Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Davy Jones: 1945-2012

"Whenever I think of the Monkees, it's a sunny morning, the brightest colours, and David Jones's eyes. Their music is perfect, as perfect as pop could ever be. Last Train to Clarksville has been written, and we are left with our own imperfection."

Robert Forster, The Go-Betweens

All Rock 'N' Roll Is Homosexual: Fings Ain't Wot They Used To Be

Alexis Petridis writes in The Guardian today about how Rock music has become far too heterosexual of late, and thus, as Jon Savage points out; "it's all so dreary."
Too true.
Petridis and Savage - two of Fagburn's favourite music writers - are talking about the endlessly fascinating subject of gay men and popular music at the South Bank Centre this evening.
The title of the talk, All Rock 'N' Roll Is Homosexual, is taken from an old Manic Street Preachers slogan* - Mr Nicky Wire will also be in attendance.
Though Nicky's brother and occasional collaborator, the poet Patrick Jones, would have been just as illuminating a contributor.
If you ask me.
There are some headbangingly stupid comments after Alexis' feature, but same as it ever was.
My favourite?
"Another agenda to hi-jack what was essentially family friendly entertainment. Stop re-writing history to further your minority views."
So think on, Jon Savage, think on...

* I have an unpublished meditation on what this means by Richey Manic, by the way.

Ann Widdecombe: She Never Married

You can almost hear Ann Widdecombe's brain creaking into action in her column in The Daily Express.
Today Ms Widdecombe is sharing her quarter-baked thoughts on gay marriage - yes, again.
She argues that Lynne Featherstone, the Equalities Minister, is trying to set up a false dichotomy,  suggesting that the only folk opposed to gay marriage are those of a religious persuasion.
"I know gays who oppose this measure – as does Christopher Biggins – and one can hardly call them homophobic."
Well, thankfully there are plenty of other things one can call Christopher Biggins. 
Undaunted by logic, she goes on; "People who never go inside a church from one year to the next oppose it. Some of those who spoke out in favour of civil partnerships oppose it. Writers on Left-wing newspapers oppose it."
Yes, ok, some do, but for entirely different reasons to you.
And are they opposed to the concept of gay-straight equality, as so clearly are you? 
Time for some insanely over-the-top hyperbole, methinks.
"So as this is the most fundamental change to society in centuries..." - that line is so funny you may enjoy reading it again - "let David Cameron ask the people what they want. If he insists on pushing ahead then I challenge him to hold a referendum."
Apart from the fact we'd win, there's a slight flaw in your plan, Ann.
One of the main points of parliamentary democracy is to protect minorities from the tyranny of the majority.
And to protect the rights of people like me from nasty old bigots like you.

Richard Carpenter: 1933-2012

Catweazle, The Boy From Space, The Adventures Of Black Beauty, Cloud Burst, The Ghosts Of Motley Hall, Dick Turpin...
The greatest childrens' TV writer of all time.
Thank you for making my childhood full of wonder.

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Simon Hughes: What's The Story?

Much of the initial online coverage of Simon Hughes' appearance before the Leveson Inquiry has got the story arse-over-tit, using variations on the headline:
'Simon Hughes: The Sun used phone records to force me to come out'
Though obviously highly relevant to Leveson, this is hardly news.
It was known from the start that Simon Hughes had only "come out" because The Sun told him - blackmailed him, really - that they had phone records which showed that he'd phoned a gay chatline.
The Sun's front page story is missing from their online archive, but here's the interview with Trevor Kavanagh:
Hughes: I've had gay sex' "As Mr Hughes opened his heart during the interview he also admitted phoning a gay chat service Man Talk."
The Independent commented the following day; "It was the revelation that The Sun had learnt he had phoned a gay chat service - Man Talk - that finally persuaded Mr Hughes..."
The real story today was something completely different.
It is that the Met were clearly aware at the time of Simon Hughes' outing that News International journalists were regularly illegally tapping into peoples' phones.
And that, rather than prosecute, they covered this up for five years.

Here is the Simon Hughes' Leveson transcript.

Leveson Inquiry: Simon Hughes

"Meanwhile, in a separate development, it has emerged that the Metropolitan Police lent ex-News of the World editor Rebekah Brooks a horse in 2008..."

After this everyone suddenly forgot all about poor Mr Hughes...

David Hockney: Still Smokin'

A Mr David Hockney from East Bridlington, Yorkshire has sent a letter to The Guardian.
It is actually a drawing he's done on his iPad.
The "letter" is about smoking.
I thought he lived in Bridlington, East Yorkshire, though...

Daily Mail: From The Message Boards

'Photo Of Gay US Marine Leaping Into Boyfriend's Arms Goes Viral'
The Daily Mail.

A selection of Mail readers' comments online:

You'd never see a Royal Marine acting in this manner.
- Jo Bee, Ecosse

Gordon Bennett, give me strength.
- Fireball XL5, Lostinspace

This is not your fathers military anymore. Thanks Obama.
- Jon, Cheyenne, Wy

- Anon, UK

The Afghans are going to have a field day.
- Sam, London

Would not want him behind me in a tight corner, he wants to try that on the taliban
- tom, west mids

What is it about seeing two men kissing that always makes you feel uncomfortable?
- John, London

This just shows how sick life is getting.
- stan white, leeds

The lord will strike them DOWN
- Pinky, Strathclyde

God help us if there's a war!
- Edna Welthorpe (Mrs), London N1

• I should stress most comments are positive (and the last one above was me)... 

Update: The Sun ran this story on Tuesday, as I type there are close to 100 comments, nothing really homophobic, a few men say they just don't like any public displays of affection, regardless if they're by straight or gay couples. Most common comment - and general consensus - "Good for them!" 
Good for them.

