Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Not Alone: Alternate Version

A piss-take of this crap.

Queerty: Suckers

This is stunning in its mendacity, audacity and cluelessness.

Queerty gloss over the fact that they originally ran this without questioning it.

It was left to several of their readers to point out that there were several gaping holes in her sob story.

There is something seriously wrong when this happens, as it does repeatedly.

Just as there is when the gay media can only pick up a story after it's run by a non-gay source.

When this becomes standard you have to wonder what is the point of a gay press.

Even if the bizarre 'relentlessly gay' note from a neighbour was real, why was her first course of action to ask complete strangers for money?

All gay media I saw proved similarly credulous, thus failing Fagburn's first law of journalism...

Always ask is this true?

But they hardly ever do.

If you are literally incapable of even thinking this - if you aspire to nothing beyond being yet another rainbow-coloured fart machine - then maybe it's time to close down your laptop for good?

PS Here's Fagburn's original post on why this story should have set alarm bells ringing. Edit: And another 'cry homophobia' hoax breaks; Utah man carves 'Die Fag' into his own arm, reports hate crime, fesses up. You couldn't make it up! Except he did

Luka Magnotta: Relationship Goals

Will convicted killer Luka Magnotta find love in a hopeless place?

The Canadian one-time porn star who was sentenced to life in prison for murdering his Chinese lover and mailing the body parts to schools and political parties has now joined a matchmaking website for inmates.

Magnotta’s profile was posted Sunday on Canadian Inmates Connect Inc., a dating forum that tries to link up lonesome jailbirds — some behind bars for violent offenses like first-degree murder — with potential companions on the outside.

The profile features two photos of the former stripper and prostitute in an unbuttoned white dress shirt.

He was convicted in December of first-degree murder for the 2012 killing and dismemberment of university student Jun Lin in Montreal in a case that horrified Canadians and made international headlines.

In his romantic plea, Magnotta describes himself as a 33-year-old single white male, 5 feet 11 inches, weighing 175lbs with dark hair and blue eyes, who is interested in men.

Based on his profile, Magnotta is seeking a boyfriend between the ages of 28-38 who is 'white and in shape. '

'One who is loyal, preferably educated, financially and emotionally stable for a long term committed relationship,’ the convicted murderer writes. ‘If you think you could be my prince charming, send me a detailed letter with at least 2 photos.

‘Only those I deem compatible will receive a response,’ the pouty inmate concludes...

Daily Mail.

Off to the post office...

Jailbait baby!

Independent Voices: Over The Rainbow

Here's what one user had to say on PG Tips' Facebook page, where its monkey puppet mascot wore rainbow glasses and a rainbow neckerchief and held a rainbow mug in front of a rainbow flag:

'You shouldn't be using the character of monkey, normally associated with pg tea for political purposes…thus is no place to be promoting gays. It is a lifestyle choice, it shouldn't be imposed on the rest of us by using popukar characters.' (sic)

[Edit: The pro and anti Facebook page comments are both wonderfully woefully thick!].

While I wildly disagree with the user's ideology and esoteric approach to spelling, they did hit on a key point about brands piggybacking on political events as if it is the same thing as leeching off national holidays.

The decision of these brands to 'go rainbow' was probably varyingly motivated by everything from sincere pride to shrewd, calculated marketing strategy. For the likes of Facebook and Twitter, with shared goals of bringing people together, it made sense, for others it was problematic and disingenuous, with United Airlines adopting a 'gay friendly' Facebook cover photo despite one of its managers previously been accused of calling customers "faggots" and Uber offering a rainbow promo code in spite of the fact one of its drivers once allegedly ejected a gay couple from a car for kissing on the backseat.

For some it simply made no sense. What does it mean for the PG Tips monkey to support marriage equality? In light of previous scandals with B&Bs, it's easy to see that Airbnb declaring itself in-line with the LGBT community can be helpful to customers, but what has mid-priced tea got to do with anything? Is it with great relief this morning that thousands of Britons awake safe in the knowledge that their cup isn't going to shout bigoted slurs at them?

What does Charmin toilet roll think about gay rights? What is Mr. Muscle's view on the death sentence? So help me god I'm washing my household surfaces with ditch water until they let me know.

This made a refreshing change from The Independent's usual happy-clappy patronising 'Hooray for the gays!' drivel where they feign getting over-excited about any rainbow-coloured corporate hooey. 

Here's today's most gushing example of pointless pink guff...

