Friday, 15 March 2013

All Gay Media: Have You Seen This Child?

It has come to Fagburn's attention that the gay media have not run a story involving a child for five minutes.
These stories are easily recognisable - mainly because of their icky sentimentality.
If you have seen any stories involving any of the following, please contact your local gay editor immediately.

Kid comes out.
Kid comes out... in spectacular fashion! (Video).
Kid writes moving letter about his two "moms" to anti-gay politician (probably made-up, but meh).
Kid organises annoying Lady Gaga flashmob in local mall.
Kid: "I have one too!" - a personal day-by-day diary by a gay dad. 
Kid: "Why I love my effeminate gay son, aged two", by a slightly unhinged "proud mom".
Kid makes yet another fucking Call Me Maybe lipsynch video. Adorable! etc etc.
Kid stands up to high school bullies. So brave etc etc.
Kid posts moving It Gets Better video on YouTube. 
Kid who posted moving It Gets Better video commits suicide (Part of an on-going series).

And remember: Sentimental crap makes the world go round!

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