Friday, 14 June 2013

Fagburn: An Open Letter To Queen Elizabeth II

Dear your majesty highness, 

So - once again - I note that you have to chosen to snub Tom Daley in your so-called "Birthday Honour's List".
And Britain's greatest living young sportsman - and an inspiration to millions - is left bereft of a gong.
Fagburn can only assume this is due to some sort of clerical error, or maybe you're just getting a bit forgetful in your old age.
I fail to see why you can't just start a special category just for our Tom - OBG.
Order of the Bloomin' Gorgeous.
And, yes, I have seen his "bronze medal"!
Anyway, if this happens again - and I offer this merely as a word of warning about the possible dire consequences of your in/actions - don't be surprised if this nation's troubled youth become increasingly disaffected with your whole royal family pantomime schtick, and start asking to see your stupid posh head, not on a £5 note, but on a guillotine.
Got that, Betty Battenburg, you evil shape-shifting lizard lady?

I remain - for now, at least - your most humble and obedient servant


PS Even Adele got one FFS! What for services to the British cake industry?


  1. When Photoshop goes bad...

  2. Look, even the methane that comes out of his lovely bum is proudly British!
    Damn you, "The Queen"!!!