Friday, 24 May 2013

Fagburn: In Place Of News

A press release has been sent out today, Fagburn can reveal.
The press release exclusively revealed to Fagburn that it had been sent.
It was about something no-one really cares about, like someone putting up a stupid fucking rainbow flag.
According to a survey carried out by 78% of people find press releases fascinating and "an important source of information".
Today has thus been designated Slow Gay News Day, in honour of gay icon, Harvey Milk, who was openly gay, the press release revealed.
A publicity-seeking homophobe in America who you've never heard of before has condemned the move, blaming it for something.
Maybe tornadoes.
(Read our exclusive expo, 'Silly homophobes who have said something silly and homophobic').
He has been SLAMMED as a "homophobe" by a Fagburn reader, who has started a pointless petition on
Fagburn organised a gay flashmob at the Elephant & Castle shopping centre, but only three people turned up.
The video has now not gone VIRAL!
To pad out this news story here's something about press releases we cut-and-pasted from Wikipedia; "A press release, news release, media release, press statement or video release is a written or recorded communication directed at members of the news media for the purpose of announcing something ostensibly newsworthy. Typically, they are mailed, faxed, or e-mailed to assignment editors at newspapers, magazines, radio stations, television stations, or television networks."
"Not boring"
In another press release we have been sent, his fourth today, the publicity-shy Peter Tatchell denied he was boring and vain.
"I am not boring and vain," he said. "READ".
Our editor said; "We look forward to entering a new business partnership with, and, in the hope they'll book some ads, have put their founder, Larry O'Toole, in our prestigious Gay Power Bottoms List 2013."

1 comment:

  1. seeing there's no news, watch this, it's hysterical: