Tuesday, 30 September 2014

USA: LGBT Poverty Report

Report by LGBT Movement Advancement Project.

Although Fagburn isn't convinced by its extrapolations about how states' legal discriminations affect economic inequality, this is an important piece of research - yet ignored by all the main US gay media outlets apart from Joe My God. Go figure.

Ben Cohen: Messy Divorce

Daily Mail.

Fagburn is devastated to hear about Mr Cohen's divorce from his wife Abigail.

Abbie was paid £130,000 in two years by his Stand Up Foundation, while they gave out £35,000 in grants.

Her job description appears to have been 'Doing naff all'.

My thoughts are with her salary at this difficult time.

David Cameron: Digs Dudes Kissing


Stupid smug patronising posh tory twat.

The gay stuff is about 9 minutes in. Skipping the puke-making self-justifications of the rest is highly recommended.

Luka Magnotta: Eating People Is Wrong

One of endless in-no-way prurient, titillating and voyeuristic stories in today's papers.


Richard Barnes: Prat

Richard Barnes has torn up more than 30 years of links with the Tories to jump ship to Ukip.

He was first elected a councillor in the west London borough of Hillingdon in 1982 and went on to hold a series of senior positions in the capital, including serving as Boris Johnson’s deputy for four years.

He had an uncomfortable moment in the spotlight last year when naked pictures of him appeared on his Facebook page. The photographs were later removed and he said his account had been hacked.

Mr Barnes, who is gay, today dismissed claims that his new party was homophobic after a Ukip councillor blamed flooding in southern England on the vote to legalise same-sex marriage.

He said: “I’ll stand my ground against any prat. They are in all the parties. I don’t think they become homophobic the moment they join Ukip.”


Ken Dodd: Happiness

Endless thanks to Justine.


PS A penis?
The old jokes are the best.

George Michael: Isn't It A Shame He Doesn't Like The Ladies?


PS Fagburn was at that George Michael/Princess Di/Take That/Aids fing at Wembley Arena! Friend of the stars! Friend of the fucking stars!!!

Monday, 29 September 2014

Quiz Time: Is This Man A Cunt?

Hello, I'm a millionaire and I want you to starve...

Evan Davis: Can You Imagine!!?

Then there are the inevitable comparisons with his predecessor. If Paxman was an attack dog, then Davis is more of a wolf in sheep’s clothing – or, as some tabloids point out, the kind of clothing that you might find down your local bar on a Saturday night (the subtext being that Davis is – shock horror! – gay). He has been photographed in low-slung jeans and skin-tight T-shirts that show a flash of tattoo and hint at rumoured intimate piercings.

But while this is all great fun – can you imagine John Humphrys wearing trousers so low they showed off his boxer shorts? – I am not quite sure what it’s got to do with his ability to grill a politician. It’s not as if he’s going to front his first show in a pair of leather chaps with a riding crop. Today, Davis is wearing a cardigan and jeans – he looks like a cool, metrosexual geography teacher, if such a thing exists.

“I’m just not Jeremy Paxman,” he says, “and it would be worse if I was trying to be Jeremy Paxman. I’m so not Jeremy Paxman.”

Owen Jones: No

Please stop writing about gay stuff, Owen, it is quite embarrassing.

PS Our Owen will be in conversation with that other leading left-wing intellectual Russell Brand on October 23rd - it will be broadcast live via Picturehouse Cinemas.

Let's hope Picturehouse's underpaid workers have called off their boycott by then, eh?

Sunday, 28 September 2014

Correction Of The Day: The Daily Mail

Daily Mail.

Thanks for clearing that up.

Pink News: How Very Interesting!

Henry Wellcome: You're Welcome!

I am staring at a nude Popeye cartoon in a high, bright room in Wellcome Collection on the Euston Road in London. The museum is holding an exhibition called The Institute of Sexology, which will tell, in paintings and books and objects, the history of sexology and the sexologists. Popeye is naked with a cartoon woman. “You’re going to screw me till I say I’ve got enough,” she says. Not even Popeye is exempt from the human compulsion for sex. I’m glad Olive Oyl isn’t here.

