Wednesday, 1 April 2015

Sam Smith: April Fool

April Fools always fill Fagburn with such hysterical mirth, he fears he may not able to post again today.

Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Adrian Hyyyrlainen-Trett: Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

A Liberal Democrat has become Britain’s first HIV-positive parliamentary candidate after telling how he "deliberately" contracted the virus after years of homophobic bullying.

Adrian Hyyrylainen-Trett, 36, suffered physical and psychological bullying at school for being gay.

In an interview with Buzzfeed's LGBT editor Patrick Strudwick, the Lib Dem candidate for Vauxhall in south London explained why he chose to speak out.

Hyyrylainen-Trett said he believed he "owed it" to the community to discuss the issues he went through and help others who were experiencing the same problems.

"With psychological bullying all you have is the words whirling around your head – comments thrown at you in the sports room, in the gym, walking home from school."

Hyyrylainen-Trett said bullying led him to into a spiral of drugs, depression and suicidal thoughts, before he decided that HIV might be "one way" to take his own life.

"I didn’t really want HIV," he said. "I wanted annihilation of me." ...

Well, this is certainly a very odd story, isn't it?

Fagburn shall return to it later.

Update: Fagburn has given this a great deal of thought, and has concluded that, seeing as Adrian is a politician we should believe every single word he says. Thanks for your patience.

Andreas Lubitz: Did Gay Porn Make Him Do It?

A police source in Dusseldorf said last night: “We have a team disassembling his computer, and that of his girlfriend.

“The information that we received was that he trawled the dark side of the web visiting, among other things, sites containing suicide themes and sexual perversions.”

A police source in Dusseldorf revealed: "We have a team disassembling his computer, and that of his girlfriend, because the information that we received was that he trawled the dark side of the web visiting, among other things, sites containing gay porn, suicide themes and sexual perversions."

Although this is all a bit vague and tenuous, I must confess that whenever I crack one off over some first-rate gay porn, I am overcome by the urge to fly a plane into a French Alp, killing many.

Case closed!

Gay Rugby Ref: So What?

'So what?', indeed.

I look forward to not reading this article later...

Monday, 30 March 2015

USA Today: Going Back To Indiana

INDIANAPOLIS—Addressing the controversy surrounding his state’s recently signed Religious Freedom Restoration Act, Indiana governor Mike Pence forcefully insisted to reporters Monday that the new law has nothing at all to do with what it was explicitly intended to do. “Let me state directly that in no way is this law designed to allow the kind of anti-gay discrimination that is the law’s single reason for existing,” said Pence, emphasizing that provisions authorizing businesses to refuse service to gay customers were nothing more than the only explanation for the law being drafted in the first place. “Regardless of the widespread misconceptions surrounding it, I want to reassure Hoosiers of all backgrounds that this law will never be interpreted in the way it was unambiguously designed to be from the very beginning.” Pence further clarified that the act’s sole purpose was in fact to safeguard the free exercise of religion it was in no way whatsoever created to protect.

The Onion.


Little bit of politics there...

Freddie Mercury: The Movie?

Mail Online March 28th.
Freddie Mercury will not live again through the magic of Sacha Baron Cohen's acting.

On Thursday, long-time Queen manager Jim Beach seemed to confirm that the Borat star would play the lead role in a biopic about the singer's life.

But a later clarification from Queen's guitarist explained that Jim's comments at London's Artist & Management Awards were just a joke.

'You have probably followed the saga of the famous Queen-Freddie Mercury biopic which has been developing in Hollywood for the last seven years,' the manager told the audience as he collected the Peter Grant award for managing excellence.

'An important breakthrough is that we have now managed to persuade Sacha Baron Cohen to write, produce and direct this movie, and he has also agreed to star.'

While the news was quickly disseminated by news outlets, Jim's comments were not meant to be taken seriously.

In his blog, guitarist Brian May mentioned Jim's 'small joke' from the event.

'He said that, in response to enquiries about the progress on the Freddie feature film, that Sacha Baron Cohen had been re-engaged to write, produce, and direct the film, as well as starring in all four major roles!

'I'm afraid some folks might have taken it seriously!'

Mail Online March 30th 2015 - though they were far from alone.

PS The Hidden Meaning Behind Queen's Bicycle Race - Cracked.

Andreas Lubitz: The Blind, Gay, Cheating, Mentally Ill, Fitness Fanatic I Knew

Andreas Lubitz smiles from the front of the Daily Mirror, where the story is that the co-pilot of Germanwings Flight 9525 impregnated his lover, Kathrin Goldbach. Jeremy Armstrong says fatherhood “may have led him to crash” the plane and murder 149 people.

