Thursday, 18 April 2013

Margaret Thatcher: Goodbye To A Gay Icon

Literally millions of gay men filled the streets of London's gay Soho yesterday to pay their last respects to Margaret Thatcher, Britain's gayest Prime Minister, Fagburn can reveal.
As the funeral cortege passed by, the crowds spontaneously began singing 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow', the gay national anthem.
Many wept, some cried out in pain, at least one got an attack of the vapours and fainted.
All were united in grief.
LGBTory - the Conservative Party's gay group - lightened the somewhat funereal mood with their fantabulosa Disco Float.
They blew whistles and danced to top hits by Lady Gaga - ironically this was also what colleagues called Thatcher during her final years.
Joe Gormless of Ping Pong News told Fagburn; "Maggie was a gay icon - I saw this on the internet so it must be true. Admittedly she was a divisive figure for the gay community, some only talk about Section 28 and her not giving a fuck about all those faggots dying of Aids, but we should also remember that at least she didn't round queers up and put them in concentration camps like Hitler did. This was very progressive thinking at the time."
Gormless points out that many leading "gay icons" were invited to Thatcher's funeral service; including Joan Collins, Michael Portillo, Jeremy Clarkson, Christopher Biggins and Henry Kissinger.
Tristram Smithers, editor of Gay Stupid News, choked back the tears and added; "She was the gay people's Prime Minister and princess, all rolled into one. We've just run this totally true story I saw in The Sun about how Freddie Mercury once smuggled Thatcher into the Vauxhall Tavern disguised as a male model - brilliant. That shows she was a total fag hag!"
The funeral also had its own "Pippa Middleton's arse moment" for excited right-wing gays, when they caught sight of her grandson, Michael Thatcher.
Within seconds #topfuneraltottyahoy began trending on Twitter.
@ruggerbugger78 tweeted "Phwoar! Wouldn't mind destroying his manufacturing base!!!"
Sadly for the gayers, after exhaustive research on the internet it doesn't look like he's a big gay, unlike, say, James Middleton.
Oh, and some gay killjoys also came to protest, but we haven't much space left to write about them.


  1. Gosh all the votive lamped portraits of Thatcher in the civil partnered, Daily Mail reading homes; most surely become shrines to Our Lady Thatcher...

    Besides that an extended lulz to yourself sir.

  2. "..but we should also remember that at least she didn't round queers up and put them in concentration camps like Hitler did."

    In fact mad Christopher Moncton, Thatchers so-called Scientific Advisor, declared at the outset of the AIDS panic that HIV carriers should be "..isolated compulsorily, immediately, and permanently." Fortunately they realised that such a move would be unpopular and unworkable. Just a good job there were no votes to be had in such a move.

    1. There was a columnist on the Daily Star, Brian Hitchen, who also kept arguing for this.
      He was later made editor.
      His column was called 'Straight talking from the Star'!

    2. Was there any mention of quarantining HIV carriers in the early '80s?
      I only ask because I think Moncton made the suggestion a bit later - maybe mid-late '80s? But in the introduction to Alan Moore's 'V For Vendetta' he mentions that one of the things on his mind when he wrote it was Thatcher and her government's plans for "concentration camps" for HIV carriers, but his book was written around 1982.

  3. Unfortunately at the moment 'gays love Michael Thatcher' isn't even on the first page of most search engines. Which is a shame as I'd love to imagine his surprise upon googling himself.