be upwards of £1bn.
I know, it's hard to believe, isn't it?
Which should always serve as a warning sign that a statistic has been made-up.

Create Your Own 'Fall Feature'!!!

Simply re-arrange the following words or phrases;

John Peel, favourite band, always different, sprawling oeuvre, legendary, Mancunian, post-Punk, snarling, 28th studio album, sole constant member, Camus, cult hero, "northern white crap that talks back", eccentric, at least 40 members, grandfather outside the local prison, fisticuffs, night in a cell, wheelchair, Elena, Domino Records, chaotic, Renegade, legendary Sex Pistols show in Manchester's Free Trade Hall, demented curmudgeon, Salford, bona-fide Fall classic, influence on, always the same...

Friday, 23 April 2010

Evo Morales: How The Gay Press Works - Part 1

This week Bolivia is hosting the World's People Conference on Climate Change and the Rights of Mother Earth.
Evo Morales, Bolivia's left-wing president, invited "Mother Earth's defenders" to Cochabamba to decide on the details of a proposed "Universal Declaration of Mother Earth Rights."
He said; "We are gathered here because the so-called developed countries didn't meet their obligation of establishing substantial commitments to cutting greenhouse gas emissions in Copenhagen. If those countries had respected the Kyoto Protocol and had agreed to substantially reduce the emissions inside their borders, this conference wouldn't be necessary."
In an article in The Nation, Naomi Klein argued; "The Bolivian process might save not just our warming planet, but our failing democracies as well."
This is one hell of an important event. It's not a specifically gay issue, but affects every human being on the planet; gay, straight or whatever.
Pink News - "Europe's largest online gay news service" - still managed to find a "gay angle"; 'Bolivian President says eating chickens turns men gay.'
Problem is, Morales didn't say that.
He did in passing mention that eating chickens that have been treated with female hormones can "cause deviations in men
Here's a translation; “The chicken we eat is full of feminine hormones and that is why when men eat these chickens they undergo deviations from their masculine being”.
Here's some film of that section of the speech with subtitles.
Latin American Spanish is as rich with words for "gay" as any other. If that's what Morales meant, surely he would have used one?
It's not a controversial view. Here's a report published this week showing that intersex fish are being created by a chemical "toxic stew".
Pink News could have checked the story.
Or put it in context.
They didn't.
This was credited to a "Staff Writer" - usually Pink News code for a story they've lifted from Associated Press or Reuters and run pretty much verbatim - and unchecked - as their own.
Why didn't Pink News mention that this apparent homophobe has overseen outlawing of discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation being added to Bolivia's constitution, only the second country in the world to do this.
Why pass up an opportunity to mock a leading socialist politician from the developing world?
He must be a nutter, right?
Why not just print the same lies as the straight press?
Why not check facts?
Why lie?
And why couldn't Pink News print some of the things that Evo Morales actually said?
Take a bleedin' guess; "We have two paths: either Pachamama or death. We have two paths: either capitalism dies or Mother Earth dies. Either capitalism lives or Mother Earth lives. Of course, brothers and sisters, we are here for life, for humanity and for the rights of Mother Earth. Long live the rights of Mother Earth! Death to capitalism!"

Thursday, 22 April 2010

Desperately Seeking Asylum

The Labour Campaign for Lesbian, Gay Bisexual and Transgender Rights has issued another double-sided PDF masquerading as a "Labour gay manifesto", this time on international lesbian and gay rights.
As well as the usual hopelessly vague platitudes ("Ban homophobia from our shores"), it also includes some additional stuff that no-one really cares about ("Ensure every British embassy [is] licensed to hold civil partnerships").
Now what would you say if I were to ask what is the most important subject for this manifesto to cover?
Here's a little clue; it begins with an A and rhymes with "osylum".
Now try and guess one subject that it doesn't even pay lip service to.

"Give me your hungry, your tired, your poor,
I'll piss on 'em."
Lou Reed, Dirty Blvd.

The Abolition of Slavery

Something amazing has just happened!
I've finally heard a new election manifesto pledge that made me think; "That's avery good idea."
The Liberal Democrats say interns/work experience/office monkeys should be paid.
They say it should be a minimum of £55 a week, the same amount proposed for young people in workplace training.
Not much, but better than expecting people to work for free.

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Inequality: At last some good news...

Social inequality in Britain is at its worst since 1854.
Well done New Labour!