We learn that Goldbach planned to leave the “control freak”.

Armstrong adds:

       “Friends believe Kathrin’s imminent split from Lubitz and fears he could lose his job due to depression and sight problems may have tipped him over the edge…”

When you see words like ‘believe’ and ‘may’ in the same sentence, you realise that the report is light on facts.

Having heard from two unnamed sources that Lubitz was controlling, the Mirror notes Lubitz had “apparently been refusing to take his antidepressants”, was a “fitness fantatic”, had only “about 30% vision becasue of serious sight problems” and behaved like “Jekyll And Hyde” when with an air stewardness with whom he was cheating, shouting at and locking in a bathroom.

Over in the Daily Star, Lubitz is the subject of “gay rumours”.

Now Lubitz is dead we can all clearly see what he was really like. If only people close to him had been so knowing when he was alive and piloting a commercial airliner.

Whatever next?

Justin Bieber: Roasted

Kevin Hart:

"Justin has fans in middle school or staying 500 feet away from one."


"You act so much like a pussy, Ellen [DeGeneres] tried to eat you."

Martha Stewart:

"Sixty million Twitter followers? The only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower."

Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy:

"Justin Bieber is a full-grown man who works and loves and makes things with his hands. He sings to 9-year-olds and his hair is like a gay figure skater."

Snoop Dogg:

"Justin, you're so pretty, when inmates see your mug shot, they swipe right."

Jeff Ross:

"Selena Gomez wanted to be here but she's dating men now. Is it true you dumped her because she grew a mustache before you? Selena Gomez had sex with [you]... proving Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs Americans just won't do."

Justin Bieber:

"What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours."

The best of Billboard's 21 Best Jokes From Justin Bieber's Comedy Central Roast.

Update: Attention Justin fans! Cop a load of this! 

Nicholas Hytner: Denationalised

At the end of his last public platform on Friday, the house rose in unanimous ovation, like a pot coming to the boil. At the centre of the great Olivier Theatre revolving stage, the slight figure hesitated for a moment, framed by the night sky and towering ship’s timbers of the Treasure Island set. He smiled his thanks and made his exit, stage right, against the starlight. After 12 remarkable years, Nick Hytner, the artistic director of the National Theatre, was saying goodbye.

Later, at the party for colleagues and friends in the vast scenery dock, the staff had laboured to dangle significant props and set up frames with cutouts of the director’s elfin features for innumerable jokey “selfies”. Actor Alex Jennings celebrated their 35-year working relationship and Frances de la Tour improbably cried: “He is my husband!” ...

At Friday’s party the man himself spoke last, from a heart that seemed very close to the surface. He talked of how the job had educated him, freed his spirit and offered the rare power to take artistic risks and “just say – Do It!” to innovators restlessly looking for new ways to create and stage truth, tales and entertainments.

He told how, at the NT’s 50th birthday gala, he longed to dash backstage and sit awhile in the green room with actors: a dizzying assembly of legends and fresh stars who spanned the half century. But he lost his pass, borrowed one that didn’t work, and vainly bashed the security door with such frustration that he broke the glass. “I am,” he said, “just a fan like anyone else… and I was locked out." ...

Enoch Powell's Satanic Sex Ring: 'Although There Is No Evidence...'

The Church of England has told Scotland Yard that William Whitelaw, the former home secretary, and Enoch Powell were accused of being members of a political satanic abuse ring.

The allegations of the politicians’ involvement in child abuse emerged during counselling by a vicar of a youth in the 1980s. Leo Abse, a long-serving Labour MP, was also named.

Although there was no evidence to support the claims, the church authorities felt compelled to send the information to Scotland Yard’s investigation into alleged establishment involvement in child abuse.

Dominic Walker, who retired as Bishop of Monmouth in 2013, said he heard the allegations during the counselling sessions while serving as a vicar in Brighton.

Last year he passed on the information to the Bishop of Durham, the Right Rev Paul Butler, who is responsible for “safeguarding” in the Church of England. The bishop ordered that church authorities send the information to Scotland Yard. It is understood that there was no corroborating material from the church.

A Church of England spokesman said last night: “When allegations are made against individuals, it is quite proper to pass those allegations to the police and statutory authorities, without any investigation on our part and regardless of our own views.”

A Scotland Yard spokesman said: “We do not identify individuals that are subject of investigation.”

The most ridiculous one yet?

Sunday, 29 March 2015

Gay Marriage Poll: Rilly? You Surprise Me!