Rudi van Dantzig: 1933-2012

Dancer, choreographer, director of the Dutch National Ballet, author - most famously of the autobiographical For A Lost Soldier.
Guardian obituary

Occupy London: Evenin' All

Some police officers getting ready to do a nice bit of peaceful evicting.
I wonder why they're doing it at night.
And why they've turned the St Paul's floodlights off. 
Because the starlight's so romantic?

Update: Ronan from Queer Resistance is interviewed during the eviction for BBC World Service's The World Today and discusses what happens next for the movement. 

Update2: And then with perfect timing the next morning; "Barclays Bank has been ordered by the Treasury to pay half-a-billion pounds in tax which it had tried to avoid" BBC News.

Monday, 27 February 2012

Tom Daley: Now Available In Wax

Madame Tussauds in that London unveiled their waxwork of Tom Daley today.
Not the greatest of timing following all that hoo-ha last week about him spending too much time on media stuff and not enough on the training, but what the hey... *
Poor young Tommy didn't turn up for the grand unveiling. 
"One of the most dramatic figures ever to feature at our attraction, Daley is captured in mid-dive as he soars from the diving board towards the water. The high impact figure is suspended at a height of four metres in a specially designed aquatic set and guests can literally walk right underneath as Daley is frozen in action...."
I wonder if they sell them in the gift shop?

PS There's an enchanting video about the making of the model here - but I can't embed it cause YouTube's playing silly buggers today.
Update: They've introduced new embed codes - that don't work...

* There's a lengthy - and quite moving - statement about the media row from Tom, issued via his management here.
And a supportive piece from the Sunday Mirror 'Criticism Only Adding To The Weight On Daley's Shoulders'.
Something tells me the Sexy And I Know It video was the breaking point. 
Poor Tom.

The Magnetic Fields: Love At The Bottom Of The Sea

You can hear an album stream thingy on the Guardian Music Blog.
Woop woop!

Local News: Exciting!

Daily Telegraph: Bobbins Headline Of The Day

'Why Should Gays Get Special Treatment?'

This is the title to an unthink piece in the Telegraph by Cristina Odone.
She's one of their main columnists, and a former editor of The Catholic Herald.
Erm, how on earth is asking for equality wanting "special treatment"?
How does that work exactly?
I presume the picture editor was mocking her by accompanying it with the above photo.
And if anyone can figure out what in the name of Jupiter she's trying to argue in the article, then please, please, please drop me a line. 
Odone and the rest of the anti-gay marriage brigade have a top celebrity supporter who gave a speech over the weekend that repeated many of their favourite cliches; "Centuries of tradition... one of the main building blocks of society... it's in the Bible... won't somebody please think of the children!"
Yes, Robert Mugabe - come on down!
Here's a report from yesterday's Mail On Sunday about Mugabe's "rambling anti-homosexual rant" at his fun-packed 88th birthday do.
The article is very critical of the old dude, which is strange cause the Daily Mail usually gives oddballs who make rambling anti-homosexual rants their own column.
Is it cause he is black?

  Coalition For Equal Marriage petition and rinky dink website.

Matt Lucas: Please Accept Our Sincerest Hypocrisy

'Little Britain star Matt Lucas quits Twitter over dead lover taunts' - The Daily Mail

"LITTLE Britain star Matt Lucas has quit Twitter after a sicko taunted him about his ex-lover’s suicide..." - The Daily Star

This is presumably the same Matt Lucas who has successfully sued both The Daily Mail and The Daily Star over malicious and false stories they wrote after the suicide of his civil partner Kevin McGee...

Sunday, 26 February 2012

Oscars Night: And The Winners Weren't...

To celebrate some big important film awards thingy going on tonight, The Advocate draws up a shortlist of some of "the scariest and darkest portrayals of LGBT life" from the talkies.
Not that there's anything with that etc.
Fagburn loves a lot of these fillums - The Killing Of Sister George and The Boys In The Band especially.
And what no Cruising or Nighthawks?
We was robbed!

Update: Congratulations to Christopher Plummer on winning Best Supporting Actor for Beginners.
Though a straight actor playing gay often proves to be OSCAR GOLD.
So brave etc...

Stuart Andrews MP: Butt

The Mail On Sunday leads with an interview with Stuart Andrews - "The gay Tory MP allegedly head-butted by a Labour politician has spoken for the first time of his harrowing ordeal in a Commons bar brawl" - which they flag as an "Exclusive".
It's a literally blow-by-butt account of the alleged attack by Eric Joyce MP.
The Mail keep bringing up Andrews' sexuality, admittedly usually in quite a matter-of-fact manner.
But note how Chris Bryant - the gay Labour MP - didn't mention it once when he wrote about the incident in his column in Saturday's Independent.
The Mail tells us;
'It was the first time he had been involved in violence since he was beaten up for being homosexual 15 years ago. 'I was the victim of a queer bashing...
"'I was walking home and knocked unconscious by three men who abused me for being gay and a Tory. My father chased them off and got a fractured skull.'"
And most touchingly we learn;
"Earlier Mr Andrew had dined with David Cameron. They discussed Mr Andrew's visit to the Eurovision Song Contest in Latvia with his partner, and the MP's and Prime Minister's mutual love of the Gavin And Stacey television comedy."
And is the reader meant to read anything into this bizarro line?
"According to one account, at around 9pm, Mr Joyce was dancing the 'Gay Gordons' with two women on the terrace."
Were the observers really that expert at identifying specific Scottish country dances?
Are the Mail suggesting this may have been an anti-gay slur expressed through the medium of dance?"
Later in the article we get a clarification;
"It was the first time he had been involved in violence since a homophobic attack in 1997 – though there is no suggestion that anything similar was involved in Wednesday's incident."
Interesting to see at the end a credit "Additional reporting - Tony Grew."
Grew is a former editor of Pink News, and the best journalist they've ever had by a mile or two million - he's now Parliamentary Editor/Editor at epolitix.
"Additional reporting" is often a press euphemism for "we took some of this from something written by someone else".
I wonder what it means here.