Those other commandments in full

I don't care about you, but I think there is only one party worthy of my support in the forthcoming general election - The Christian Party.
Their thrilling - yet entirely reasonable - election manifesto, Think Christian, Think Freedom!, includes quite a few things that silly old God forgot to include in the Ten Commandments; increasing the speed limit to 90mph, privatising the National Health Service, sacking loads of public sector workers, keeping nuclear weapons, banning gay marriage, and stopping unemployment benefit for all those workshy layabouts who haven't found a job after nine months.
If you'd like to know more about this dynamic and exciting new party - and who amongst the mentally-ill community wouldn't? - you can watch their first ever party political broadcast on the tellybox tonight.
It will be presented by my favourite God-bothering party leader, the Revd. George Hargreaves, composer of the evergreen hymn 'So Macho' of by Sinitta fame.
Praise be!

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Chomsky: The Big Society

Two recent posts from the excellent Znet by Noam Chomsky; a talk on Rekindling the Radical Imagination, and a filmed interview on Anarchism and the State.
The latter shows what "the big society" might actually be like, if it's not to be just empty rhetoric.

Monday, 19 April 2010

Labour Manifesto: Unspeakable Acts

It has been reported in some quarters that the Labour Party has issued a "Gay Manifesto".
It hasn't.
An affiliated group, The Labour Campaign for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Rights has produced a four page PDF that spends almost a whole page listing the four - count 'em - pledges on gay equality that are briefly mentioned in your actual Labour manifesto; implementing the Equality Act, tackling homophobia in schools, outlawing "all forms" of homophobic hatred*, removing pupils' opt-out clause on sex education in schools, and - literally tacked on the end cause the Tories beat them to it - ensuring that anyone convicted of a homosexual offence that has subsequently been decriminalised "will have the opportunity" [emphasis added] to have their name removed from the Sex Offenders Register and the Police National Computer.
On asylum, "gay marriage", and blood donation - not to mention any mention at all of trans people - there is not so much as one word.
And as for Labour's recent record on actually criminalising certain types of pornography, and all kinds of public sex, or the laws against consensual SM?
These appear to be literally unspeakable acts. The new "peccatum illud horrible, inter Christianos non nominandum" - "that horrible crime not to be named among Christians."

* In July 2009 The Lords passed Tory Lord Waddington's amendment allowing "discussion or criticism of sexual conduct or practice" when it can be proved it is not intended to stir up or incite hatred ya da ya da ya da...

Sunday, 18 April 2010


The Sunday streets are full
of tired-looking marathon runners
egged on by the sound of half-hearted clapping.

The pie shop and estate agent have opened especially
What do they hope to gain?
A woman from Marie Curie Cancer Care
Has a secret smoke round the corner

Some people say hello
to neighbours they don't want to know

A hen party still in pink cowboy hats
file back to the station deflated

Last night's pleasureheads now casualties
crawl home, pained.

This is Sunday
in Brighton, in England
Everyone thinking exactly the same thing;
"I can't wait til this is over."

