Sunday, 26 May 2013

Footyball News: Silly Arse!

A Blackburn Rovers footballer has been summonsed to answer a charge of making a homophobic gesture to Brighton fans at a Championship match.
Sussex Police said Colin Kazim-Richards, 26, was charged under the Public Order Act over an alleged homophobic gesture on 12 February.
The alleged incident took place at Brighton and Hove Albion's Amex Stadium.
The player is due to appear before magistrates in Brighton on 22 August.

BBC News

Fagburn was fascinated by this story*, as it was covered by most news media, but none said what the "homophobic gesture" actually was.
Was it really too disgusting to be mentioned in a family newspaper?
But the thing is, there's only a few "homophobic gestures" I'm aware of.
That oldie but goodie, the limp wrist?
The classic mime, "I am pretending to fellate a gigantic penis?"
Pulling "a gay face" and going "Oooh!" in a high-pitched voice?
Or that old favourite when you pretend to be clutching a handbag close to your no doubtless manly chest?
The mind boggles!
So we asked Fagburn's resident soccerball commentator, "C" [He doesn't want to be named here in case this all goes a bit Sally Bercow].
"A Brighton forum says he 'kept on pointing to his arse', among making 'wanker gestures', after they mocked him for being fat," he told us, exclusively.
"That's the best part, him doing an ARE YOU SAYING I'M FAT??! Of course Brighton fans also pioneered the "you're too ugly to be gay" chant."
So, to clarify, he's been charged with pointing at his bum?
"Indeed. He's a nobody these days anyway. Fat waste of space."

*Kain used to play for Brighton - which may have increased the banter. Fagburn, of course, has also recently been subject to the long-arm of Sussex Police's somewhat heavy-handed approach to so-called "public order offences".

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