Though hilariously later today they ran this piece about why it really matters...

Facebook has denied that it was tracking people for an experiment or test, and that any information gathered would not be used for serving ads, but did not seem to say that it wasn’t tracking which people were using the tool.

“This was not an experiment or test, but rather something that enables people to show their support of the LGBTQ community on Facebook,” it told numerous news sources. “We aren’t going to use this as a way to target ads and the point of this tool is not to get information about people.”

And if you believe that...

Update: And on Wednesday lucky Independent readers were treated to a history of the rainbow flag. Wooh!

Nicky Morgan: How Thick?

The Education Secretary, Nicky Morgan, has said that children who hold homophobic views should be considered at greater risk of becoming radicalised.

Speaking as schools in England and Wales were issued with a guide on how to spot pupils in danger of radicalisation, Ms Morgan said attacking core British values or being extremely intolerant of homosexuality were examples of behaviour that could raise the alarm.

Ms Morgan, who twice voted against gay marriage in 2013 before being made minister for Equalities the following year, told BBC Radio 4's Today programme: "Radicalisation or the risk of children being drawn into non-violent extremism is a very real threat in this country." ...

Asked to come up with an example of behaviour that might be a cause for concern, she said: "Sadly, Isis are extremely intolerant of homosexuality."

This simpleton is in charge of the nation's education.

I'll just leave that awhile to sink in...

PS Government policy will seal the mouths of Muslim pupils, Owen Jones.

According to the education secretary, Nicky Morgan, homophobia could be investigated as a sign of extremism. As a gay man, I want homophobia to be taken seriously, and think children should be educated about prejudice as early as is feasible. But negative views about LGBT people will not be confronted if children shut down any discussion out of fear of being labelled a potential terrorist. Morgan herself originally opposed and voted against equal marriage: could those much younger than her come under suspicion if they are Muslims?

Twitterspat Of The Day: Owen Jones Vs Rob Lowe

Obviously Fagburn is with our Owen on the Grexit thingy.

Though Behind The Candleabra was ever so good.

Seems OJ only likes Rob's early work, when he was young and hot...

PS Pls follow Owen Jones on Twitter. Wish I could, but she blocked me. :(

PPS The last word?

PPPS Technically this happened yesterday, so don't write in.

Pride Of Place: Stately Homos Of England

Raid on fancy dress ball, Temperance Hall, Manchester, 1880.
We are teaming up with Leeds Beckett University and experts nationwide to explore and celebrate the relationship between lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) history and the country's historic buildings and spaces.

The project aims to show that LGBTQ heritage is a fundamental and fascinating part of our national heritage. It will also improve knowledge of, and access to, this history through images, archive materials and stories that focus on the huge range of places and spaces lived, loved, worked and played in by LGBTQ people through the centuries.

The researchers will work with community groups, LGBTQ advisory groups and the general public, using crowd-sourcing as a technique for people across England to name important 'queer' buildings and places.

Plot your own LGBTQ heritage places on our interactive map and see what buildings and landscapes others are remembering...

Through the Generations
Ten LGBTQ buildings with a fascinating past.

My Pride of Place
We asked celebrities and campaigners to tell us what their Pride of Place is.

Lady Gaga: How Thick?

Gaga shared a photo on Instagram Sunday from the balcony of her Chicago apartment overlooking what appears to be a huge gathering of people down below.

“Watching over Chicago Pride from my apartment and smiling so big,” the “Born This Way” singer, 29, wrote. “So many happy people. Happy pride!”

In the image, Gaga goes shirtless, instead bearing the words “Gay Pride” across her chest and stomach.

The issue? The singer wasn’t anywhere near the city’s pride parade. The gathering was in fact the Chicago Mariachi and Folklórico Festival.

The event, honoring the Mexican folk music, was held at the recognizable Jay Pritzker Pavilion at Millennium Park.

The parade, however, took over the city’s Uptown and Lakeview neighborhoods...


Magic Mike XXL: 'A Shrine To Channing Tatum'

The bonds between the male performers give it the soap-operatic feel of an XY-chromosome Steel Magnolias. As such, it may be either the gayest straight film ever made, or the straightest gay one. And it doesn't care either way. When the team – now simply dubbed 'Resurrection' – get on stage to strut their stuff, they do so with equal, backslapping oomph whether it’s a drag-revue bar, where they’re queening it up with Carmen Miranda-style fruit hats, or in the nominally hetero context of the all-clapping, all-screaming, all-female finale. The name of the game, the gold somewhere over their rainbow, is a “tsunami of dollar bills”...