Saturday, 17 April 2010

Independent Record Store Day 2010

I left the house - rather foolishly in retrospect - just after 10am.
First port of call Rounder, a proper Indie Store, good staff and that.
No queue!
Or is this a bad sign that I've left it too late?
"Could I have a copy of The Fall single, please?"
"Sorry mate, we just sold the last one."
I jog round the corner to Ape, a faux Indie with lots of wanky CDs that students think are cool at £5.
It's empty.
"Have you got any copies of The Fall single left?"
"No, sorry - none left."
"Oh. Did they go a long time ago? Am I wasting my time running round town now?"
"We only got given one copy."
Over to Edgeworld - a proper hardcore Indie store.
Tiny first floor shop, four dweebs queuing.
The tosser in front of me ASKS FOR THE FUCKING ROLLING STONES' SINGLE!!!!!!!!
Oh, fuck right off.
The bloke behind the counter tries to hide his contempt, and informs him they didn't get offered anything on a major label.
The tosser starts making small talk anyway.
"Well, this day has certainly worked - I didn't know you were here before..."
I butt in - "Sorry," I wasn't actually.
"Do you have any copies of The Fall left?"
"Oh, err, don't think so..."
He has a look around behind the counter.
"Nah, all gone."
Curses. I think I've fucked this up.
Cross the street to Resident - my last hope in Brighton.
There is a huge fucking queue stretching right round the shop and outside.
They are giving everyone queuing raffle tickets with numbers on, to prevent fist fights.
I am number fucking 168.
I start queuing and tutting.
I ask the woman handing out the tickets if there are any copies of The Fall left.
"Yes, there's a few, I think."
Despite having four staff working behind the counter Resident has one till working.
Well done Resident! :applaud:
This could take days.
There is an old lady in front of me in the queue.
I think; if she's wasting ten seconds of my life trying to buy The Beatles there'll be trouble.
As it turns out she's trying to get a copy of the Pet Shop Boys single for her son; "He's in Australia."
After twenty minutes I actually get inside the shop.
They've put all the record sleeves up on one wall - about one-third have disappeared to be replaced by "Sold Out" signs.
I check with the ticket woman - they've still got some Fall in.
"Am I right that if one of your colleagues takes down The Fall sleeve that means someone's bought the last one?"
"Yes, it does," she smiles.
I notice its price; £4 fucking 99!
I skip out to the cashpoint as I was hoping it would be £2.99 tops.
There are still 60 people queuing ahead of me.
Much time passes, pages fly off a calendar, leaves fall...
Thankfully most people here appear to be 12 year-olds buying Indie toss I've at best vaguely heard of.
I see two copies of Bury being brought out and bagged up.
One to - could it be? Yes it is... my Fall-loving chum Toby Dynamik!
Another goes to a chap a few people in front of me with a copy of The Racing Post under his arm (Hello, if you're reading this).
Some cunt then brings out a list with all the records issued today on and starts asking for about ten of them - seemingly at random.
If that fucker asks for a copy of Bury there'll be fucking trouble.
He does.
There isn't any trouble though, what with me being a coward and that.
Only about eight numbers before me to go now.
I keep rubbernecking behind me to check The Fall sleeve is still up there.
It is.
It's my turn!!!!
"Canihaveacopyofthefallsingleplease?" I squeak whilst hyperventilatingly.
The chap picks up a copy, scans the price and puts it in a small plastic bag.
He hands it to me.

And that was how I bought a copy of Bury by The Fall on Independent Record Store Day 2010. :)

Nick Clegg: Dianabollocks

Dianabollocks - remember its name.
Dianabollocks is when the world gets caught up in a wave of mass hysteria.
is when whole swathes of a country leave reason behind.
is an outburst of collective insanity.
is the enemy of independent thought.
We've just had the first sighting of some total and utter Dianabollocks of the election campaign. After the first televised Prime Ministerial debate on Thursday, one YouGov poll saw the Lib Dems leapfrogging over Labour into second place, putting them just behind the Tories with 30% of the vote.
Pundits claim this is the Clegg effect, all down to his triumphant appearance on the tellybox this week. But this is Dianabollocks. It has scarcely anything to do with what Clegg actually said on Thursday night. It's about a mad rush to say the same thing as everyone else; "Well, I'll certainly think about voting for them now..."
God help us if there's an election.

Friday, 16 April 2010

Election: Gary Barlow comes out...

Gary Barlow - the fatter one from out of Take That - has just confirmed what many of us suspected all along - he's a Tory.
The election's as good as won now, surely?

Justin Bieber: This just in...

As part of my never-ending quest to keep up with the modern world, I bought a CD from a supermarket for the first time today [Justin Bieber's My Worlds Special Edition, pictured].
The £1 (estimated) I saved does not even begin to come close to making up for the considerable part of my life that I lost while waiting for some old dear with tremulous hands and poor eyesight to open up the safe thing where they keep the CDs and then find the actual disc.
That'll learn me.

Pink Pound: We are all bourgeois now (apparently)

I don't care about you, but I got bored sensible by last night's Prime Ministerial TV Debate about ten minutes in, and dutifully gave up at 9pm and started watching Have I Got News for You.
Interesting how often the Conservatives confusion over whether they actually support gay equality has become a recurring riff in commentary on this general election campaign. We got "another chance to see" Cameron fluffing then forgetting his lines on that GT YouTube interview (to my knowledge no-one has questioned why the new GT sent an ex Tory party worker to interview him, but there you go), then a return to this month's gay storm in a teacup, Grayling on bed and breakfasts. Posh comedian and panelist Marcus Brigstocke recalled with delight a recent letter to The Guardian, which read; "As a gay man, could someone explain to me what sort of a gay couple would choose to stay at a B&B instead of a boutique hotel?" [April 6th, 2010].
This drew much laughter from the audience - I just thought of the obvious answer; the countless gay men who can't afford to stay in boutique hotels.
On April 12th, The Guardian published this letter from one "Mary Lloyd"; "The abrupt addition of same-sex civil partnerships to David Cameron's categories of those select couples who would gain tax advantages under any future Tory administration reveals a cynical last-ditch effort to offset the damage caused by the shadow home secretary's homophobic remarks.
"So, rather than devoting the scarce resources of the state (in this recession) to the welfare of poor and needy children and families, the Conservatives prefer to shower tax advantages on couples with no dependents, enjoying double salaries, often able to afford the self-indulgent privileges of city-centre life. Some of these people will, I suspect, not be too happy to find that their ability to purchase yet another opera seat is being funded at the expense of youngsters from impoverished families just across the road, often in the same borough.
"This latest idiocy from Tory HQ is the clearest demonstration yet of the real values of the Old Etonians who hope to rule us all from May this year."
Of course, of course - this is how some see gay men. No small wonder, despite all evidence to the contrary, this lie has been pushed with equal fervour by both anti-gay evangelists and much of the gay press: "We are all bourgeois now".
It's also clear that for some sneering at gay men with the smear that we are all wealthy makes their homophobia somehow okay.
And why not? Such a tactic worked so well against the Jews in Germany in the 30s, didn't it?
Myths about "the Pink Pound" are the same ones that led to Yellow Stars.

