Friday, 27 September 2013

G*y Best Friend: Blow Me!

If SEX in the City and Will & Grace taught us anything, it's that g*y best friends are in this season. We've had the manbag, we've had leg warmers and iPhone fever, now it's time for the new craze. Although not much can be said for his own attire, your Inflatable g*y Best Friend is ready to give you fashion advice, tell you if your bum looks big and b**ch about everyone who doesn't wear Jimmy Choo's. He may be rather quiet, but one look at that smiling, Gary Lineker-esque face and you know what he's thinking..."You go girlfriend!" Ready with an inflatable bunch of roses to cheer you up after any break up or bad day, your new g*y Best Friend will be at your side whenever you need a hug. An ideal gift for Hen Nights, Birthdays and Christmas stocking fillers, inflate your personality and kiss your worries goodbye with the Inflatable g*y Best Friend!

Tesco Direct - now removed from site (Cached page).

Fagburn likes the way the word SEX is put in caps, but the word gay is "censored" with an asterisk.
I know not why, but suspect it's due to one person's stupidity, not some great homophobic conspiracy.
It also says the suggested age range is 3-4 years. 
Modern parenting, eh?
Well, this inflatable "fun" novelty item is definitely naff, crap and patronising - the box lists the usual cliches you see in all those rubbishy articles about GBFs; Loves to shop, great sense of humour, loves to dance, gives great fashion advice, loves rimming etc etc - and I really wouldn't want to be friends with anyone sad enough to want one.
But Pink News report that the doll has just been withdrawn from Tesco's website! *
Excuse me?!
The first line in their story points out this happened; "A day after Tesco was forced to withdraw two Halloween outfits after they were criticised for stigmatising people with mental health issues."
Meaning, presumably, that someone thinks this doll is "stigmatising" of the gaize, and offensive and so they screamed; "THIS IS HOMOPHOBIA!!!"
Err, it was a rubbish joke, presumably ironic, and aimed at homophiles.
How stupid would you have to be to take this seriously?
Oh well, yet another victory for the spaghetti-boycotting gay hysterics.
Could they be any more boring?
To repeat what I wrote about the Barilla pasta boycott balls yesterday; "Fuck knows how anyone who can get angry about this would cope if something really bad happened."
Name one thing that exists in the known universe and I'm sure you could find someone who says they're offended by it.
From cucumbers and beards and Pot Noodles to the very existence of (real) gay men.
I personally find the sound of people eating crisps and the smell of Glade Plugins extremely offensive.
I don't think they should be banned, though.
My advice? "Shut up and grow up and get in the real world, Mr Gaybore."

PS These blow-up dolls are still widely available in several shops in Brighton, often ones run by jolly older gay men - the self-loathing quislings!

* Gay Star News may have reported on this "controversy" (!) first, but the story has no time of filing.

Update: And inevitably it's... SUPERGAYBORE TO THE RESCUE!!!

Cause lots of humour is based on stereotypes - thanks for asking.

At last... 
Tesco ‘very sorry’ for displaying ‘offensive G*y Best Friend’ inflatable doll on website - Pink News.
But why?
Every gay man I've asked thinks this whole thing is ridiculous.
The joyless gay idiots are winning, boys, best be on your guard.

Update: FFS! Even The Guardian are writing about this as if it's something anyone cares about except a few loons on Twitter.

It even made it to Radio 4 news - but in their defence they did put it in the "And finally... a skateboarding duck", it's-a-funny-old-world slot.

Update2: The Daily Mail shares your pain about Tesco selling this inflatable GBF.
But have a look through the Mail Online index and see how many patronising articles they've run about shopping, dancing, witty, sassy etc Gay Best Friends.
Fagburn lost count/interest.
This, of course, also applies to every newspaper in Britain.

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