The Wellcome Collection is part of the Wellcome Trust, founded by the American pharmaceutical millionaire Henry Wellcome, who owned an amazing collection of phallic objects, and who designated most of his fortune to enrich human and animal health. Was Henry Wellcome gay, I ask the charming curator, stupidly. “Good question,” she replies. We move on.

The history of sexology, which lives at the crossroads of biology, psychology and sociology, begins in the mid-19th century. The Victorians were what we would today call violently prudish; dowsed in the teachings of Christianity, they pathologised everything...

The Institute of Sexology exhibition is at the Wellcome Collection, London NW1, from November 20-Sept 20, 2015; wellcomecollection.org

Watch: Middlesbrough Pride!


Observer: British Sex Survey 2014!

Apparently some people are still having sex.


While only 8% of the population define their sexual orientation as either homosexual or bisexual, double that number (16%) have had a degree of sexual contact with someone of the same sex: 18% of women have had sexual contact with another woman, while 15% of men have had sexual contact with another man. Among those who define themselves as heterosexual, 12% have had sexual contact with someone of the same gender. Those in the youngest age group have had the most same-sex contact, 22% for 16-24s and 26% for 25-34s...

Do you think that gay sex should be made illegal?Yes = 16% 
No = 84%

And here's The Independent's regurgitation - complete with inventive and imaginative rainbow flag illustration!

Exclusive: A Man Has Been Caught Wanting To Have Sex!

More shocking news when we blackmail it...

PS In 2014, sexting is pretty dull and commonplace behaviour - SO WHO CARES??????????

Saturday, 27 September 2014

SchNEWS: And Finally...

The SchNEWS crew have decided to call it a day. We might stick out unexpected one-offs when the mood takes us but this will be the last issue of Brighton's very own 'direct action newsletter'.

It's been twenty years give or take, from humble beginnings in a now legendary squatted Court House to humbler endings in a ramshackle office out the back of an anarchist social centre. The SchNEWS back catalogue is a history of two decades worth of party and protest, from Reclaim the Streets to Reclaim the Power, from anti-globalisation to anti-fracking, from Bogota to Balcombe (via Newbury).

This year we blew the lid off the Infrastructure Bill (and even got a mention in the House of Lords), shone a light on the privatisation of probation, took on Michael Gove’s rewrite of the First World War, stood with Anti-Fascist massive in Tower Hamlets, and took aim how the British government was arming Israel during the bombing of Gaza.

Much as we’d like to say that the time for talking is over and we’re about to launch an underground guerrilla war from a network of bunkers along the South Coast the truth is that we’re throwing in the towel because of a lack of the people and interest required to keep going.

In many ways the format that SchNEWS originally came out in – a weekly printed A4 sheet - now looks like something Gerrard Winstanley might have knocked out. In the era of Twitter and Tumblr it seems deliberately archaic.

In a world where anyone can self-publish, and corporate-owned social media platforms are the primary form of public expression, grassroots media faces many challenges. In theory, the fact that anyone can start a blog or website should lead to a more democratic form of journalism. However, while certainly adding to the ferment of debate, these platforms haven’t actually strengthened our collective voice as a movement...

From SchNEWS Issue 861 - now read on...

Goodbye and thank you.

Herein Is Everything That Is Wrong With The Gay World Ever. Please Kill Me Now And Let My Bum Roast In Your Imaginary Hell


Tom Oakley: Gay Icon!

Tom Oakley may be a surprising new entry in our totally made-up poll of gay icons, but he is cute, clever and funny.

We also have no idea who he is.

But he has a big wang, and has never knowingly bombed somewhere foreign in service of empire.

Well done, Tom!


For a full list of GAY ICONS! Read one to Hazell Dean, Christopher Biggins, and whoever else returned our call yesterday.

Tony Blair: Gay Icon!

Look at all them fit soldiers behind him.

PS I am an idiot.