Tim Robey gets a bit hot and bothered reviewing Magic Mike XXL for the Daily Telegraph.

Somewhat unusually, our Tim begins by reviewing the 'teaser trailer', which he seemed rather taken with, watch it here.

PS Here's Magic Mike - The Honest Trailer for the LOLZ!

Und! Here's the great J Bryan Lowder on the fillum's 'perfectly sculpted gay pandering'.

Monday, 29 June 2015

Meme Of The Week: Norway Police Summer Uniform

This pic went viral over the weekend.

Phwoar! Hot cops!! I'm getting the next flight!!! Sure they're not OF FINLAND?? Arrest me officer and assault me with your nightstick!!! etc etc.

Sorry homo fetishists of state power, it was soon revealed to have been rather heavily Photoshopped from this more humdrum reality...

Pride: Owen Jones' Verdict

The LGBT movement was once about protest and struggle, winning many of the rights people have today. But, says Owen Jones, it's become a convenient way for dodgy corporations to 'pinkwash' their reputations – and there's a complacency that all the battles have been won. Is it time to put the politics back into LGBT?


PS No irony that the Guardian are telling big business about the benefits of backing gay rights. Sponsored content etc... Maybe Owen could give a Guardian Masterclass?

Guardian star writers are forced to do these videos. Some look uncomfortable. Not our Owen, who'd probably happily take a walk-on part in a Cheeky Girls comeback video.

Putting On The Dish: A Short Film In Your Actual Polari

Putting on the Dish from Brian and Karl on Vimeo.

This amused me.

Thanks to Brian & Karl. x

PS I've asked them if they can do a subtitled version for the youngsters.

The Advocate: What Is Point?

The landscape for American LGBT activists changed forever on Friday. Now that we have marriage equality secured nationwide, some organizations carrying that banner are closing up shop.

"Freedom to Marry was created as a campaign to drive a needed strategy to attain a specific big goal. And today we achieved our goal," Freedom to Marry president and founder Evan Wolfson told The Advocate Friday. Over the next several months, the campaign he's helmed for more than a decade will "have a smart, strategic wind-down, to capture the lessons learned" and apply them moving forward.

"The work of this campaign is over," adds Wolfson, an out attorney who argued one of the country's first same-sex marriage cases, out of Hawaii in the 1990s. "But the work of this movement is far from over."

While the closure of some organizations with a singular focus seems a happy inevitability in our new reality, some of us inside the movement are facing more existential questions. As part of a movement that has been laser-focused on marriage equality for so long, what is the role of the nation's longest-running LGBT publication once that hard-fought victory is won? ...

Spoiler alert: They decide that it still is, cause there's other things to write about than gaymarriage!

Hot Cop: Good Cop/Bad Cop

All gay media have been drooling over this video of a 'hot cop' dancing at New York Pride.

Coz the hired goons of the state are our sexy fun friends.

Hope he didn't go and arrest a Latina trans migrant worker straight after.

Or shoot an unarmed black man.

PS How the fuck did Pride become all about the police? Why do queens think this validates them?

Turkish Pride: Every Cloud...

Police in Turkey have been left red-faced after their attempts to block a Pride parade helped to celebrate the occasion.

The officers were using water cannon to clear the peaceful parade in Istanbul when the water droplets caught the sunlight and branched across the sky in a rainbow.

Pride across the world uses a rainbow as its representative colours, on flags and more, giving a clear association with the LGBT community...

Most of the Western media were baffled as to why they were attacked - usually settling for 'Dunno, something about Ramadan?'

But a reporter for AFP News said; 'Police took action against the crowd when demonstrators began shouting slogans accusing the social conservative President Recep Tayyip Erdogan of "fascism".'

PS Barclays - sponsor of Pride In London. Investor in Raytheon and General Dynamics, makers of arms and 'civil defense' stuff. Big in Turkey...

Update: Please see Paul Canning's blogpost on this; New LGBT Muslim Heroes.

Sunday, 28 June 2015

Pride: Masked Balls

Textbook stuff from The Observer's photogallery on the straight media's visual cliches when 'representing' pride events.

The above is ideal for the online front page - or the print edition; because most importantly the participant (or 'reveller'!) should ideally be disguised. Though assuming someone on the parade might not be out is a just little bit out-dated, and rather goes against the whole point of gay pride.