Sunday People.

There's a big - and strangely generous - profile of Nigel Farage in The Observer.

Can't really comment cause I could only be arsed to skim-read it...

And finally... a nutty professor writes for the Mail On Sunday.

Thought For The Day: John Waters

“Trash and camp just don’t cut it any more. Filth still has a punch to it. The right kind of people understand it and it frightens away the timid.”

Speaking at the Tennessee Williams Literary Festival, New Orleans, quoted in The Observer.

Think he says a variation on this in every interview these days, tbh.

Saturday, 28 March 2015

Gay Marriage: Jailbird Lovebirds

Let's have a look and see all the happy greetings from Mail Online readers, eh?

Historic Gross Indecency: Pardon Me

This article in Guardian Weekend is pretty powerful and moving stuff; five men tell how their lives were ruined after being arrested over old anti-gay laws against sex such as 'gross indecency'.
Over 600,000 people have now signed an online petition; Pardon all of the estimated 49,000 men who, like Alan Turing, were convicted of consenting same-sex relations under the British "gross indecency" law (only repealed in 2003), and also all the other men convicted under other UK anti-gay laws.
But many people sympathetic to Turing - including Andrew Hodges who wrote the biography on which The Imitation Game was based - had misgivings over the call for his royal pardon.
Further, as the author points out in the introduction; 'In 2012, it became possible for those convicted of homosexual “sex offences” to have their criminal records erased under the Protection Of Freedoms Act – though not those deemed to have been committed in a public place such as toilets, where much of the entrapment went on.'
One of the men interviewed who was discharged from the army has successfully applied to have his criminal record erased and army record cleared.
Two were arrested for cottaging, so at present can not even have their criminal records erased.
One was caught at a cruising ground with a 15 year-old - this is still a crime. Ditto.
Fagburn can understand why anyone, and not just past victims of state homophobia like these six men, are angry about what's happened, and want some kind of apology.
But can anyone explain what this call for an official pardon can achieve?



Maybe he was - they say there's a lot of it about these days - but let me know if you can spot any actual evidence in this piece.

And in a second story today, the Star says it was cause he had eye problems and depression.

Joined-up journalism!

Update: There's a very thorough article about Lubitz in the Sunday Telegraph.

On qualifying, Lubitz did not land a job as a pilot immediately and worked as a cabin steward until a vacancy arose. It earned him the nickname “Tomato Andi”, possibly because one of his roles was to hand out tomato juice. It has also been suggested “Tomato” is a derogatory term, meaning someone who isn’t sure if he was a “fruit” or not. There is no evidence, so far at least, that Lubitz was gay and kept his homosexuality hidden, but it’s inevitably an area for the police to explore.

Whatever the truth, for Lubitz, a young man wanting to fly transatlantic jets, to find himself working as a “trolley dolly” would have been all too demeaning...

There have been so many competing claims and speculations in both the broadsheets and tabloids over the weekend, I think it's safe to conclude no-one really has a clue what really happened.

Update2: And by Monday it was...

Friday, 27 March 2015

USA Today: 19

Indiana has come under fire for a bill signed Thursday by Gov. Mike Pence (R) that would allow businesses to refuse service for religious reasons. The NCAA has voiced its concern ahead of Final Four in Indianapolis next week, there are calls to boycott the state, and Miley Cyrus has even weighed in, calling Pence a name that we can't reprint on this family Web site in an Instagram post.

But Indiana is actually soon to be just one of 20 states with a version of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, or RFRA, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures. Here are those states, in dark teal [Above].

Forty percent of U.S. states have something similar to Indiana, as does the federal government.

A federal RFRA signed by President Clinton in 1993 shares language with Indiana and other states' bills, prohibiting the government from "substantially burdening" individuals' exercise of religion unless it is for a "compelling government interest" and is doing so in the least restrictive means...

Washington Post.

Just sayin'!

Grindr: My Poor Boy!

PS This wife and 'mom' wasn't quite so amused by what she found on Grindr.

Get Hard: Go Home

After much boo hoo squish squish *sadface* the Guardian piece concludes with these non-hysterical words...

However Dr Andrew Moor, who specialises in the relationship between Hollywood and homosexuality, was unconvinced Get Hard offered any lasting damage. “Sure, it peddles lazy clich├ęs about homosexuality and has tired old stereotypes, and yes that can be offensive,” he said. “LGBT culture has campaigned against toxic representation for so so long now, and it’s still important....I’m not sure a piece of throwaway pop like this is worthy of any big campaign though.”