Sunday Express: Gay Panic (Continued)

"SCHOOLS will be forced to teach children as young as five the importance of gay marriage.
"Teachers who refuse because of their religious beliefs could face disciplinary action..."

Sunday Express.

They will!!?
Who told you this?
Ah, a Tory MP, Peter Bone, a very vocal supporter of the bigots at Coalition For Marriage.
He's part of the far-right Conservative cabal - based around the Cornerstone Group * - who are unbelievably opposed to letting perverts marry
Bone can always be relied on a for a mean-spirited anti-gay quote.
He tells the Express;
"If marriage is redefined, schools will have no choice but to give children equivalent teaching on same-sex marriage, even those of a very young age.
“Parents who object will be treated as bigots and outcasts.
“And what of the teachers who object to teaching about same sex marriage. Will they face disciplinary action?"
Which is a such a work of ridiculous scaremongering fiction one wonders why he stopped there?
Why not tell the Express that teachers will be forced to make little kiddies watch hardcore gay porn - on pain of death?
Oh, and by the way Coalition For Marriage, only 36,000 people have signed your online petition against gay marriage.

* There's another bobbins group of bigots, Christians In Parliament, who've just published a report on the persecution of those poor little Christian folk. *makes sad face*

Disco: No Longer Sucks - Official

"Disco's globe-conquering presence by the late 70s even meant the world's first openly, make that brazenly and fabulously, gay pop star – the late great Sylvester – could graduate out of San Francisco's drag ghettos and chart a private jet to the most exclusive stages of the world. Mighty real, indeed. The message of love had spread out of New York's underground clubs and everyone from Abigail in Romford with a glass of Blue Nun in one hand and a Donna Summer 12-inch in the other to a little gay boy growing up in Devon dancing to Diana Ross was bathing in the refracted glitterball glow. Even as the songs sold in their millions, the original core message was always there: disco's pansexual spiritual call to arms of unity ("We Are Family"), empowerment ("I Will Survive") and sheer sexual liberation ("I Feel Love")..."

Fagburn very much enjoyed this piece in The Observer by Adam Mattera on Disco, zooming in on its debt to - and contribution to - gay culture.
The hook is BBC4 broadcasting The Joy Of Disco on Friday.
Blurb! "Documentary about how a much-derided music actually changed the world. Between 1969 and 1979 disco soundtracked gay liberation, foregrounded female desire in the age of feminism and led to the birth of modern club culture as we know it today, before taking the world by storm."
BBC4's music documentaries are usually first-rate - Fagburn hopes they do Disco similar justice.

The Sun Sunday: No More Mr Nasty Guy?

The first edition of The Sun Sunday boldly declares; "Welcome to a new dawn".
A puff piece, like much of the pre-publicity, tries to reassure the world that this will be a kindler, gentler newspaper.
"Honesty... decency... blah blah blah" - they've even got rid of Page Three.
It sets out its stall with a first cover story that's a squish-squish celebrity "human interest" about Amanda Holden - and they got it by talking to the TV star, not tapping her phone!
But didn't its predecessor the News of the World become Britain's biggest selling newspaper because a lot of people liked its naughtiness and nastiness?
It made the staple fare of a Sunday tabloid sensation, sex and scandal - and I'm sure most readers knew its biggest scoops were often obtained through nefarious, if not criminal, means, and were more than happy to collude in this.
One wonders how long The Sun Sunday will keep up this nice guy act.
What if readers actually wanted the News of the World Mark II?
I bet the editor is secretly fuming that post Hackgate and so close to the Leveson Inquiry he can't indulge in some old school skullduggery and get a really juicy, nasty "scoop".

PS Its "stunning line-up of new columnists" include Katie Price, Heston Blumenthal (inexplicably), the increasingly unbearable Neo-Tory, Toby Young and... The Archbishop of York!
Yes, the one who was all over the papers the other week going on about how he opposed gay marriage.
It's quite baffling.
I did try and warn you he's a publicity barking mad media whore, and will do anything to get his name in the papers.
Still, good to know the kinder, gentler Sun Sunday has hired the queerbasher du jour.

Saturday, 25 February 2012

Dolce & Gabbana: No FT, No Sex

“The worst time for us was when we broke up but kept working together,” says Gabbana. “We thought about splitting up, but no. And the truth is, everything is exactly the same. But no sex!”

“No sex,” agrees Dolce.

“I can’t work without him,” says Gabbana. “Maybe one day there will be a Dolce collection and a Gabbana collection – ”

“No. Never,” says Dolce. “This is my destiny.”

“Never say never,” scolds Gabbana.

FT Weekend take Dolce and Gabbana for lunch.
There's next to no gay coverage in the Financial Times - it's mostly outside their main remit of writing about economics and business news - but they do love Teh Gays over at FT Weekend magazine, I must say.

Marriage: The Queen's Speech

"This Government is promoting a fair society where people respect each other.
"I believe that if a couple love each other and want to commit to a life together, they should have the option of a civil marriage, irrespective of whether they are gay or straight. We are not changing religious marriage, or requiring religious groups to go against their traditions."

