Thursday, 24 July 2014

Commonwealth Games: Hoots Mon Etc!

Tasteful and totally appropriate caption from Huffington Post, there. 
PANTO star John Barrowman left a global telly audience of over a billion [Yeah, right] gobsmacked — when he snogged a fella at last night’s Commonwealth Games opening ceremony.

The gay kiss was part of a barmy sequence that saw Susan Boyle fluff her song words, a dancer in undies grab his crotch and performers frolick inside giant Tunnock’s teacakes...

The Sun.

The Gretna Green kiss was quite cute, and I like seeing the ceremony as a low budget campy piss-take of the London Olympics extravaganza, though that may only be in my head.

Not sure how this kiss would be a 'stunning rebuke' to anti-gay politicians and religious leaders who say homosexuality and the tolerance of it are a Western malaise we're trying to export, but there you go.

Expect the usual suspects to get a bit over-excited about this - 'A brief gay kiss, take that Third Worlders!' - like the walls of Jericho will now fall.

Funny how the gayers who are the most easily offended are also the most easily pleased.

Even the Mail approve - go figure.

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Dora Bryan: 1923-2014

Character actor - from a Taste Of Honey to Victoria Wood As Seen On TV (and Fagburn's neighbour, too).

Vauxhall: Fucked?

And so the shrinking of Vauxhall’s scene picks up a pace. Orange, who own Fire and Area (noting Covert/ No. 65 has already had its license withdrawn) have announced Area’s to close. They say Network Rail and Lambeth Council aren’t letting the club their license as they want to turn the Albert Embankment into a “vibrant high street”. The politics of this news is complex but we do wonder if it’s because Orange has found it has too many venues to fill.

Whatever the reason, there’s no doubt things are changing in Vauxhall and not rosy for the scene. We’ve already lost Hidden, the Coloseum and the old Renaissance Rooms days are numbered. Four groups are involved: the local community, the emergency services, Lambeth Council, commercial interests and Orange Group.

The local communities long ago grew tired of what the scene brings. Cars parking outside your house, 24/7 noise including screaming, shouting, ambulances, police and the rest.

The Metropolitan Police and London Ambulance are the involved emergency services and have to deal with it all – though St Thomas’ down the road have also had enough. Scene casualties and the associated crime have raised alarm bells. It’s hard work and horrible to those in the caring professions. Examples? A man died being restrained outside Covert recently, ambulances position themselves from 6am to run a shuttle service to St Thomas’, a man died trolleyed falling under a train last year, muggings and homophobic assaults are up.

Enter commercial interest. The property boom and gentrification. Enormously powerful developers are building a huge amount of luxury skyscrapers in Vauxhall for the foreign market – China, Russia and other developing nations who don’t want to see or go out to gay venues. Developers need to pitch a cool and vibrant area and are giving millions to the local council when they need most. Money talks and the neighbourhoods on the up so no wonder Network Rail recognise there’s more cash from regular less troublesome tenants. M&S, Waitrose and others have already checked out every Albert Embankment venue – the sauna included...

Interesting article on DiscoDamaged.

Vauxhall's like another country to me now, but DD are usually reliable on such things.

Commonwealth Games: The Excitement Mounts!

Best of luck to all taking part, especially the plucky contestants from our colonies.

The Opening Ceremony looks first-rate.

John Barrowman hosts - let's hope he remembers to talk in his Scottish accent today.

The Krankies, Lulu and Andy Stewart headline [All STC].

Oh look! Saint Peter wants 42 of the 53 member states taking part to be banned from the games. 

But why stop there, Pete?

Why not ban 'em all?

Or boycott all countries without a 100% perfect human rights record?

Anyway, here's the important bit - the diving schedule! (That doesn't start til next Wednesday. BOO!).

PS The Advocate have spotted a new diving talent... Jack Laughter!

Tuesday, 22 July 2014

Evan Davis: Oh, Mr Davis!

Daily Mail.

This wouldn't have happened with that nice Eddie Mair.

PS You could at least spel her name right...

Wednesday's Mail Online - Will this be a regular feature?

Prince George: Happy Birthday!

Fagburn extends his sincerest greetings to Prince George of Cambridge - our shape-changing lizard future gay King.

Media Studies: #TeamTulisa



Monday, 21 July 2014

Turing: Trailer

'Based on a true story' where he appears to be in love with a dame.

PS Pet Shop Boys' Alan Turing Proms piece, A Man From The Future, is broadcast by BBC Radio 3 on Wednesday.

Tom Daley: In Emergency Russian Landing!