A man in drag is usually the go-to gay for this - and they're so funny and colourful and fabulous, aren't they? Well, I guess they are to some straight people, though to most gay men they just make you think of being stuck in a really naff bar on a Tuesday night.

Anyway, this glittery bloke wearing a SODDING RAINBOW MASK is a double-whammy!

There's lots of drag, concealed faces and rainbows in the Telegraph's gallery, though I tip my pink cowboy hat to the picture editor who slipped this one in.

PS Oops! Most British newspapers used the same set of photos as both the above did from Getty Images - here's Mail Online. And The Independent. The Mirror. The Sun. Oh, and BBC News and Channel 4 News.

They all loved this one - make of this what thou will.

There are a few other things in the Sunday papers about Pride and gaymarriage etc, but I'm all fagged out to be honest. x

Stonewall: A Lesson From History

The Stonewall Riots began on the morning of June 28th 1969.

That was quite a long time ago, which means it's okay to celebrate it as an empty icon.

It's even fetishised now by those who would have condemned it at the time.

History allows people to laud past events we no longer have to take sides over - at least in any meaningful sense.

See also Pride - The Movie.

Ivan Massow Watch: Hello!?

The nursery is painted pristine white and a simple cream-coloured cot sits waiting in a corner. ‘I suppose it really should be blue, now we know it’s a boy,’ says the anxious father-to-be. ‘But I’ve left all that up to the mother.’

He has dutifully attended hospital scans and antenatal classes and plans to be in the delivery room for the birth of his first child next month.

Nothing extraordinary here, you might think. But this is hardly your typical expectant dad. This is Ivan Massow, multi-millionaire gay political activist and prospective Tory candidate for Mayor of London next year...

From a predictably positively glowing at-home-with profile in The Mail On Sunday.

Ivan Massow - the smug grinning twatface of heteronormative gay conformity today.

Note how his main pitch to be mayor is; ‘I’m not your typical politician. I take the Tube.'

ie He is so out of touch he thinks ordinary Londoners will be impressed that he (sometimes) uses the tube.

Mind you, everyone knows he travels everywhere on horseback.

Go on parrot, do your stuff!

Saturday, 27 June 2015

Pride In London: Infiltrated by ISIS!!!


PS Watch her original CNN report on the sinister Islamist dildo flag here - hilarious!

Update: Soon got bored flaccid with this story. The endless tittering on Twitter etc just reminded me what a joyless, sexless infantile culture we inhabit.

And as for certain journalists and media outlets larfing at another journalist fucking up...

Update2: Richard Littlejohn uses this as a springboard to go into a baffling rant about the 'ayatollahs of homosexuality'.

Pride In London: The Day In One Photo

At the start of the march parade a man is wrestled to the ground by police - assisted by Pride stewards - and arrested for shouting at the contingent from Barclays about their company's tax avoidance.

Other stewards and security tried to stop people and media from taking photos.

Barclays were a main sponsor of Pride In London and led the parade today - the spot had been offered to Lesbians And Gays Support The Miners, but they were later pushed further to the back.

* Photo by Jules Mattsson. x

Edit: The Sunday Mirror has mobile phone footage of the end of his 'altercation' with the police [Edit: Oops! Jules Mattsson took it]. He gets a little more, shall we say, 'rowdy' than I thought. Hmm...

Here's a nice picture of a jolly copper showing how much he loves the gays in case there's any confusion...

Friday, 26 June 2015

Sweet Freedom: Deckchairs On Titanic Now Open To All

Thought For The Day: Chelsea Manning

I worry that, with full marriage equality, much of the queer community will be left wondering how else to engage with a society that still wants to define who we are – and who in our community will be left to push for full equality for all transgender and queer people, now that this one fight has been won. I fear that our precious movements for social justice and all the remarkable advancements we have made are now vulnerable to being taken over by monied people and institutions, and that those of us for whom same-sex marriage rights brings no equality will be slowly erased from our movement and our history...

We need to send a powerful message to the world in a unified voice: that we can fight for social justice for everyone, everywhere and change the world, not just get married. We can continue to build our communities and address the root causes of queer and trans poverty and deaths. We can work to get queer and trans people out of the prisons and jails and off the streets, and to improve our access to housing, education, employment and gender-confirming healthcare...

Same-sex marriage isn't equality for all LGBT people. Our movement can't end, Chelsea Manning, Guardian Unlimited.

Actual thing on Twitter today LOL!