Lynne Featherstone, the Equalities Minister and Lib Dem MP, speaking to The Independent.
The paper speculates; "There will now be a furious battle ahead of this spring's Queen's Speech, in which proposals could be announced, with the aim of the first gay weddings taking place by 2015 at the latest."
I wouldn't hold your breath - though it would be fun to see if the Queen mentions gay marriage in her speech.
Featherstone has also written a piece for the Daily Telegraph (who are rather obsessed with this issue); 'This is not gay rights versus religious beliefs'.
"Who owns marriage? It’s an interesting question and a pressing one in the debate around equal civil marriage. It is owned by neither the state nor the church, as the former Archbishop Lord Carey rightly said. So it is owned by the people.
"The fierce debate over the past few weeks has shown people feel very strongly about marriage. Some believe the Government has no right to change it at all; they want to leave tradition alone. I want to challenge that view – it is the Government’s fundamental job to reflect society and to shape the future, not stay silent where it has the power to act and change things for the better..."
NB She mentions no possible timescale.
The Independent also - for reasons best known to themselves - quote Julian Clary; "Lord Carey's comments [opposing gay marriage] are very predictable. All these comments seems to come out of fear. In 10 years, when gay marriage is normal, we'll have forgotten all about this. He should have one of his pills and shut up."
There's a nutty piece by Amanda Patell in the Mail (natch) today on how Lord Carey and the Archbishop of York have been 'Vilified for daring to fight for marriage'.
And she actually points out that some of here best friends are "gays".
"I fear that Mr Cameron’s position is just another typically cynical exercise to try to rebrand the Tory Party.
"He is not driven by belief, but simply by an opportunistic attempt to spin himself as a modern, liberal kind of guy..."
At least she got that bit right - well, Platell did used to be a Tory spin doctor.

PS With its usual duplicity today's Mail also includes a glowing interview with Julian Clary where he talks about having thought about entering a civil partnership.
"Claridge’s would be an ideal setting. But we may change our minds. Sometimes when I think of a reception and speeches and referring to my husband, I don’t think I can face it."

Friday, 24 February 2012

David Cameron: We Will Bury You

I'm so bored with this government of couldn't care less millionaires
And their stupid hateful unworkable schemes
eg Get Britain Working (ie for free)
Atos, and A4 - fucking lower-case - e
If you're poor or you're sick they'll piss on you.
While the class war continues unseen.

But we will bury you
Just wait and see.

Eric Joyce MP: Strangers In The Night

'A LABOUR MP was charged with assault last night after allegedly head-butting a Tory while drunk in a House of Commons bar brawl.
'Cops who nicked Eric Joyce, 51, had to wait 13 hours for him to sober up for questioning.
'The Falkirk MP is said to have attacked Stuart Andrew, two other Conservative MPs and two Tory aides.
'Boozed-up Joyce allegedly sparked the brawl in the House of Commons after saying: "I'm fed up with this place — it's full of f****** Tories."
'The Scot is said to have flown into a violent rage at Conservative rivals while drinking in the Strangers' Bar, a popular Commons watering hole...' *

The Sun.
The more moronically parochial parts of the gay media have bigged up the fact that Stuart Andrews, the MP he allegedly headbutted, is gay.
There's no evidence this was a factor.
Eric Joyce presumably just hates f****** Tories full-stop.
Good for him, I say.
Who hasn't got drunk and wanted to hit a Tory?

* Last month Chris Bryant MP quipped that Strangers' Bar was "virtually a gay bar now".

Lady GaGa: Pretentious, Moi?

'For a while Gaga was the most exciting pop star on the planet. Then on ‘Born This Way’ she seemed to believe in her own hype, convinced that she had a message to share. Cue an album of unwieldy ‘anthems’ that couldn’t mask the fact the fun had left the building.
'Most Pretentious Moment: The German sung ‘ScheiBe’. Did electroclash die for this?'

NME names Born This Way as 'the most pretentious album ever'.
Baroness GaGa replied on Twitter;
'Oh the irony of winning "Most Pretentious Album Ever" from none other than NME. *eyeroll* I might laugh forever + then return to narcissism.'
Her fans went predictably batshit - here's a round-up of their best/worst tweets.
"The song "Born This Way" alone is the most meaningful song ever, made for every living and loving person on earth. NME didn't get it...need I say more?"
Probably best not to, love.

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Bradley Manning: 22 Charges

Announced today.
Including "aiding the enemy".
Presumably by releasing video footage of their children being shot and killed.

Update: Here's a report on the arraignment from Bradley Manning Support Network.
At its conclusion a man shouted; "Judge, isn’t a soldier required to report a war crime?”
There was no reply.

Alan Turing: Computer Love

'Alan Turing, born a century ago this year, is best known for his wartime code-breaking and for inventing the 'Turing machine' – the concept at the heart of every computer today. But his legacy extends much further: he founded the field of artificial intelligence, proposed a theory of biological pattern formation and speculated about the limits of computation in physics. In this collection of features and opinion pieces, Nature celebrates the mind that, in a handful of papers over a tragically short lifetime, shaped many of the hottest fields in science today.'

A special edition of boffins' mag Nature.
You can read a lot of it online here - which is nice, seeing as Alan basically invented the thing that let's you read things online.
It includes an essay on why we are only beginning to see the impact of Turing's influential work on morphogenesis.
Which sounds like fun.

Marriage: A Modest Proposal

"Here’s my answer: my submission to the commission on “gay marriage” that the Prime Minister has promised. Do as they’ve done in South Africa. Make the partnership that two people of either sex may enter the same in law, regardless of their sex.
"Then remove the word “marriage” altogether from legal language. Amend the statute book. Call it (say) “civil union” (as they do in South Africa). Call the ceremony bilateral amatory pledge trothing, or pledging, or registering or declaring — take your pick. Call the union itself what you like: and make this the word that the State uses for the institution that it defines, polices and protects.
"But then let every church, mosque or synagogue use the word “marriage” as their own faith enjoins, using it differently, as they already do. And let couples with civil unions call their unions whatever they wish: marriage, partnership, union, whatever. Language will sort itself out. Language always does..."

Matthew Parris, The Times.
Mr Parris is civilly partnered to James Glover, David Cameron's speech writer.
Although he didn't officially get the job until the following month, I suspect it was Glover who put in the section about gay marriage being a Conservative value into David Cameron's leadership speech to Conservative party conference.
And perhaps it was only added during the last-minute rewrite when Team Cameron removed a highly patronising section telling people to pay off their credit card bills.