Friday, 26 September 2014

Eggs: Two Boiled


Two boiled eggs not pictured recently.

Twit Of The Day: Oh God Just Make It Stop!!!

Forgive me, for my eyes kept sliding off the screen, but I can see no declaration of interest here by Miss Butterskips.

You're a leading New Labour hack, are you not?


PS And finally... no disrespect to Benjamin Butterworth [Clue's in the name] or 'GT', but as I've said here before, any journalist who uses the term 'gay icon' - sans irony - is a clueless twot.

Full disclosure: Fagburn joined the Labour Party, back when it had this on the back of the membership cards.

But I never got beyond provisional membership, cause the first communication from the local ward was inviting me to a 'summer garden barbecue party'.

There and then I realised the Labour party was fucked, and decided to go back to being a communist.

Tony Blair: Don't Laugh!

Daily Telegraph.

And now let's take a quick look at today's Telegraph cartoon...

War: War Is Stupid

Peter Brookes, The Times.

GT: Satire!

Asked my mate Darren to mock this up for a larf.

Don't worry, it's not real!

As if anyone would choose this neo-Thatcherite god-bothering cunt and unconvicted war criminal as the greatest gay icon of the last 30 years.

PS You can always trust Independent Voices to come up with the gay wet liberal hackneyed goods.

What's that you say?

The man who wrote that runs the Labour Campaign For LGBT Rights?

I find that very hard to believe.

UKIP: 2014 Conference Highlights


Britain out of Europe! Buggers out of hotels!

The 2014 Ukip conference is being held this weekend in Doncaster.

Doncaster may be a new destination for those visiting for our conference, but it is in fact one of the very oldest towns in Britain.

First founded by the Romans before they even thought of venturing further north to York, it sits on the River Don close to the border with Nottinghamshire and Lincolnshire...

Typical bloody foreigners, they come over here, founding our towns...

Towie Bobby: Gay Icon!

That's you, that is!


I am going outside, I may be some time...

*sound of gunshot*

Gaytard: A Badge Of Honour

A gay South Dakota teen says his boss at Taco John's forced him to wear a "Gaytard" name tag at work.

The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) is representing Tyler Brandt, 16, in his discrimination case against Taco John's International for his alleged mistreatment at the Yankton, South Dakota fast-food joint.

"The night manager called me into the office and handed me a name tag he'd just made. He said, 'Wear this!' with a huge grin on his face like he was really proud of himself. I looked at the name tag and saw that it read 'Gaytard' with little hearts on either side of the word," Tyler wrote on the ACLU site.

"My mom raised me to be respectful and polite, and I didn't want to lose my job. So I put the name tag on and then said, 'OK, can I take it off now?' He just laughed at me and told me to leave it on."

Taco John's hasn't responded.


What's wrong with calling someone a 'gaytard'? 

I use it all the time.

Usually when muttering under my breath while reading the comments section of Gaytard News Gay Star News.

Some gays are gaytards, get over it, dude.

Ello: Goodbye

Facebook has been the center of controversy many times, but this may be the first time that their changing of the rules may hit them where it hurts. LGBT+ users who are shocked, saddened and offended by Facebook's new "real name" policy are flocking to a new network: Ello.

If you haven't heard of Ello before this week, you're not alone. Just this morning my Facebook timeline blew up with friends offering invite codes for what I assumed was a new Gilt-like shopping site, and what turned out to be a new and friendlier social network, which would allow anyone who wanted to be a part of it be who they wanted to be, complete with the name they've chosen for themselves...

A press release masquerading as news, now available to read on all gay media.

PS And when you get bored of reading re-writes of that PR puffery, here's another one about an exciting new gay magazine!

#FryDay: More Fool You

Hello my lovelies!

Well, kiss my little kinky boots and call me 'Bunty', methinks I shall dedicate the whole of today to little old me!

What a silly posh flatulent owl am I.

More cocaine, vicar?


