Sunday, 15 March 2015

The Guyliner: 15 Men You Should Never Take Home To Meet Your Mother

Taking someone home to meet your mum is a big deal, no matter how young or old you are. There’ll be men you’ll meet who you’d instantly think would be perfect mother material, and others you know are only for tonight.

And as for the ones you’re not so sure about, you can only hope that fate is on your side the day you take him home, praying he’s not one of this bunch of mum-toxic twits.

1. The Lick

On paper, this sycophant looks like the perfect guy to bring back to the family pile. He’ll compliment Mum on her hair, cooking, lovely kitchen – always a big draw – and join in on any gentle ribbing. Your mum, however, will see through this straightaway. She’s not stupid.

She’ll know that his “Ooh yummy” as he spoons more trifle into his mouth is a great big fake, and that her kitchen looks like the ape house at London Zoo at the best of times. This one’s up to something, and your mother shan’t rest until she’s worked out what it is.

And to make matters worse, when she’s figured it out, she probably won’t tell you – to teach you a lesson...

PS I love my Mum. x

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