Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Fillum: The Top 10 Gay Movie Cliches

1. Artistic shots of trees
Nothing conveys the gay psyche like a bleak sky glimpsed through a dizzying rush of distant poplars – the type gay boys stare at longingly from the homophobic inferno of the school bus. It's fairly cheap and easy to capture, too: best shot from a moving Peugeot 207, with the camera balanced on the sill of a half-opened side window.

2. The ironing mother
She is angsty, sombre, frayed, yet just a tiny bit fabulous. Think of a fat Joan Rivers cast in a John Osborne play. She's probably 30th in line to being the next Sheila hancock. She needs to be watching a massively crap chat show or a feckless daytime TV quiz. She should shout at the TV as if it can hear her and she will definitely shout at her gay son when he comes in from school.
At first, her dialogue revolves around schoolwork, nagging her son to wear a bike helmet and complaining about his (erotically shot, of course) piles of dirty socks. Later, she will ask if he's gay, then feign shock at the answer. But let's face it, she's already spotted the cock ring and poppers in his bottom drawer. And then there's that Eurovision wallchart...

The intro to a smashing, insightful and very funny thing on the Guardian online by Jack Cullen, The Top 10 Gay Movie Cliches. 
It gets better.
The article that is.
Not your life.
That will always be shit.
You're gay, get over it.
Or maybe, you know, make a broody short film about it?

PS That photo has bum-all to do with the article - apart from ironing and general gratuitous pervability (which Jack kinda touches on) - I just wanted an excuse to print it.
My blog, my rules, dudes.

PPS Who the hellzapoppin' irons their underpants?


  1. The article is crap. None of those are cliches in gay films.
    In what way is it "insightful", please?

  2. He does cite and link to examples - and they seemed all too familiar.
    Christ, you're even more crabby than me.


    1. He provides examples for about half of his "cliches" and in most of those it's the only example in any gay film of that occurring.
      The only ones that have a ring of truth to them are the generic clubbing scene and the gratuitous showering scene.
      So, basically, he's written an article saying "Golly, aren't there a lot of gay films with a scene in a gay club and one of a hot dude in a shower!?".

      Yeah, why could that be, I wonder!?
      Thanks all the same, Jack. Very insightful. :)

      Still, nice Harry Styles pic...


  3. It's not Harry Styles. It's Jack Cullen ironing his knickerknacks. :0

  4. I take it BK wasn't one of the 300 new followers I picked up on Twitter yesterday.

    1. Good news. But don't let it go to your head. Ego defeats good journalism. See here passim...