Sunday, 31 July 2016

Gay Marriage: Isle Of Mad

Oh, do piss off.

Internet: Now Not Fucked

Sorry, there was some internet malfunction which - hilariously - meant you could only see a photo of Rylan Clark.

A fuck to get rid of - really wound me up - now taking some time off, listening to Ella Fitzgerald, and drinking cheap Spanish wine.

As a manic depresssive,  I couldn't be happier.


Internet: Fucked

Back later.

Saturday, 30 July 2016

Tom Daley: Diving For Gold

Amazing/pleasing ITV think this documentary is peak time Saturday evening viewing.

Fagburn: Is At The Beach

See ya!

Pink News: No News

If there is no gay news of interest, take a break, have a sandwich, maybe come back tomorrow, this is just pointless drivel.

Rylan Clark: ISIS

Presented without comment.

London Pride: Proud To Support Mass Killing By Ariel Bombing

The RAF Red Arrows Display Team flies over London's Pride Parade...

The Daily Telegraph's photo of the month!

Yay! We're morons! Let's wave a rainbow flag! 

Tom Daley: Me And My Penis

There is a documentary about Tom Daley's penis on ITV tonight.

Friday, 29 July 2016

Vice: Gay Icon!

Any journalist who uses the moronic term 'gay icon' should have their fingers broken, lest they ever go near a keyboard again.

PS Please note Vice has illustrated this article with several black men - one of whom isn't actually gay - cos they is so down with them, bro.*

*Actually all written be whiteys.

Attitude: What Is Point?

One might have hoped after the departure of Matthew 'First they came for the cliches, chemsexers is mental suicidal evils and Russia is very bad and we is all victims cos gay brrzt...' Todd, it might have wised up.

But no.

Is there anyone who writes for this magazine that didn't go to a posh school?

Still, Nick Jonas! Yay!

Tom Daley: Bizarre

Couldn't even by arsed to click on this.

Tom Daley's like a great shag you once had, but you had to stop seeing cos they're as thick as rice pudding.

PS I think striking a pose like the Christ The Redeemer statue before the Rio Olympics is a bit much, dear.

Chelsea Manning: Charged?

AmeriKKKa, I fucking hate you.

Harvey Milk: Shit Ship

Yeah, great, let's kill some Arabs for Harvey!

CBB: Biggins!

Great to see my close show biz pal and fellow pantomine dame - we played The Ugly Sisters at Norwich Pier Theatre in 1997 - on my favourite tellybox show, Celebrity Big Brother.

PS I don't actually own a tellybox, this is why.

Thursday, 28 July 2016

Fagburn: On Becoming Syd

I am not him.
He is not me.

Education: Sex

In school, our drugs education consisted of a parade of corpses. Sex education in early 2000s Glasgow was approached in a similarly morbid fashion. Our principal instruction came from a dragon lady, jaundiced — perhaps by experience — into the conviction that sex was men’s way of ruining women’s lives, of taking their pleasure and leaving her alone to tend a screaming cot. Sex positive, her lessons were not.

Apartheid principles applied. The separate development of men and women required knowledge of the vagaries and contours of your own anatomy only. Cloistered away from the womenfolk, our painfully self-conscious biology teacher was obliged to fumble a rebellious prophylactic around a boiling tube for the assembled boys. Observing her uncertain technique, one piped up: “You clearly haven’t got a lot of experience at that, miss.” The room choked with laughter. The poor teaching trainee, living out her nightmare, turned beetroot...

There is a stock character in literature who embodies the old fatalism. The cold solitaire, a gay stoic who lives his life untouched, unconfessed, unexpressed. Spinsterish, resigned to a lonesome fate, to unhappiness, but perversely dignified by his self-awareness and self-discipline, by self-denial and self-disgust. It is time to let this ghastly archetype rot; to let his hauntings end. If schools can help exorcise these old frustrated ghosts, so much the better.

Our world is saturated in more than enough grief. The map already tracks too many roads not taken.

The Times, part of their Time For Inclusionary Education Campaign, by Adam Tickell (Stop sniggering at the back!)

My sex education - a full half-hour - consisted of a joyless Christian showing us an artiste's impression of a man and ladies' private parts, then she got out a dry condom, and waved it about with some disgust, yet with no obvious point.

Mary Whitehouse could have done better.

Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Pink News: Not

This is another fairy story lifted from the idiotic fart fantasy factory New York Post.

Why are gay journalists such gaytards?


Fagburn: Cold

My story is much too sad to be told
But practically everything leaves me totally cold
The only exception I know is the case
When I'm out on a quiet spree
Fighting vainly the old ennui
And I suddenly turn and see
Your fabulous face...

Monday, 25 July 2016

Marni Nixon: 1930-2016

Stephen Port: Free The Barking One!

A man accused of murdering four men in east London has also been charged with poisoning, rape and sexual assault.

Stephen Port was charged with four counts of murder last year but the new allegations relate to eight living complainants.

The 41-year-old from Barking denied the charges during a pre trial hearing at the Old Bailey.

He allegedly met the four murder victims on the internet between June 2014 and September 2015.

It is alleged he then invited them to his flat on Cooke Street where he is said to have poisoned them with the psychoactive drug GHB.

Mr Port faces 29 charges in total and is set to stand trial on 4 October.

He was originally charged with four counts of murder and four of administering a poison, but at the Old Bailey on Monday prosecutors added six more counts of administering a poison, seven charges of rape and four of sexual assault.

Mr Port now also faces four alternative charges of manslaughter.

These are alleged to have occurred between 2011 and 2015. 

BBC News.

Quite clearly a stitch-up.

PS Even though the media has now pronounced him the 'Grindr killer' (alleged), it seems he met his victims on ye olde Gaydar.

Tanzania: Plus What?

In which a silly posh intern at Independent Voices - Charlotte, if you will! - uses the meaningless term 'LGBT+' in a story about gay men buttfucking.

Well done!

Sunday, 24 July 2016

Bro Job: No Job

It's not a thing, just your fantasy.

Straight men put their dicks in sheep, chickens, watermelons and apple pies first.

This says nothing about their sexual orientation.

Unless you think 'sheeposexual' is now a thing.

Gok Wan: Go Wank

Probably the most fawning and fatuous thing you'll read this year.

When did you first realise you were a guru to womankind?

Saturday, 23 July 2016

The Gays: Why?

Like The Guardian, The Independent now has a rubbish closeting go-to stock photo of choice for articles about The Gays.

The article is something of a touch stone in gay victimhood, incidentally.

The Guardian: Weak End

Posted without comment.

Guardian: Your Readers Should Not Have Sex


Friday, 22 July 2016

Gay Star News: Wank

Gay Star News is now re-printing drivel from the morons' friend, New York Post.

Expect more scoops from the National Enquirer and Sunday Sport soon.

'Donald Trump is a gay alien living in a secret love nest on Mars with Elvis' etc.

Guardian: Snore


Well there you billy-well go!

PS And another bombshell in The Independent! 

Well woopeydoo!

Brighton: Schoolboys In Skirts

Sweltering teenage boys beat their school’s strict uniform policy by wearing skirts.

The 14-year-old pupils were punished for wearing shorts in a bid to keep cool on the hottest day of the year.

In protest the lads decided to borrow from the girls’ official uniform.

Michael Parker, Kodi Ailing, George Boyland and Jesse Stringer were allowed to wear the pleated skirts as they are within the school’s rules.

The students at Longhill High School, in Brighton, East Sussex, donned the skirts in protest of the school’s decision to punish boys who wore school-issued PE shorts rather than trousers on Tuesday.

Michael Parker, 14, said: “It’s not fair for boys to be roasting in black trousers on the hottest day of the year while the girls can wear skirts.”

His mother Angela, added: “We’re fully in support of the boys."


I love this town.

Zachary Quinto: Snore

All hail, the world's most boring gay man (who's not called Patrick Strudwick or Peter Tatchell).

You came out?

Well, woopydoo!

Margate: Good Luck With That

The Times.

First Dates: Rugger Bugger

The Sun.
Kill me now.

Thursday, 21 July 2016

Oscar Wilde: Reading Is Good

The doors of Reading Prison are to be opened to the public for the first time as cells are transformed into an art exhibition celebrating the life of Oscar Wilde.

Wilde, the author of The Ballad of Reading Gaol, was locked up in solitary at the prison from 1895 to 1897 for gross indecency, after details of his relationships with men came to light.

Cells will now be opened to the public to commemorate Wilde’s time in prison, as actors, writers and artists including Jeanette Winterson, Ai Weiwei, Ralph Fiennes, Maxine Peake, Steve McQueen and Ben Whishaw lend their talents...




Fagburn: Nothing

Today there is no news, so here's a picture of Justin Bieber with a tiger cub.

'We have to file a story in one hour!'

'Make something up about Pokemon Go again?'

'Genius. Pub?'


Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Billy Name: 1940-2016

Once told me we should stop calling ourselves 'gay', and call ourselves something more masc like 'Hercules'.

He was proper mental.

But he was Andy Warhol's boyfriend, and you weren't.

So nerr!

Owen Smith: Normal


Craig Murray on The Entirely Fake Owen Smith. 

Fagburn is proud to be a member of the now suspended Brighton & Hove Labour Party (Cos Trot anarchists or something).

Sunday, 17 July 2016

Alan Vega: 1938-2016

To Suicide - the original - and best - pervy synth duo!

Alan was 78, but still, that's my day ruined.

Can everyone stop dying, please?

Liam Fox: Bubbly

Mail Online.
Published without comment.

Rylan Clark: Bestseller

Currently this nation's best-selling hardback book, ladies and gents.

Some say this country's completely fucked, but I, for one, beg to differ.