Here's our Tom pictured in happier times...

Good luck in Glasgow, Tom.

PS The Daily Star asks will Tom retire after the Commonwealth Games? Answer: Of course not, this is in the Star.

Pridefest: Oh Just Kill Me Now Pls!

It's the opportunity frustrated parade organisers have been waiting for: games publisher Atari has announced Pridefest, a "social sim" which invites players to create their own pride event in a city of their choosing.

In development for smartphones and tablets, the game involves designing parade flotillas with "eye-catching attractions and entertainment" in order to increase the vibrancy and happiness of the town.

Players need to beat challenges and solve puzzles to unlock new decorations and other festival supplies; there will also be social features allowing participants to share their personalised parades with friends...

Guardian Technology.

People get paid for coming up with crap like this FFS!

Wonder if it features those much-loved Pride staples, where it turns out someone's been fiddling the accounts, and then there's some massive acrimonious split among the organisers?

Update: More gayer computer games PRide tomfoolery.

Evan Davis: So Tough

Well done Evan.

PS Fagburn, friend of the stars!

Strike A Brighton Pose: Now Open

A personal snapshot of LGBTQ clubbing in Brighton & Hove at Jubilee Library!

We welcome you to Munchkinland, 
Tra la la la la la la
From now on you'll be history.
You'll be history, you'll be history, you'll be history.
And we will glorify your name.
You will be a bust, be a bust, be a bust
In the Hall of Fame!


Sunday, 20 July 2014

From Miss Babs: To Tom

Bloody Marys at Brighton Rocks. Realise we can't afford to drink at Brighton Rocks again. Beach. Charity shops. Pizza Express. Home. Watch a documentary about the Baader-Meinhof gang. Spark out. Wake up. Early. All night diner. Home. Tom cleans up while I sing along to Tom Waits. A slightly odd moment when we listen to Barbara Cartland's Album of Love Songs. Pony-trekking. Queens' Park. Beach. Free Palestine rally. Vietnamese 'street food'. Station kiss. Fin. xxx

Politics: The Last Word

Saturday, 19 July 2014

Fagburn: Pause

Fagburn will be taking a break this weekend, cause I'm going gallivanting about town with my new beau.


Friday, 18 July 2014

Brighton: Fireworks

Max Lang.

It's like thunder... lightning... the way you love me is frightening.

Gaza: Fireworks

Good night?

If you cut off their water that's a clear war crime.

That and the bombing.

Update: But what better time to take a Beaches, Boys and Beyond gaycation to Tel Aviv?

Gaza: Hey! Hope You Haven't Forgotten About Us

A missile that wrongly hits a target that can serve Western power interests is worth a thousand direct hits in the service of empire.


MH17: 298

The International AIDS Society (IAS) today expresses its sincere sadness at receiving news that a number of colleagues and friends en route to attend the 20th International AIDS Conference taking place in Melbourne, Australia, were on board the Malaysian Airlines MH17 flight that has crashed over Ukraine earlier today.

At this incredibly sad and sensitive time, the IAS stands with our international family and sends condolences to the loved ones of those who have been lost to this tragedy.

The IAS is hearing unconfirmed reports that some of our friends and colleagues were on board the flight and if that is the case this is a truly sad day.

The IAS has also heard reports that among the passengers was a former IAS president, Joep Lange, and if that is the case then the HIV/AIDS movement has truly lost a giant...

Let us not rush to judge, please. It's not what these men and women would have wanted.

I know blaming Putin for everything is a national sport, but still...

[Some initial reports said 100 delegates died, this has now been downscaled to six. Gosh, it's almost like everything we've heard about this is nonsense].

Update: And the award for the most tenuous and wrong-headed attempt to try and wring a gay angle out of this human tragedy goes to... The Advocate!

Bobby Fischer: The Sexiest Dead Man In The World - Exclusive Interview!

Hi Bobby! You've just been voted the sexiest dead man in the Fagburn Hot 100!

'Aww, great.'

Can we not see your face?

'No. I am contemplating the complete misery of human existence.'

We're looking for a cover shoot.

'$120million or we're not talking.'


'Done that. There's film of me butt naked in the shower, if you guys are into that, fine.'

So Bobby, do you love your gay fans?

'That question defies logic.'

Okay... And if a young chess player saw you as a role model, what would you say?

'Get a fucking real job. This is all kinds of shit you don't need.'

Sexy chess man, Bobby Fischer thank you!

'In future, just leave me alone. Okay?'