Update: The Christian Institute are extremely happy that another gayer and intellectual heavyweight of the right, Christopher Biggins, has been on Loose Women and said he doesn't want gay marriage. Read their report and watch the clip here.
Mr Biggins is also in a civil partnership.
Silly old queen... 

Tom Daley Watch: Which I Started First So-Called "Attitude" Magazine!

I learn from members of the so-called diving community that people are saying bad things about my Tommy being a media whore.
I will have none of it.
Whore on, I say.
It would only compound the collective misery of the world if we didn't get the chance to see you regularly in your swimming trunks.
Here Tom is pictured thinking about diving or something, in London this week at a VERY IMPORTANT DIVING THING.
Good day, so-called "sports fans"!

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Sir Ian McKellen: Marriage For Moderns

Every day I care less and less about gay marriage.
Though clearly totemic it's essentially a bourgeois obsession - ever wondered why David Cameron says he supports it?
Though if you think he'll actually introduce it you're spectacularly well-deceived.
The only real reason to back it is cause it annoys the fruitcake out of right wing Christian nutjobs.
Anyway, here's Sireena McKellen's two cents in The Independent.
(I have a hunch it may have been buggered by a sub - hence putting "straights" in inverted commas and using the archaic term "homosexual" etc).
It was written in response to this exercise in mean-spirited inconsistency in the Daily Mail by Lord Carey, the former Archbishop of Canterbury.
Though why anyone gives credence to anything said by someone who says they believe in a god in this day and age is - quite simply - beyond belief.

PS Wonderful "Ban this filth - but only after I've had a wank over it" photocaption in the Mail's piece on Carey.

The Sun: Another Battle

FOOTBALL has come far since the early 1990s when racism was so entrenched it went almost unnoticed.
But David Cameron slightly overstates the case when he says he is proud Britain kicked it out of the game.
Gone are the days when black players like Brian Deane simply had to take the abuse. Britain is a more diverse and tolerant country now.
But racism DOES still exist in football, as some recent high-profile incidents show. They are the more newsworthy for their rarity — but they happen.
Where the PM is right is to urge a zero tolerance approach to racism on and off the field — to stop the game being dragged back into the Dark Ages and to prevent kids from growing up thinking it's acceptable.
But racism is only one battle.
Even in 2012 there are no openly gay players in the four top divisions.
No one has yet been brave enough to endure the inevitable abuse.
Racism may be in retreat.
But football still has a long way to go to achieve the level of tolerance to which we should aspire.

The Sun - today's leader.
The photo shows Fagburn's favourite footyball player, Robin Van Persie, with a semi.
Yummy though he is, I have no idea what team he plays for.

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Hunx: Private Room

Hunx sans his Punx.
Coming to the UK in May.

Censorship: Under Cover

'Sainsbury’s supermarket have been forced to defend placing a modesty cover over an issue of Attitude Magazine dedicated to tackling young people’s issue and homophobic bullying. The cover, which contains a fully clothed Daniel Radcliffe, was hidden from view on a high shelf in Sainsbury’s Dalston Junction, and spotted by freelance writer Scott Bryan.
'Sainsbury’s defended the decision to So So Gay. A spokesman told us, ”Following feedback from customers we introduced modesty covers several years ago across a wide variety of magazines. This is to ensure no offence is caused to customers who may object to the images or the content on the covers of some magazines. The titles that do have modesty covers do so for every edition so no particular cover is ever singled out.”

So So Gay.
Don't say Fagburn didn't try to warn you.
Who cares who objects to a man with his shirt off, or a woman looking a bit "saucy"?
There is a concerted campaign to stop shops selling "adult" magazines with a bit of flesh.
The world has moved on, stop giving into pious prudery and trying to drag it back.
The human body is not offensive or obscene.
Anyone who thinks so is an even bigger mentalist than me.
Does Sainsburys want a list of things they sell that I find offensive?
It'd go on for days, but would probably start with every edition of The Daily Mail.
Will they cover that up?

'Mankind can keep alive thanks to its brilliance
In keeping its humanity repressed.
For once you must try not to shrink from facts;
Mankind survives... by bestial acts.'

Bertolt Brecht, The Threepenny Opera

Coalition For Marriage: Please Support This Noble Cause

Can I urge all regular viewers to sign this petition?
May I also urge that no-one signs the petition under a childish scatalogical pseudonym, eg The Pope Dines On Choirboys' Cocks, as I have just tried to do in a moment of madness.

Update: There is now a Coalition For Equal Marriage petition and rinky dink website.

Paddy Power: A National Joke

'Channel 4 has no plans to drop a controversial "transgendered ladies" ad by bookmaker Paddy Power despite almost 500 complaints to the advertising watchdog, which have prompted a rival broadcaster to drop the campaign...'

As ever trans people can only be someone else's joke.
Like gay men in the 70s on TV sketch shows; "Oh whoops, duckie! Where's my handbag?"
Oh ha ha ha!
Grow fucking up

The Advertising Standards Authority.

Monday, 20 February 2012

Jazz FM: Fuck Yeah!

'Jazz FM has apologised via its website and Twitter after around five minutes of programming was interrupted on Saturday evening.
'Station programme director Mike Vitti told there was “unauthorised activity and behaviour in the studio”.
'According to tweets, sexual noises from what appeared to be an adult film played around 7:15pm, in which time many listeners noticed and commented about it. Some were enjoying a family evening meal when the “disgusting” and “porno” noises were broadcast.
'The programme on-air at the time, Funcky Sensation with Mike Vitti, was pre-recorded so an apology has not yet been broadcast.
'A statement on says: “Unfortunately we had an unauthorised access to the live feed this evening which resulted in a highly regrettable incident. Please accept our profound and sincere apologies for any offence that may have been caused.”
'Mike Vitti told us: “There was unauthorised activity and behaviour in the studio which we take very seriously and we will be taking the appropriate disciplinary action against the individual concerned."