Thursday, 25 September 2014

Honeymooners: Know Before You Go Go

The Daily Mail's handy summary of the Foreign Office's 'Know Before You Go' advice for honeymooning gay couples.

At the risk of sounding a bit Jan Moir, might I advise not visiting cruising areas or chat rooms during your honeymoon?

It doesn't bode well.

Tweet Of The Day: Patrick Strudwick

Who but Patrick 'Modesty Forbids' Smugtwit could try and take the credit for someone else getting an award nomination?

'And I dedicate your award to... me!'

Liam Fox: Big Kate Bush Fan

There have always been rumours of his sexuality for he married late, in 2005. What does he say to all those rumours that he is in fact gay? “I just ignore it.” And again, with all the attacks over Adam Werritty, the friend always described as “close”. “Just ignore it.” You always just get on with the job? “Listen: it gets worse now. You can spend all your time on blog sites. That tells you that people are criminals, paedophiles, all sorts. You just ignore it. You do what you are paid to do and you do it to the best of your ability. Get on with your real life.”

Liam Fox interviewed by The Times.

I've ignored all his views on Syria and that, and thought it best to stick to the tittle-tattle and innuendo...

His giggle laugh is a surprise; it’s like the start of Woody Woodpecker’s ha-ha-ha-ha-ha crescendo but earthier...

I know that Fox is a huge music fan, at Mastermind level when it comes to lyrics and song titles. Bowie is a particular favourite but he plays music all the time (Amy, his assistant, has a face of stone as he says this.) “I’m still desperately upset that I was unable to get Kate Bush tickets. It’s been my greatest disappointment of the year,” chortles Fox.

And that includes all sorts of things, I note, thinking of the reshuffle. “That was vastly outweighed by not getting Kate Bush tickets,” he says with another big giggle. I suspect we haven’t heard the last of that laugh yet.

PS Apparently, he's got a book out, but you know, meh.

Grayson Perry Watch: Separated At Birth?

DEPUTY Labour leader Harriet Harman today revealed she was mistaken for cross-dressing artist Grayson Perry after a fringe event during the party’s annual conference.

I’m used to people coming up to me and saying well done on the Olympics, because they think I’m Tessa Jowell. But I didn’t quite know how to react when this time I was leaving a fringe and on the way out I overheard someone say “why has Grayson Perry just made a speech at USDAW?”

From her speech to conference yesterday.

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Jason Orange: Gone For Good

Aww, he always was my favourite.

If this happened 20 years ago I'd be devastated.

And, lest we forget, Jason was the only member who didn't join in The That's £26 million scummy tax avoidance scam.


PS Note the really classy Miliband-bashing at top of page...

Typo Of The Week: Pink News

Pink News.

Damn you Daily Mail and all your pesky communist columnists!

PS Good piece in Sunday's Observer on LGSM's Mark Ashton; The real-life triumphs of the gay communist behind hit movie Pride.

PPS Apparently, Stephen Beresford is 'in talks' about turning Pride into a West End musical. Oh dear...

Mind you, maybe that means there's still hope for my feel-good musical about the Poll Tax riot.

PPPS On reflection, it can be a musical on condition that director Matthew Warchus gets Tim Minchin to write the songs. K?

Alan Bennett Watch: TV Or Not TV?

Alan Bennett has revealed that he enjoys watching "rubbish" on television and is a fan of Midsomer Murders, Family Guy and ''maybe the first Big Brother''.

The playwright, 80, is about to have a play, Denmark Hill, premiere on radio for the first time.

He said that he and partner Rupert Thomas ''probably (watch) more rubbish than we should''.

He told Radio Times magazine: ''I tend not to watch drama, and I don't like stand-up, so that cuts out an enormous amount. Apart from Stewart Lee, I like him because he's offensive. And Jeremy Hardy, but he's only on radio. The others just seem to be showing off.''

He added: ''We watch Midsomer Murders. It's not all rubbish. Andrew Graham-Dixon, that's not rubbish.''

Asked whether he watched any reality shows, Bennett told the magazine: ''Very few. Maybe the first Big Brother but I thought, 'God, they're all repellent.' I tend not to watch anything where one person is eliminated each week. There was even a programme about allotments: I thought, 'This'll be all right.' Then they introduced that format there! Allotments isn't a competitive activity.''

Quotes lovingly lifted by the Daily Telegraph (and me).

Alana B's play Denmark Hill will be broadcast by the Home Service on Saturday. 

He says he can't be arsed working with people in television anymore as they're a load of idiots.


Chelsea Manning Watch: Poisoned

Chelsea Manning, the US army soldier who released hundreds of thousands of secret documents to WikiLeaks, has filed a lawsuit in a federal court that charges her military jailers with violating her constitutional rights by denying medical treatment for gender dysphoria.

The legal complaint, lodged with a US district court in Washington DC, accuses the army of repeatedly ignoring her pleas for appropriate treatment for her condition. It names as defendants: the secretary of defence Chuck Hagel, major general David Quantock of the army corrections command, and colonel Erica Nelson who commands the disciplinary barracks in Fort Leavenworth, Kansas, where Manning is held.

“Every day that goes by without appropriate treatment, [Manning] experiences escalating anxiety, distress and depression. She feels as though her body is being poisoned by testosterone,” the suit says....

The Guardian.

Last week Chelsea wrote a comment piece for The Guardian, How To Make Isis Fall On Its Own Sword. See also Glenn Greenwald, Bombing Syria.

Tom & Dustin Watch: Such Sweeties!

They went public with their romance last year and have seen their relationship go from strength-to-strength after moving in with each other a few months ago.

And 20-year-old Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black, 40, proved that they are still blissfully in love as they enjoyed a stroll together in Los Angeles over the weekend where Tom shared his bag of pic 'n' mix with his screenwriter boyfriend.

The casually dressed pair were returning from a fun-filled day at the beach in Venice where they showed off their buff bodies in shorts and vests.

Olympic diver Tom wore a black vest with blue, black and neon yellow striped shorts while Dustin was clad in a light grey vest and white shorts. 

Both hunks wore dark sunglasses to protect their eyes from the LA sun...

Well done to the Mail for breaking this thrilling exclusive - Tom and Dustin were seen sharing a bag of sweets over the weekend!


And how kind of the journalist to list what the 'hunks' were wearing, presumably for the benefit of any readers who'd forgotten since they looked at the photograph.

Don't let Uncle Dustin eat too many sweets, eh Tom!

PS Behind the scenes video of a shoot for Tom's 2015 calendar! She's such a  little tart. 

Michael Cashman Watch: And Tomorrow The World!

You know we have made extraordinary progress on Lesbian and Gay rights over the last twenty years. If I think about the transformation that I have seen growing up into adulthood, the biggest transformation.

We’ve made such progress on equality. But we have to face the fact that internationally things are, if anything, going backwards. We can’t just let that happen. We can’t just say “well, that’s OK”. The next Labour government will fight to make sure that we fight for our values and for human rights all round the world.

So today I can announce that I am appointing Michael Cashman, Lord Cashman, as our envoy on LGBT rights all round the world...

From Ed Miliband's speech to the Labour Party conference yesterday.

Good grief, I wouldn't even trust Lord Cashman of Brown-nose to be LGBT envoy to Walford Square.
Sorry about this world.

PS There's a programme on BCC Radio 4 Extra on Friday, Pioneers, where Mr Cashman recalls the 1987, Eastenders gay kiss fiasco.

TV Caption Of The Week: "Gareth"

Watch video.
'A stroll on Hampstead Heath appears to have inspired Ed Miliband’s conference speech as he quoted from chance conversations in the park with software worker Gareth, chef Xiomara and two students who wished he was the actor Benedict Cumberbatch...'

The Guardian.

Photo Of The Week: The Last Week In June 1970 That Is

Two men ‘flip the bird’ at the Central Park crowd that’s formed as they compete in the kissing contest during New York’s inaugural Gay Pride celebration on 28 June 1970.