Tuesday, 27 October 2015

James Bond: 'The Name's Moron, Piers Moron...'

If James Bond’s gay, then the whole tone of the franchise has to go gay too.

His lovers would be gay men, Bond Girls would become Bond Boys.

‘What’s the problem with that?’ I hear the PC brigade howl (they always howl, FYI.)

Well, nothing. Except I wouldn’t want to watch that, and nor I suspect would the vast majority of Bond movie fans.

So the film would tank, and the franchise would die.

This is not homophobia – I think I proved my anti-homophobia chops on air at CNN and regularly on social media - it’s simple commercial reality.

Bond’s 50-year brand has been built on a clear, definable platform of him being a ruthless, womanising assassin.

And it’s been one of the most enduring, successful brands in the history of cinema.

 For an example of what can go wrong if you dupe an audience, take the case of George Michael.

He had a brilliant pop career, right up to the moment where he came out as gay.

Then his record sales fell off a cliff. *

It wasn’t his sexuality that was the problem. It was the fact that he’d misled millions of adoring female fans for years into thinking he was a straight guy who wanted to bed them.

George’s brand was the great romantic seducer of, and crooner to, women – and when his closet sprang gloriously open, many of those women ran for the hills of Justin Timberlake.

So no, James Bond can’t be gay. It just wouldn’t work.

(I doubt even the gay community really wants Bond to be gay – right now, he surely remains the ultimate unobtainable challenge?) ...

Daily Mail.

Piers Morgan weighs in on one of the most pressing issues of the day.

Ironically sounding like one of James Bond's biggest fans, Alan Partridge.

Once more... James Bond is a fictional character.

* Possibly Freudian choice of words here.

PS Here's an interview with Mark O'Connell author of the acclaimed Catching Bullets: Memoirs Of A [Gay] Bond Fan. 

1 comment:

  1. There's an hour long thing on BBC4 tonight of two gayers discussing Bond. Mark Gatiss and Matthew Sweet. At least, I assume Sweet is a gay. I apologise profusely if I am in error on this point.