Sunday, 15 June 2014

Introducing Our New Star Columnist: Owen Jones

Selfie! So sincere it hurts...
Eee, I'm from up North, me.
And I'm not just putting it on.
By 'eck.
Let's have a cheeky brew!
That's what they say, isn't it?
Some say I'm like a crap drag act with my hilair faux Northerness.
But I say, 'Do one!'
Now booking!
Cause I can also do working class drag.
I remember the Miner's Strike, like t'yesterday, even though I was born in August 1984, which was halfway through.
Still, lots to talk about at a dinner party.
It was at one of those dinner parties I realised my posh friends didn't like poor people much.
Wrote a book about it.
Don't know much about the gays either.
Wrote an article about that, too, ironically demonising them as an 'other'.
Eee, them gays is their own worst enemies.
My head has fairly swollen of late.
I blame the fame.
Follow me on that Twitter, if you're not one of the three people I haven't blocked for daring to criticise me.
Ecky thump!
Black pudding.
Quick selfie with me and a dying Tony Benn.

Eh up missus, he was made of coal, made of coal.

Don't you all be commenting on my boyish good looks, even though no-one but me is obsessed with them.

Bloomin' eccles cakes!

PS Fagburn went to a talk by Owen, before she was famous and just after the publication of Chavs, asked him to define 'the working class'm as the book seemed more concerned with what some snoots call the underclass.



  1. What's she done to piss you off? You used to rave about Owen.

    1. He got WAAAY more successful than this jealous queen. Sad but true

    2. Not too successful to leave a load of boring comments on Fagburn, though.
      Good for you. I mean 'him'!

  2. If you spent as much time attacking the neocons...

    1. I do actually.

      More so.

      But thanks for asking.

  3. What's had you turn on him so quickly?

  4. are you suggesting he's made up growing up in stockport and sheffield? that's a pretty substantial claim, got any evidence? if anything his accent is pretty weak given he grew up there

  5. It's oop north, dear. And no-one round 'ere says "cheeky brew" or "ecky thump". And the fine dining establishments are falling over themselves to serve black pudding with provenance, whatever that is. Probably 1000 southern chefs will be go to work tomorrow demanding their minions find a recipe for working class gravy. Well, if anyone read your blog they would.

    Soft southerners really should leave the northern parodies alone.

    1. Cheeky brew! I know no-one says it, that is point.

      @OwenJones84 6 Sep 2012
      Glad to be given a cheeky brew in a NUJ mug at ITN

    2. Fucking hell. How banal. To think, Owen Jones thought that was worth writing and maybe tens of people wasted their life reading it. Truly, Social Media are for the brain dead.

  6. How would you define 'working class' then fagburn?

    1. George Carlin thought the middle class did all the work, the upper class got all the money and the working class were just there to scare the shit out of the middle class to keep them showing up at their jobs every day.
      It's the only thing he ever said that sounded like bollocks, to me.

  7. Scott Long's Sock Puppet15 June 2014 at 15:53

    Fagburn has metamorphised into one of guru scott long's many willing sock puppets. Obviously sitting at their master's feet fagburn and others have divined their master's wishes- "Go Forth And Verily Slag Off Owen Jones for this minor deity dareth to approach me in famousness". And thus it was so, the sock puppets of guru scott long did as they were bid.

    1. In a parallel universe thou shalt make sense.

    2. Scott Long FTW!!!

  8. That's a pretty crap definition of 'working class' fagburn. That definition would include many milionaires and very rich people- eg richard branson- he works.

    Come on try again. Null points for that pathetic effort

    1. Peoples who sells their labour?

    2. People who have nothing to sell except their labour? Or is Lord Browne of BP working class?

    3. Are you suggesting that 'Lord Browne' actually labours??
      Haha, it's almost worth reading all these anonymous comments clearly by the same person (Hello, Owen!) just for that zinger.

  9. But I work ever so hard, I can tell you, running the estate covering half of Perthshire that Daddy left me.

  10. If he were actually working class he'd never get anywhere near the coverage he gets. They would never invite him on to the shows he regularly appears on.
    The middle class don't mind being lectured by one of their own as it allows them to feel they're open to it without actually having to do anything about it, but watch what happens if they're ever exposed to working class people who try and tell them the truth. They get shut down.
    The irony of Owen Jones is that the author of a book about how our culture looks down on the working class has built his own success on the very hypocrisy that such a book should have exposed.

    Imagine a working class person who pretends to be as thick as Boris Johnson does and tell me that such a person would get anywhere near a London mayoral election, let alone actually elected.
    Look at the way Dennis Skinner, say, is never treated seriously and always kept at a safe distance.
    Owen Jones owes his success to the same hypocrisy.

  11. Fagburn has become a microcosm of the tabloids he criticises. Biuld 'em up and when they get big, tear 'em back down again.

  12. He's a right cracking socialist!

  13. That 'writing compelling columns' course - or whatever it is - is absolutely fucking hilair.
    The Guardian is full of those courses or seminars now. How to write a novel, etc. There was a full page ad a while back that had like 6 different courses all relating to writing a novel: 'How to write a first draft' was one - then 'How to edit your draft', 'How to re-edit your second draft', 'How to get an agent' or something like that... and each one cost a small fortune. It's incredible. An actual industry of teaching people who don't write how not to write books.
    It's fucking depressing.