Made-Up Word Of The Month: Stromo

Channing Tatum, Nick Jonas, Chris Hemsworth and others have moved beyond metrosexual. Think of these stars as "straight" plus "homo" — modern, lady-loving male actors who amp up their appeal to gay audiences for pride and profit.

This intro to the article tells you all there you to know - and all that Merle has to say.

Of course, none of this is new - and nor is saying that it's happening.

But if you can make-up a new word for something, then we can all make-believe it's 'a thing'.

PS Anyone for 'journotease'?

Thanks to Darren. x

Bors: Everybody Loves This Ruling

Matt Bors @ The Nib.

USA Today: Landmark SCOTUS Ruling

WASHINGTON—Following the Supreme Court’s landmark decision making same-sex marriage legal nationwide, sources confirmed Friday that only 47,000 social justice milestones need to be reached before the U.S. achieves full equality. “This is a watershed moment for civil rights that finally brings the dream of living in an equitable society one tiny fraction of a step closer to reality,” said civil rights lawyer Helene Najjar, adding that the country could now turn its attention to closing the income gap, ending racial discrimination in law enforcement, and providing equal educational opportunities for all children, among tens of thousands of other issues. “We have been striving for this victory for decades, and we will continue to fight for a more just society until we have reached all 47,000 human rights milestones that still need to be achieved. This win proves that we are inching toward living in a nation in which we have equal rights for transgender people, people of color, people with disabilities, people living in poverty, women, immigrants, and countless other marginalized groups.” Experts confirmed that even with the Supreme Court’s ruling, the U.S. would still need to achieve 8,000 more milestones before gays could be considered fully equal.

Yes, of course this is important, and Fagburn's as pleased as anyone, but, you know, other stuff...

PS And a big thank you to Satan for making it all happen. x

David Coburn: You Can't Get More Gay Than Me

Politics Home.

Not sure if calling him 'Cowburn' is an innocent mistake or a cruel jibe.

PS If you can bear to watch...

Spectator: And On That Bombshell!

Blah blah blah Pride Ukip Miners gay marriage Stonewall Green Party Israel Tatchell Muslims wibble...

The Spectator.

PS For reasons of balance here's an article from the Morning Star Resisting the rise of pink capitalism.

Thursday, 25 June 2015

Patrick Macnee: 1922-2015

Avenger, James Bond baddie, naturist, gent, but Fagburn likes to remember him for this...

Tweets Of The Day: George Michael

Happy birthday George. x

PS The Sun can do one!

Attitude: 21

Attitude is celebrating its 21st birthday.

Editing a mainstream gay magazine must be an absolute nightmare for anyone with any principles, there's an interview with Matthew Todd here.

President Obama: All Hail To The Chief?

A transgender woman who interrupted President Obama during today's White House East Room reception to mark LGBT Pride month was quickly dispatched by a stern, then jovial commander in chief, who told the immigration demonstrator, “You’re in my house” and “shame on you".

The protester, Jennicet Gutiérrez, is a transgender woman and undocumented immigrant, affiliated with the Not1MoreCampaign, which opposes the Obama adminstration’s deportation policies. She recently participated in a demonstration in Santa Ana, Calif., calling for the release of several trans women currently being held at the Immigrations and Custom Enforcement facility.

At the White House today, she called for an end to the deportation of LGBT immigrants, interrupting the president just moments after he began his 15-minute address.

Speaking to The Advocate by phone from Washington, D.C., Gutiérrez, a 29-year-old trans woman who lives in Los Angeles, said her outburst was unplanned when she initially attended the White House Pride reception with a spare ticket offered to her by a friend.

"[Obama] came out, started speaking and started to get into his speech on how wonderful everything is," Gutiérrez says. "And I couldn’t help but think about the conditions that my LGBTQ Latino/Latina, especially trans women of color, are facing in detention. So, to me, that was the moment I had to speak up. I had to raise awareness to the President and to everyone else watching that I’m not just going to celebrate, when my trans sisters are facing a lot of violence in the detention centers. [Trans women are facing] sexual and physical abuse, and I just had to send a message."

Gutiérrez was escorted from the East Room by Secret Service officers, and tells The Advocate she informed them of her immigration status.

"It was a moment where you just don’t know how to react," recalls Gutiérrez. "Because I openly disclosed my identity and everything, and it was just an awkward vibe."

But it was the crowd gathered at the White House for Pride that most frustrated Gutiérrez.