PS See also Why is Hollywood suffering another gay panic attack?

It's not really, it's just some lame jokes about dicks and bumming in prison (he says not having seen it). 

David Cameron: Because Empire Must Be Defended By Pretending To Care About Human Rights


'Blah blah blah vote for me! Let's bomb some foreigners and starve the poor!' etc etc...

Telegraph: Th Arrival Of Same-sex Marriage On Year Ago... [sic]

I was seventeen in 1987; if I recall correctly, that was my year of chairing the local Young Conservatives. Thatcher’s conference line, and Section 28 that followed it, devastated my psychological development. I resigned from the YCs, but couldn’t, of course, spell out why. First love arrived a year later, at 18, but I fled from, and hurt, that first man who had found me in the university library, and thought me worthwhile. I couldn’t square my desire for that man with the sermon the Prime Minister and her – my – party were teaching the country...

Must be a scream at the Telegraph offices these days - even if you've sacked all your subs - say hiya to Paul and Tim!

PS Oh, hang on...

Said the gay Tory who was an MP in the Thatcher years...

The Independent: Questions To Which The Answer Is 'Nobody Cares'

The Independent.
30 pubs - straight or nelly - close every week.

Tim Cook: Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?

Apple CEO Tim Cook has revealed he will follow in the footsteps of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett in giving away his personal wealth before he dies.

Cook gave an interview to Fortune magazine and confirmed that - once he had provided for his 10-year-old nephew's education - he would donate his earnings to charity.

He also spoke about other social issues, particularly the importance of stopping HIV/Aids and supporting human rights and equality.

Cook, who publicly came out as gay towards the end of last year, did not specify which charities he would donate to.

He described his sexuality as a "yawner", and said he wouldn't have come out at all if he hadn't decided it would help others around the world.

“To be honest, if I would not have come to the conclusion that it would likely help other people, I would have never done it,” he said. “There’s no joy in me putting my life in view.”

Cook is believed to hold $120m worth of Apple shares and then a further $665m of restricted stock.

Hi Tim!

I've got about £4 to live on this week, so if you could put some cash my way that would be great, bro.

your biggest fan


PS Sorry about writing about the sweatshop stuff, tax evasion and Apple's obscene mark-up on all its products.

PPS I am willing to put out - photos available on request.

Martyn Goff: 1923-2015

'Colourful character...'

Thursday, 26 March 2015

Will Young: Dan Wooton Gets The Horn

His first new track, Love Revolution, is a nostalgic affair sampling TOMCRAFT’s 2003 club banger Loneliness.

Other songs on the record include Joy and Thank You, where Will rants about a relationship breakdown.

He said: “Sometimes you’ve just got to say, ‘F*** off, you dumped me, you don’t like this, you gave me a parking ticket’.

“Screw all this zen buddhist stuff.”

There’s also a song called U Think I’m Sexy.

Well guys, take a look. Do you?

A breathless Dan Wooton in The Sun.

Well guys?

Noam Chomsky: The Fight Against Stupidity Award

Awarded by Philosophy Now.

Thanks to my spark, my English teacher Peter Carpenter, who gave me his copies of Roland Barthes' Mythologies, and Terry Eagleton's Marxism And Literary Criticism.

'There you go....'

I've never looked back, sir.

PS Mr Carpenter once told young Mr Smith off for writing the words to This Charming Man on his blackboard during lunch hour. 'I don't write Carpenters' lyrics on there'.

Comedy gold!

Tweet Of The Day: Peter Tatchell

You're so vain etc etc...

Be interesting to learn where this 'outsider' gets his money from.

MI6 and gay tories?

PS For top Tweeter comedy follow @defendingpetert - tellingly written by a mad Islamophobe who karnt spel. I wonder how Pete feels about this endorsement?

Update: See page 55 of the new Attitude to find out which LBT person Nigel Farage mosts admires!

Wednesday, 25 March 2015

The Sun: Something For The Ladies!

IT’S Cleavage Week in The Sun so here's something pecs-tra special for the ladies.
We've picked out ten outstanding specimens of chiseled man-chest for you to identify...

The Sun.

Eagle-eyed viewers may have noticed this was not written by a 'lady'.

Phwoar! etc etc...

Zayn: Quits!

But who will now be the token non-white guy on Attitude's annual World's Sexiest Dude list?

PS Mirror Online are currently running 20-30 stories a day about this national tragedy.

Looking: HBO cancels gay series on account of it being boring.


But ver gay media said it was great!!!

PS And the Guardian.

JK Rowling: Unamazing


No we don't, we walk and talk funny.