Sex: The Annual Fagburn Sexiest Dead Men In The World Hot 100 Poll!

1. Bobby Fischer. American chess-playing mastermind.

His face was so pretty he had to cover it up during international tournaments.
Went a bit bonkers at the end.
But then don't we all?
Thanks for the wanks, Bobby!

2. Elvis. A popular American singer.

3. Tito. A popular Yugoslav communist.

4. Kenneth Williams. A popular English whinger.

5. A token black dude [Subs, can you fill this in?].

For the full list of The Annual Fagburn Sexiest Dead Men In The World Hot 100 Poll you'll have to buy the new print edition of Fagburn magazine.

Random: Question For The Day

Have you lost all capacity for rational thought?

Endless stupid fucking conspiracy fuckwits ranting on about how they know how that plane came down. Twitter at its worst. There is no fucking evidence yet, ergo you literally can't fucking have a clue about anything, you stupid fuck. Never mind anyone who might actually know anything about such things. 'Was it Putin? Cause he Hitler!' Oh fucking hell. Here we fucking go again. Maybe the plane just fell out the sky. I mean, who knows really? Maybe it was being flown by mice on a suicide mission to avenge the Cheese Wars?
Why not phone up David Icke? 
Anyway, clearly the idiots - once more - have won.
Well done WORLD!

Thursday, 17 July 2014

Simon Cowell: Hands Up Who Gives A Fuck?


Elaine Stritch: 1925-2014

And now you're not.

“I don't think I'm gonna die tomorrow or even two weeks from now, or even ever. I just don't know - who the hell knows what's gonna happen to them? Nobody! Isn't that comforting? Nobody has a clue. I like that we don't know. And I like that it's somebody else's decision, not mine."

Gaza: There Are No Words

Bent Cousin: Phew, What A Scorcher!

Well, it's such a lovely day, let's go and hit the beach with Pat and Amelia.

And doesn't Pat look so handsome?

It's the song of the summer!

Wanking: Found A Cure

Guardian online look forward to the reopening of the Wellcome Collection in November, with some highlights from their forthcumming exhibition about sex.

Above we see a young Victorian gentleman mentally and bodily exhausted from onanism (or self-pollution), and some anti-masturbation devices. They're a life-saver!

BNP Youth: No Blacks, No Irish, No Gay Dogs!

Via Political Scrapbook.

Political Scrapbook inform us that young master Jack is one the BNP's leading young members - and had a starring role in this classic and in-no-way creepy (or camp) recruitment video.

Look out, here comes the master race!

Manchester Pride: Proud To Be Policed

We dun painted police car rainbow coz we is your friends.

List Of The Day: Commonwealth People

David Cameron was under increasing pressure today to speak out against homophobia ahead of the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow.

Of the 53 countries in the Commonwealth, 42 criminalise homosexuality and campaigners are demanding that the British Government uses the Games to tackle the issue...

The Independent - who end the article with the following handy and informative list...

Erm, only Nigeria and Uganda are in the Commonwealth, dear.

Still, thanks for the pic of Saint Peter.

PS I won't bore you again with my usual spiel asking which countries actually enforce their laws.

Wednesday, 16 July 2014



Fingers crossed those two cover quotes aren't the most interesting things our Tom said. [Edit: Oh, and she wants to be the new Ant & Dec, and wants to do Zac Efron and David Gandy].

Tom has been voted the world's sexiest man in Attitude's Hot 100 poll.

Wayne Rooney came second.

Thought For The Day: Alexei Sayle

'Israel is the Jimmy Savile of nation states.

'It clearly doesn't care about damaging the lives of children..

'[Israel] is endlessly indulged by its doting parents, the West, and has become a psychopath as a result.

'It thinks that everybody else is in the wrong and it is in the right.'

Alexei Sayle.

Current bodycount: Palestinians 200 - Israelis 1.

Noam Chomsky video, The Gaza Crisis, December 2008 (but sadly you hardly need to change a word).

Fagburn: This Is How I Feel Today

What could possibly go wrong?

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Politics: That Cabinet Reshuffle Not In Full

Greg Barker OUT: Leaves his position as Minister for Lightbulbs and will be leaving parliament at the next election, but please don't read anything into that. May be spending time with his ex-wife who he left cause he's a big gayer.

Nick Boles IN: Dashing and openly gay - and a former flatmate of Michael Gove - today he was suddenly given the in-no-way made-up brief of 'overseeing equal marriage implementation'. As the Equalities Minister is opposed to equal marriage. Oops.