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Who would Jesus roast?

I'm currently reading the new issue of Sorted, the lads' mag for Christian blokes.
It really has got it all; the footyball, decently clad babes, our Lord Jesus, columnists taking a sideways yet moral look at life...
I highly recommend it.

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

UKIP: Sod You

UKIP has launched their manifesto today, titled - get this - 'Straight Talking'.
I couldn't be arsed to read it all the way through, but it's nuttier than a scrotal sac, as per.
Essentially they want to bring back hanging, ban the metric system, tell all those bloated bureaucrats to hop off back to Brussels, spend more time playing golf, not eat any of that foreign muck, send "them" back, wera matching cufflinks and ties, and put an end once and for all to all of this politically correct malarkey.
But on the plus side they might overturn the smoking ban.
Swings, roundabouts...

Papal Visit: An Eye for an Eye

There are plans afoot to arrest His Holiness the Pope if he sets foot in the UK later this year, and have him tried for aiding and abetting the sexual abuse of minors.
This action will of course be supported by all who strive to be moral agents.
For those doubting Thomases who harbour any doubts, Richard Dawkins argues the case here.
But why stop there?
One of the tenets of Christan teaching is; "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
And thus - but of course - we should do unto others as they would do unto others, and do things by the good book.
The Bible is quite clear that same-sexing is "an abomination: they shall surely be put to death." (Leviticus 20:13 KJV).
So, at the very least, we should kill any priest found guilty of child rape.
And why stop there?
The Bible is also quite clear that all citizens of cities that are soft on sodomy - such as Sodom and Gomorrah once were - should be subjected to a collective punishment; genocide.
We must demand nothing less than the total physical destruction of the Vatican City - ideally with fire and brimstone - and of all those who abide there, including Pope Benedict.
It's the only language they understand.

Monday, 12 April 2010

Free from desire

I heard a programme on BBC Radio 4 about "chemical castration" for serial sex offenders.
Although people working in that field don't use that term, they did say that it's quite common, and the drugs most often used today is fluoxetine - that's the generic name for Prozac.
It's certainly acted as a real passion killer with me, and a lowered libido is one of the most reported side effects in men.
I wonder if there's any connection between losing your sex drive and being happier?
Maybe the Buddhists are onto something when they say nirvana comes from being free from desire?

I also liked this quote I came across yesterday from Flaubert; “To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.”
Maybe it's better to be miserable after all?

Terre'blanche Murder: Don't panic?

Some can barely contain their excitement at the news that South African police investigating the murder of neo-Nazi bastard, Eugene Terre'blanche, have been told by lawyers acting for the two men who have been arrested that their defence will argue they acted in self-defence after Terre'blanche had tried to have sex with them.
Some love the idea that every homophobe - especially a far right homophobe - is a secret closet case.
Such men of course do exist; most infamously Hitler's "useful gay idiot" Ernst Rohm - a man who ultimately outlived his uses. Terrible Twin Jaroslaw Kaczynski - the closeted gay brother of dead man of the moment, Lech - former Polish PM and current chair of the Law and Justice Party has never been afraid of using homophobia to appeal to Catholic fundamentalist voters. And BNP leader Nick Griffin has recently denied that he was the bicha of the former NF senior cadre, Martin Webster...
Nonetheless alarm bells should sound whenever any lawyer cries; "Gay panic". Cold blooded killers of gay (and non-gay) men would often use such a "defence" in Britain knowing judges and juries would look more kindly on a man who'd murdered a "predatory" queer.
The official press in Zimbabwe seem keen to claim that Terre'blanche had tried to involved the two men in a "gay orgy" - and are now saying some former gay lover is about to come out of the woodwork. But it's almost an article of faith among the Mugabe regime that everyone they don't like - no matter how politically disparate - are part of some great secret gay conspiracy in legion against them.
For the record Terre'blanche was married, and had been outed before over an extra-marital affair with a woman.
Yes, I know that doesn't negate the idea that he was gay, or bisexual, so please don't write in.
But in a heated and politically-charged case like this I'd avoid jumping to conclusions about anything...