Via RadioToday.
It's quite progressive that this report doesn't specify it was gay porn.
I guess.
The statement about "unauthorised activity and behaviour in the studio" had me hoping there was some actual real buttfuckery going on live on air, but sadly no.
Listen to the hot man-on-man aural jazz jizz action here.
I hope Jazz FM realise what a great ad this has been, and rather than sack the chap, they give him a bonus.

Powerless Structures: Fig 101

'A bronze boy on a rocking horse will bound on to the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square on Thursday. Why have Elmgreen and Dragset made him so camp?'

The Guardian.
Camp - a codeword for gay.
This is unveiled on Thursday - very Two Little Boys, methinks.
My favourite song when I was a kid.
"We are Scandinavian, maybe we can't help it. Boys grow up still thinking they need to be a hero. Trafalgar Square is a symbol of that. It is so masculine. We are talking about a different kind of masculinity."
- Elmgreen & Dragset.
Fagburn now - officially - acknowledges this as a masterpiece.

The Simpsons: 500th Episode Spectacular

Thank you for being the most funny and wonderful and literate and smart and gay-loving and human-loving TV programme of all time.
My favourite line?
Homer "Hello, my name is Mr Burns, I believe you have a letter for me."
Postal worker dude "Okay Mr Burns, what's your first name?"
Homer "I don't know."
Maybe you had to be there...
Big kiss.

Sunday, 19 February 2012

Evie Sands: I Can't Let Go

Apropos of nothing, I often conclude this is my favourite record ever made ever.
Story of my so-called life, mate.
Men! Can't live with 'em, can't legally kill them and fuck their corpses.
Why is my life so hard?

Matthew Bourne: The History Of Ballet

"I’d taken it just so far in Swan Lake, but I thought: why are we beating around the bush? Can I take it a little bit further and actually show different kinds of relationships between men [in Dorian Gray], without it being uncomfortable for the audience? I wanted to show that male dancing can be lyrical and touching as well as macho. Everyone loves saying, ‘Oh, dancers are like athletes, they’re like footballers’ — as if that makes it okay. But they’re not all like that. But I don’t feel the need to keep pushing it now, so I’m happy to do Sleeping Beauty with a female lead...”

Cracking interview with the smashing Matthew Bourne by the cracking Lynn Barber - uncharacteristically gushing with nothing but praise - in The Sunday Times.
Though there's a recurring riff about gay men and youth - a constant obsession of straight people.

Asked whether ballet dancers pad out their packets, Matthew laughs and replies; "To be honest, I think a lot of the history of ballet has been about that. Seeing beautiful bodies is a big attraction that nobody ever talks about.”

Michael Gove: Pure Manhood

"The world tells people who have same-sex attractions that they have two options: either hide in the closet in fear or come out, embrace your identity, and sleep with whoever you want. Acknowledging your attractions but living a pure life isn't even proposed as a realistic choice, because the world assumes that sex equals love, and no one should have to live without love.
"A guy who has these attractions may not want them, or even know where they're coming from. Perhaps they stem from an unhealthy relationship with his father, an inability to relate to other guys, or even sexual abuse. Whatever the case may be, purity will help him understand the origin of his feelings.
"Every guy needs male approval as part of becoming a man. But in this need for masculine love, some guys may question their identity and try to find it in sex. But that will not satisfy their calling to make a total gift of themselves. The homosexual act is disordered, much like contraceptive sex between heterosexuals. Both acts are directed against God's natural purpose for sex -- babies and bonding.
"Even if a person does not believe in God, he cannot argue with nature. For example, the life expectancy of homosexual men is half that of heterosexual men. Furthermore, imagine what would happen if all people with same-sex attractions were placed in their own country. It would be empty in a century, because bodies of the same gender are not made to receive each other. Even if a man has same-sex attractions, his body is heterosexual. He was designed to give life..."

Pure Manhood: How To Become The Man God Wants You To Be by Jason Evert.
A booklet given out in some faith schools - which Michael Gove is fine and dandy with.

"The education provisions of the Equality Act 2010 which prohibit discrimination against individuals based on their protected characteristics (including their sexual orientation) do not extend to the content of the curriculum. Any materials used in sex and relationship education lessons, therefore, will not be subject to the discrimination provisions of the act."

So now you know.

Mail On Sunday: Britain's First Male Mum Doesn't Speak

The Mail have managed to spin a front page story - headed on the web as 'Britain's First Male Mum Speaks' - out of the fact that the man didn't want to talk to them.

Adrian Mitchell: Tell Me Lies About Iran

Come all ye -
wartbrain psychics
with astroid sidekicks
prostate agents
and plastic Cajuns

royal doggerellas
cluster bombsellers
alternative surgeons
torturesport virgins

heavy vivisectionists
columnists, Golumnists,
priests of the beast
who are secretly policed
by highranker bankers
playing pranks with tankers

ghost advisers
death advertisers
vampire preachers
sucked-dry teachers
beheaded dead bodies
of blank-hearted squaddies

billionaire beauticians
fishing for positions
from poison politicians
with obliteration missions –
I'm alone, I'm afraid
And I need your aid
can't you see – can't you see – can't you see?

I was run over by the truth one day
Ever since the accident I've walked this way
So stick my legs in plaster
Tell me lies about Vietnam

Heard the alarm clock screaming with pain
Couldn't find myself, so I went back to sleep again
So fill my ears with silver
Stick my legs in plaster
Tell me lies about Vietnam

Every time I shut my eyes, all I see is flames
I made a marble phone-book, and I carved all the names
So coat my eyes with butter
Fill my ears with silver
Stick my legs in plaster
Tell me lies about Vietnam

I smell something burning, hope it's just my brains
They're only dropping peppermints and daisy-chains
So stuff my nose with garlic
Coat my eyes with butter
Fill my ears with silver
Stick my legs in plaster
Tell me lies about Vietnam

Where were you at the time of the crime?
Down by the Cenotaph, drinking slime
So chain my tongue with whisky
Stuff my nose with garlic
Coat my eyes with butter
Fill my ears with silver
Stick my legs in plaster
Tell me lies about Vietnam

You put your bombers in, you put your conscience out
You take the human being, and you twist it all about
So scrub my skin with women
So chain my tongue with whisky
Stuff my nose with garlic
Coat my eyes with butter
Fill my ears with silver
Stick my legs in plaster
Tell me lies about –
BAE Systems

Tell me lies Mr Bush
Tell me lies Mr Blairbrowncameron

Tell me lies about Vietnam.

Saturday, 18 February 2012

Paul O'Grady: Savage

‘I felt I was part of the PR machine. There was so much interference. They’d want this guest or that guest. Every question had to go through the lawyers. I was just another plug for someone’s book or film.
‘And I can tell you I saw some dross and read some rubbish, but I was too polite to say, “This is shameful. How you’ve got the nerve to publish this is beyond me.” So I’d say, “Oh, I really enjoyed your book,” but I was thinking, “I can’t do this any more.”
‘Guests would be on the couch coked off their minds. They’d start conversations, forget what they were saying, go onto something else.
'When I was doing my daytime show (The Paul O’Grady Show) I’d feel like self-mutilating under the desk thinking, “They’re going to swear. It’s 5pm. There are kids watching.”
'As soon as the ad break came I’d fly off and say, “They’re off their face on coke. I can’t handle this. It’s live telly.”’
‘I’d be sitting there and, if they were in a soap, they’d be talking about the long hours they worked or their Jimmy Choos. I wasn’t interested in b***** shoes.
'It would flash across my mind, “You’re sitting here talking about shoes and there’s a man dying in my bed.”’

Paul O'Grady in the Daily Mail.
I miss the good old days when all the TV chat show hosts were gayers.
The man dying was Brendan Murphy, Paul's lover of 25 years, and his manager.
Although you weren't allowed to say it at the time.

Friday, 17 February 2012

Hugo Chavez: Communist Eats Gay Babies - Report

Chavez's Homophobic Rant Against Challenger

The Independent
Odd headline.
Hugo Chavez has made no comment on Don Capriles' sexuality, never mind "a rant".
In fact nobody has made a "rant", as far as I'm aware.
Your source? "Mario Silva, who presents The Razorblade, a state-run TV show known for its assaults on Chavez critics, said Mr Capriles had been arrested in 2000 for having sex with another man in a car. Mr Capriles denies the accusation."
Mario Silva and Hugo Chavez are not the same person, dear - hence the different names.
And calling VTV "state-run" is as absurd as saying the BBC is "state-run" and claiming Jeremy Clarkson is the official spokesperson for David Cameron.
And how homophobic can you be if you try to introduce gay marriage, as Chavez did?
Still, all's fair when talking crap about one of our Officially Declared Enemies.
We must tell more lies.
Bombs away.
Hegemony - yay!

Fagburn: Intermission

Still got computer problems, I can post about one (boring, sour, bitter etc) blogpost a day.
Bear with me...

PS This is how I feel.

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

MIchael Swift: The Gay Manifesto

This essay is an outré, madness, a tragic, cruel fantasy, an eruption of inner rage, on how the oppressed desperately dream of being the oppressor.

We shall sodomize your sons, emblems of your feeble masculinity, of your shallow dreams and vulgar lies. We shall seduce them in your schools, in your dormitories, in your gymnasiums, in your locker rooms, in your sports arenas, in your seminaries, in your youth groups, in your movie theater bathrooms, in your army bunkhouses, in your truck stops, in your all male clubs, in your houses of Congress, wherever men are with men together. Your sons shall become our minions and do our bidding. They will be recast in our image. They will come to crave and adore us.

Women, you cry for freedom. You say you are no longer satisfied with men; they make you unhappy. We, connoisseurs of the masculine face, the masculine physique, shall take your men from you then. We will amuse them; we will instruct them; we will embrace them when they weep. Women, you say you wish to live with each other instead of with men. Then go and be with each other. We shall give your men pleasures they have never known because we are foremost men too, and only one man knows how to truly please another man; only one man can understand the depth and feeling, the mind and body of another man.

All laws banning homosexual activity will be revoked. Instead, legislation shall be passed which engenders love between men.

All homosexuals must stand together as brothers; we must be united artistically, philosophically, socially, politically and financially. We will triumph only when we present a common face to the vicious heterosexual enemy.

If you dare to cry faggot, fairy, queer, at us, we will stab you in your cowardly hearts and defile your dead, puny bodies.

We shall write poems of the love between men; we shall stage plays in which man openly caresses man; we shall make films about the love between heroic men which will replace the cheap, superficial, sentimental, insipid, juvenile, heterosexual infatuations presently dominating your cinema screens. We shall sculpt statues of beautiful young men, of bold athletes which will be placed in your parks, your squares, your plazas. The museums of the world will be filled only with paintings of graceful, naked lads.Our writers and artists will make love between men fashionable and de rigueur, and we will succeed because we are adept at setting styles. We will eliminate heterosexual liaisons through usage of the devices of wit and ridicule, devices which we are skilled in employing.

We will unmask the powerful homosexuals who masquerade as heterosexuals. You will be shocked and frightened when you find that your presidents and their sons, your industrialists, your senators, your mayors, your generals, your athletes, your film stars, your television personalities, your civic leaders, your priests are not the safe, familiar, bourgeois, heterosexual figures you assumed them to be. We are everywhere; we have infiltrated your ranks. Be careful when you speak of homosexuals because we are always among you; we may be sitting across the desk from you; we may be sleeping in the same bed with you.

There will be no compromises. We are not middle-class weaklings. Highly intelligent, we are the natural aristocrats of the human race, and steely-minded aristocrats never settle for less. Those who oppose us will be exiled.

