Friday, 30 November 2012

Fagburn: Me Me Me!

Fagburn has been very depressed these last few weeks.
I know! Boo hoo hoo.
Squish squish *sad face* etc.
Some people say they are "depressed", but for some of us depression means we can't literally function and just want to die.
I'm not asking for sympathy - well, I am - I'm just trying to explain why this blog may have been a lot of random half-hearted bitter and/or boring balls of late.
Obviously everything would be better if we lived in a communist paradise where Tom Daley would let me kiss and cuddle him. 
But I understand my utopia may not be ever realised.
This is - clearly - the modern world's greatest tragedy, but we must somehow try to go on. 
I've been helped by some people's kind words, especially by my friends, some on FOF and here - and of course - my mum, and by listening to The Fall and Go-Kart Mozart.
I hope to be back to abnormal and posting endless crap about gay crap soon.
Thank you for your patience.



  1. Could the depression have something to do with the fact that you are daily rubbing your nose in all the anti-gay s**t that swirls around the world?

    My own experience of being a gay activist (several decades ago) is that the relentless opening up of oneself to the nastiness can get in the way of living at ease as a gay man.

    Even so, I hope you won't stop the blog.

    1. You are quite right.
      Writing about this stuff is depresssing.

    2. Think Paul has a point. Friends tell me not to go on line and read the Daily Mail website as it is so awful. I tell them I like to keep my eye on what the bastards are up to. Anyway my laptop died so I was without the means to check up on them - I certainly was not going to buy it. So I was about 2 weeks without a laptop till I got the new one and surprise felt somehow lighter and cleaner for not having to read the crap. Keep going young man. John F

  2. Yes dont stop the blog. I enjoy it v much even though I dont always agree. Interesting and intelligent. Need more. Youre doing something good there Richard.

  3. going through much same thing myself so i can empathise with everything you say -- only, substitute tom hardy for tom daly ;p

    i've refused drug intervention -- which is possibly foolish -- so it's taking a long ass time to get through. but i'm starting to feel a glimmer of hope -- that most precious muthafuckin commodity known to man and the only friend that can get you out of this desolation. i'm fucking clueless how anyone goes about acquiring hope; but people do, if they stick around long enough --- and so will you.

    just take things at your own pace, we'll stick around for you.

  4. As said above quite understandable...Makes the joy all the more breathtaking though, I find. I recommend dark roast coffee, Indian hemp and some animated comedy...It makes 'News from nowhere' a little more dreamlike, yet still within our reach.

  5. Good luck Mr. F-B, anyway it'll pass.

  6. Keep keeping on.

  7. If it's any help, I really enjoy reading your posts - erudite and humorous with Actual LOL Moments.

    Accept the invitation to speak at your old school and I think you'll find that preparing the talk will lift your spirits (as will delivering it).

    1. Thanks to everyone who's said nice things here.


  8. I have mild to moderate depression every year and exacerbated during the winter months. Several years ago I bought a SAD light-box which I sit in front off most days for 30 minutes and it really helps.

    I also agree with the feelings about 'Hope' and to help me with this I listen to TED lectures - helps me to put my life into perspective. Here is a great one from Brene Brown on vulnerability & shame and pertinent to depression

    All our journeys are different though.

    As with others Rich, I enjoy your writings, ramblings and love-letters to Daley. Life would be less 'Rich' without them, though as Paul says above, fighting a corner can be exhausting. But a problem shared does help.

    Will x

  9. stay with us m8 , when the black dog is at your door, go out and be helpful to someone else.. simple kindness and response can work a little, it does for me and lets me reconnect with the world..
    i'd switch tom daly to a tango in the shadows with louis smith please

  10. Again, me to, in that I've suffered the blues, and I dont just mean at the Ranelagh.
    Take heed of what Elvis said being the key to a happy life. "Something to do, Something to look forward to, Someone to do it with".
    This doenst mean with 'him', it means anyone.
    I'm free most week nights and some weekends.
    Come and have a beer at the Cameltoe - and we can snark the bears.

  11. You piss me off. You make me laugh. You frustrate me. You teach me stuff. You make me cry. You open my eyes to things. You stir shit up when it needs to be done. You're an inspiring writer.
    But you do wade through the absolute worst shit humanity has to offer on a daily basis.
    Go easy on yourself, Fagburn.
    You're too precious and your own life is too important to sacrifice your well-being on all this.
    Keep up the good work, but look after yourself too.


  12. I blame the cake topper photos... theres only so many you can take! hope you feel better soon. i enjoy your internet presence, an intelligent antidote to all the lamescream media bullshit and propaganda lies- random internet guy

  13. Being a lover of Radio 4 as you are & the Today prog, why not have a week or 2 of guest bloggers. You get a break and we get the chance of noteriety and to wade through s**t. Win win really.

    Thinking of you man!


  14. There is only one Fagburn!

    Having said that, GET BACK TO WORK - none of us are getting any younger here, dude!!!

    (I think he may be a bit worse for wear after last night's Fall gig in Hove)