Labour Manifesto: A future vague for all

A quick skim through Labour's election manifesto which is published today...
If you thought there might be a few nice fluffy mentions of "the gays" you'd be wrong.
If they are re-elected it says they will "enforce the Equality Act", that means the Labour party supports its own legislation - oh whoopeefuckingdoo!
The only other bit of specific gay relevance I could find was a section stating that; "We support couples who want to get married and for whom marriage offers the best environment to raise children." (Page 43, emphasis added).
Which at present means gay parents are - at best - second best.
Surely the easiest way for Labour to show it has a genuine commitment to gay equality would have been for its manifesto to commit to introducing same-sex marriage if they are re-elected.
Even though it is now legal from Spain to South Africa, in a general election that will be decided by Middle England, for New Labour gay marriage seems to be literally unmentionable, perhaps even unthinkable.

In Memoriam - Lech Kaczynski

So farewell then
Lech Kaczynski
Right-wing homophobic neo-liberal cunt

It's just a shame your brother Jaroslaw
The closeted
Right-wing homophobic neo-liberal cunt
Wasn't in the plane with you.

Chris Grayling B&B Row: Big gay nothing?

Yesterday saw a "Big Gay Flashmob" outside the Tories office in Millbank.
Around 400 people were present at the protest, though the media are portraying them as a mere supporting cast for the main attraction... Peter Tatchell.
Same as it ever was.
As has happened a great deal over the last week or so, there was much wailing and gnashing of New Labour teeth over the Shadow Home Secretary, Chris Grayling, saying off the record that Christian owners of a B&B should be allowed to turn away gay couples on "moral grounds".
How strange that this single issue has become a stuck record for New Labour.
You may recall how the last Blair cabinet were so committed to gay equality as an absolute principle that they almost fell apart because of Tony Blair and Ruth Kelly's demand that Catholic adoption agencies should be exempted from equality legislation, and be allowed to refuse to accept lesbian and gay couples as foster parents.
And could it not just possibly be that New Labour are making so much of Grayling's support for Christian Bed & Breakfast owners' "right" to say; "There's no room at the inn", because the goods and services legislation brought in under the Equality Act 2007 was just the only gay rights legislation Gordon Brown voted for?

Television: First post, last Betty

There is a snoretastic non-article in The Guardian today; How gay teens got back on TV.
It's quite remarkable that the headline can ask a simple question that the piece doesn't bother to answer.
And that the journalist doesn't have anything interesting to say on the subject.
Instead we get a little list of gay teens on TV - apparently now they are six. This piece has - apparently - been prompted by the coming out of the (admittedly adorable) Latino teen queen, Justin Suarez in Ugly Betty.
I also have no idea what the "gay teens got back on TV" refers to in some non-existent past. Anyone?
The journalist is Morwenna Ferrier (No, me neither). One might have thought it a good idea to ask some actual real life gay teens what they thought about all this, not Morweena. She appears to be suffering from a delusion that is common among journalists; that Peter Tatchell and Ben Sumerskill are The Only Gay Men In Britain (In future I shall refer to them as The OGMIBs, unless I get bored with this first), and they - and they alone - must comment on any and every gay story, regardless that others may know rather more about the subject.
Are either of The OGMIBS part of Ugly Betty's target audience? Have either of them even watched the show?
Ben Summerskill - the chief executive of Stonewall - made an interesting point that it was "more about commercial reality than high-minded principle."
Interesting, but clueless; does he not know that Justin comes out in the last ever episode of Ugly Betty? And that it's the last episode ever because the network, ABC, cancelled the series as so many viewers - and advertisers - were literally turned off?
A better example of big business coming on all gay-friendly not out of principle but commercial reality, is surely Stonewall's Diversity Champions programme?
The conclusion to the Guardian piece - "it's hard to argue that anything which brings such an abundance of great, diverse gay teenage characters on to our screens can be a bad thing" - is so banal and Pollyanna-ish one is tempted to argue exactly that.