We shall raise vast private armies, as Mishima did, to defeat you. We shall conquer the world because warriors inspired by and banded together by homosexual love and honor are invincible as were the ancient Greek soldiers.

The family unit-spawning ground of lies, betrayals, mediocrity, hypocrisy and violence--will be abolished. The family unit, which only dampens imagination and curbs free will, must be eliminated. Perfect boys will be conceived and grown in the genetic laboratory. They will be bonded together in communal setting, under the control and instruction of homosexual savants.

All churches who condemn us will be closed. Our only gods are handsome young men. We adhere to a cult of beauty, moral and esthetic. All that is ugly and vulgar and banal will be annihilated. Since we are alienated from middle-class heterosexual conventions, we are free to live our lives according to the dictates of the pure imagination. For us too much is not enough.

The exquisite society to emerge will be governed by an elite comprised of gay poets. One of the major requirements for a position of power in the new society of homoeroticism will be indulgence in the Greek passion. Any man contaminated with heterosexual lust will be automatically barred from a position of influence. All males who insist on remaining stupidly heterosexual will be tried in homosexual courts of justice and will become invisible men.

We shall rewrite history, history filled and debased with your heterosexual lies and distortions. We shall portray the homosexuality of the great leaders and thinkers who have shaped the world. We will demonstrate that homosexuality and intelligence and imagination are inextricably linked, and that homosexuality is a requirement for true nobility, true beauty in a man.

We shall be victorious because we are fueled with the ferocious bitterness of the oppressed who have been forced to play seemingly bit parts in your dumb, heterosexual shows throughout the ages. We too are capable of firing guns and manning the barricades of the ultimate revolution.

Tremble, hetero swine, when we appear before you without our masks.

First published in Gay Community News, February 15th 1987.
It's also known as Gay Revolutionary, The Gay Agenda, The Homosexual Manifesto, and all possible permutations of these.

This is often quoted by the Religious Right in the US - minus the first line - but if you can't see this is a beautiful and brilliantly Swiftian satire, you're beyond stupid.

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Joe Orton: More Fucking

'Much more fucking and they'll be screaming hysterics in next to no time.'

Joe Orton quoted by John Lahr in The Guardian.

"It's a testament to Lahr's research that very little new information has come to light since Prick Up Your Ears was published in 1978: his remains the definitive account of Orton's life and death."

No missing pages from the diary, then?
Lahr's homophobic subtext is exposed in this, Alex.

They wore each others' pants!!!

Walt Whitman: Us Boys Together Clinging

We two boys together clinging,
One the other never leaving,
Up and down the roads going—North and South excursions making,
Power enjoying—elbows stretching—fingers clutching,
Arm’d and fearless—eating, drinking, sleeping, loving,         5
No law less than ourselves owning—sailing, soldiering, thieving, threatening,
Misers, menials, priests alarming—air breathing, water drinking, on the turf or the sea-beach dancing, 
Cities wrenching, ease scorning, statutes mocking, feebleness chasing,
Fulfilling our foray.

Transphobia: Shock Shock Horror Horror!

'My first reaction upon hearing that a British trans man had given birth was a sigh and a somewhat world-weary "so?". But then I had forgotten – silly me! – the fascination, bordering on obsession, that large swaths of the non-trans world have for the most trivial of stuff concerning members of the trans community. So how could this not be of interest?
'Is it in the public interest, though – the debate, that is? And is it quite the apocalyptic "shock! horror!" event being painted by the tabloids? Just don't let awkward things like facts get in the way of a good story. Because, of course, trans men are and have been mums since for ever, through the sneaky device of having children before their transition – or by retaining eggs that can be used for IVF after transition. Besides, ask around the trans community and the clear consensus is that this is so far not the first instance of a UK post-transition man giving birth...'

Jane Fae writing on The Guardian Online.
The Daily Mail's story.
And Jane on The Sun trying to out him.
As I keep moaning for the tabloids trans is the new gay; only ever a joke or a scandal, and news in itself.
When will the British press grow up?

Monday, 13 February 2012

Sayeeda Warsi: An Idiot Speaks

"I will be arguing for Europe to become more confident and more comfortable in its Christianity. The point is this: the societies we live in, the cultures we have created, the values we hold and the things we fight for all stem from centuries of discussion, dissent and belief in Christianity.
"These values shine through our politics, our public life, our culture, our economics, our language and our architecture. And, as I will say today, you cannot and should not extract these Christian foundations from the evolution of our nations any more than you can or should erase the spires from our landscapes.
"My fear today is that a militant secularisation is taking hold of our societies. We see it in any number of things: when signs of religion cannot be displayed or worn in government buildings; when states won’t fund faith schools; and where religion is sidelined, marginalised and downgraded in the public sphere..."

Baroness Warsi of Bigot-by-barking there.
Her homophobeness is addressing the serial child-rapists at the Vatican today - to make this idiotic point again.
Religion is dead - trying to resurrect its stinking corpse to justify your gay-bashing is sick, sick, sick.

Nobody Turns Up To Pointless Stupid Protest: Whitney Blamed

About four people turned up for "a mass kiss-in" in Trafalgar Square yesterday protesting anti-gay laws in Commonwealth countries.
Was it cause it was an ill-thought out pointless exercise in self-aggrandising wankery?
Hell no!

'Dr Patrick Williams, chairman of Pride London, said while several people had turned out, it was not as many as hoped, which was to be expected after the sudden death of Whitney Houston, who he called "one of the world's greatest gay icons".
'He said: "I wouldn't say it's disappointing - the weather being what it is, and the sudden demise of one of the world's biggest gay icons, Whitney Houston.
"A lot of us have grown up with her music so that was a bit of a shock. As soon as I heard, I realised we were going to have problems with people coming.'

The Times.

She wasn't a "gay icon", you hopeless fuckwit.
And even if she was, it didn't stop the Stonewall Riots, did it?