Sunday, 22 December 2013

Fagburn: The First Worsts

Fagburn's Inaugural First Worsts Gay Media Watch 2013 Awards Ceremony...

Worst newspaper in the world.

The Independent. Unbelievably patronising dim-witted gay coverage, all seemingly written by posh straight interns who know fuck all about The Gays, and whose idea of research is typing 'gay' into Google News. Actually chose the "inventor" of a pink Union Jack as the tenth most important gayer in Britain! And don't even get me started on Tilda fucking Swinton and her stupid rainbow flag.

Worst journalist.

Patrick Strudwick. Pearl-clutching bed-wetting liberal idiot. Would accuse a pencil-case of being 'homophobic'. Literally incapable of writing an interesting sentence. Seems to think the main point of journalism is publishing photos of his grinning face (Sad "Boo-hoo squish squish sad face" also available).

Worst journalist in the world of gay.

They are both called Joe. This seems to be "a thing".

Worst journalist in the world of lesbian.

Nancy Goldstein. Actually clinically bonkers.

Worst straight journalist writing about something she knows fuck all about.

Gemma Aldridge for her fantastically ignorant Sunday People article saying "bug chasing" is "a thing".

Worst straight media gay cliché.

Gay dads. Arggggghhhh!

Worst pop star.

Lady Gaga - an absolute five star patronising idiot.

Worst article of the year.

Pink News declares the late Margaret Thatcher a "gay icon". FFS! [See also that Tory winker Damian Barr's Maggie & Me].

Worst website.

Huffington Post Gay Voices. Could you be a bit less boring and worthy, please?

Worst website in the proud to be a gay American world.

Americabloggay. 'Russia bad. America good. Must serve empire! Ugh!' Could you be any more servile to American power? [No].

Worst article about The Gays and The Sports.

Too many to mention, but apparently it is still "the last taboo."

Worst decision.

The conviction of Chelsea Manning.

Worst gay Uncle Tom.

The Daily Mail's Andrew Pierce. 'And I say this as a self-loathing gay Tory myself...' [Fifth year running].

Worst gay hypocrite.

Cardinal Keith O'Brien. Hahahahahahahaha!

Worst liar.

Waitress in anti-gay receipt scam. Astounded people still print junk like this story unquestioned.

Worst hoax.

Kenny Everett and Freddie Mercury took Princess Diana in man drag to the Vauxhall Tavern. Yeah, that happened.

Worst transphobes.

Julie Burchill, Julie Bindel et al.

Worst television programme ever made.

Vicious. FFS!

Worst not coming out.

"Unfortunately, I am not homosexual. In technical fact, I am humasexual. I am attracted to humans. But, of course ... not many". Morrissey. 
You are even gayer than me and Tom Daley's gay lovechild, dear.

Worst gay news site.

Gay Star News. Just unbelievably embarrassing business-rimming naff shit. Literally turning your brain into apolitical mushy peas. Any gay publication will bear the imprint of its editor, so that's why GSN is as dull as saggy old arseholes. Thanks Little Lord Tristram Double-Barrelled Name! Can you just not? Fagburn hates!

Worst gay message board.

Pink News. It really is the gay Mail Online. Do only members of LGBTory read this?

Worst gay campaign group.

Queer Nation NY. Cause why protest about queer homelessness, poverty, misery and homophobia in New York, when you can organise a photo-op of you pouring Russian [Latvian?] vodka down a drain?

Worst gay tizzyfit.

A famous person said they're not that keen on gay marriage. He must die!! Bet he eats that gay-hate Barilla pasta!

Worst gay meme.

By Stonewall. Oh do shut up.

Worst LGBT campaigner.

Saint Peter Tatchell. Egomaniac and fantasist who confuses a movement with himself, thus destroying any real potential for a left-wing grassroots gay movement. Last seen harassing an old man who's said he doesn't support anti-gay laws. No wonder the Daily Mail thinks Pete is a "national treasure".

Worst blogger.

Fagburn. Solipsistic sanctimonious embittered joyless moaning twat.


  1. Bring me my angry trousers!!

  2. I'm a bit disappointed not to win worst blogger. What do I have to do to get the recognition I deserve?!

  3. Don't agree with every one of the 'winners' but love a worst of list at the end of the year instead of the usual best of bollox.

  4. Your jealousy of accomplished people who get paid to write and respected by people who pay to read their writing is very entertaining. Feel a bit sad for you though. Best of luck, dear.

    1. Dear Paul Burston,

      Please have the guts to troll my blog under your own name.

      You saying that writing only has a financial value speaks volumes about what a right-wing cunt you are.


  5. Ah, of course the comments have to be approved. A good troll knows when to protect their patch.

    1. That's automatic with, you idiot.