"I’m just very disappointed with the way it was handled," she tells The Advocate. "I'm part of the LGBT community, and they didn't back me, instead they were booing, which to me was like a slap in the face to all these people in detention centers." ...

The only media I've seen - gay or straight - that talked to Gutiérrez and asked what she was angry about.

Queerty couldn't even be bothered to mention it.

Update: The one thing nobody's saying about Obama's latest White House heckler, Mic News contains a statement from Gutiérrez, several media ran pieces based on this and The Advocate interview. How the White House heckler exposed a rift in the gay-rights community, Jorge Rivas, Fusion.

Lady Gaga: Useful Idiot

Lady Gaga got some breathless media praise for singing Imagine at the opening ceremony of the European Games in Azerbaijan.

Weird how that praise only started getting published on June 16th though, given that the opening ceremony actually took place on the 12th.

And doubly weird how all the showbiz news outlets had exactly the same reaction. Hers was a "stunning version", which would "give you chills".

MTV - "Stunning... chills"
Mashable - "Stunning"
Buzzfeed - "Chills"
News Cult "Stunning"
Zimbio - "Stunning"
Eonline - "Chill-inducing"

You'd almost think PRs for Gaga and Azerbaijan were so keen for people to gloss over the human rights issues being raised by the games that they sent out a press release to people they knew would just rehash their words without any question or comment, wouldn't you?


PS Tony Blair Azerbaijan PR guy.

Russia: Our Propaganda And Theirs

Guardian online.

Or rather an online section about Eastern Europe and Russia, New East Network, that seems to be separate from the newspaper and produced 'in partnership'.

Hilariously this article was first published by the US-backed propaganda media group, Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty, a CIA creation.

Many others have similar origins.

Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Hillary Clinton: Vote For Me! Vote Barf!

Who's excited about Hillary's candidacy? The Israel lobby, Wall Street, Warmongers and Neo-Cons - Glenn Greenwald.

But never mind that, she sure loves them (middle class and married) gays!

The gay media's blinkered adoration of this woman is pathetic.

PS Democratic candidate Bernie Sanders however is not a complete corporate stooge.

Rainbow Flag Watch: Slight Over-Reaction

From the insanely right-wing Breitbart.

Pride: So It's Come To This

Michael Salter is now making the bizarre claim that one million people will witness Pride In London (and the London Eye and Wembley Arch will be lit up in the colours of the rainbow!)

Can someone please stop this insanity!

Daily Mail: Allegedly

Said under parliamentary privilege!

Fagburn takes these 'VIP paedophile ring' stories as seriously as he does ones about alien abductions.

Thought For The Day: Graham Norton

“You have your own rules as you get older. I would prefer to live alone for the rest of my life rather than live with towels that were folded incorrectly.

"Petty is important. That’s why marriages break up. Marriages don’t break up because of big things.

“The older you get, the less right you have to be fussy and yet the older you get the fussier you become, so oddly when your standards should be dropping you find them getting higher. You see younger friends starting relationships and you know how that story ends. You just sit there and wait for the end.

“When you’re young if you meet a partner and they’re cheating on someone to be with you but then they go with you, you think: ‘That’s great.’

“But of course as older people we know they then cheat on you.

“So I’m careful. Why do you want to be heartbroken again because if you keep being heartbroken you’re a moron.”


See the happy moron
He doesn't give a damn
I wish I was a moron
My god, perhaps I am!

Dorothy Parker, arguably.

Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Don Featherstone: 1936-2015

The inventor of the Pink Flamingo!

And yes, reader, he did get married.

STI Condoms: Not Coming Soon

A condom that changes colour when it comes into contact with sexually transmitted infections has been invented by a group of school children.

The 'S.T.EYE' has a built-in indicator to detect infections such as chlamydia and syphilis, turning a different colour depending on the strain of bacteria present.

It is the brainchild Daanyaal Ali, 14, Muaz Nawaz, 13 and Chirag Shah, 14, pupils at Isaac Newton Academy in Ilford, Essex, who wanted to "make detecting harmful STIs safer than ever before" without the need for invasive tests.

You may think awkward post-coital silences are common enough as it is - but the group's ingenuity has been recognised with an award, the TeenTech gong for best health innovation...

This went global.

It's 'an idea', 'a concept' - ie it doesn't exist. 

Russia: Far-Right Racist Publicity-Seeking Twat Arrested

And just as he wanted to be...

His millionaire boyfriend will pay it off.

On the noted anti-semites very dodgy ideology.

We must overcome these fascist stunts.