Ken Clarke OUT: It's goodbye to the fun-loving Minister for Jazz, who had to go so he can't resign over Europe later. 'Pub?' he said on leaving Downing Street.

Stephen Crabb IN: Minister for Wales? Minister for Woof more like! Who cares if this hot bearded bear believes in anti-gay conversion therapy?

Alan Duncan OUT: The Tories' first out gay MP. The lovable diddyman leaves his position as Minister of State for International Development to go and make some more millions from dodgy oil deals during the current tumult in the Middle East.

Liam Fox OUT: Declined an offer to return as Defence Secretary as Mr Cameron said he couldn't keep going on trips with his BFF and former flatmate, Adam Werritty.

Michael Gove OUT: Adored by teachers throughout Albion, Mr Gove has left the Ministry for Education. Number 10 insists he has not been demoted, and said making tea for cabinet meetings was jolly important.

William Hague OUT: In one of today's biggest shocks, the Minister for War Crimes Foreign Secretary quit so he could spend more time with his family and young friend, Chris Myers.

Lord Haw-Haw OUT: The 112 year-old far right Minister for Anglo-German Friendship gets the boot - a sure sign Mr Cameron wants to modernise his party's image.

Nicky Morgan IN: An obvious choice for Minister for Women and Equalities due to her valiant opposition to equal marriage. And as she was privately educated, she was a shoo-in for Education Minister.

Sir Cyril Smith IN: Nick Clegg lobbied hard for the return to frontline politics of the king-sized Liberal legend. Smith will be Under Secretary for Pederasty and Death Threats.

Jennifer Token-Nice-Young-Lady IN: Position yet to be confirmed.

Steve Bell in Wednesday's Guardian.

Gilbert & George: Love Always And All Ways

From an amusing live readers' Q&A on Guardian online.

A major new exhibition SCAPEGOATING PICTURES for London opens at White Cube on Friday.

Monday, 14 July 2014

Fagburn: At Oxford

Fagburn enjoyed a very nice weekend in Oxford.

Land of my forceps.

Ah, those dreaming spires, oh the heady intellectual debate.

As you can see, Oxford welcomed him as one of their own.

FS Magazine: Why Do You Have Body Image Issues?

I really can't imagine why so many gay men have body image issues, FS.
Do tell.

Scandal: Thatcher Accused In Paedo Probe!

Margaret Thatcher personally covered up child abuse ­allegations made against one of her senior ministers, according to explosive new claims.

The Sunday People reports Tory Prime Minister is said to have held a high-powered meeting with the rising star, who was being tipped for promotion, and told him: “You have to clean up your sexual act.”

It followed an allegation that the minister had sexually abused young boys at the home of one of his political allies in 1982.

However the minister apparently ignored the warnings.

It is claimed that four years later he was spotted by police seeking young boys for sex at Victoria railway station in London.

But no action was taken...

Sunday People.

Senior Tory cabinet ministers were supplied with underage boys for sex parties, it is sensationally claimed.

Former Conservative activist Anthony Gilberthorpe said he told Margaret Thatcher 25 years ago about what he had witnessed and gave her names of those involved.

His allegations that he saw top Tories having sex with boys comes after David Cameron launched a Government inquiry into claims of a cover-up.

Anthony, 52, said: “I am prepared to speak to the inquiry. I believe I am a key witness.”

Trawling seedy streets during a Tory conference, Gilberthorpe says he was asked to find underage rent boys for a private sex party at a top hotel...

Sunday Mirror. 

Dolly old Rhoda Boyson
Typical, you take some time off and it all kicks off!
Although it would be amusing if several leading Tories turned out to have turned Brighton and Blackpool hotel rooms into little Salos of sodomy, these two stories may not be quite as EXPLOSIVE! as they seem at first glance.
Westminster is rife with political rivals' smears, and Thatcher simply may not not have believed what she heard about the Tories' young rising star being at the party.
[The late Sir Peter Morrison MP had been caught cottaging with underage boys twice and let off with cautions, but police only confirmed this after his death].

The second story in the Sunday People has more holes than a pair of Primark knickers.
The main four of the accused - Keith Joseph, Rhodes Boyson, Dr Alistair Smith and Michael Havers - are as often happens in tabloids, all conveniently dead.
The other man, a current serving cabinet number, as also oftens in tabloid land, not named.
The following detail is too hilarious for words...

"We then walked into an area where there was a large pool and lots of men either stood around naked or simply wrapped in towels.

“Among the MPs I recognised in there were Keith Joseph and Rhodes Boyson. I saw the Attorney General Michael Havers down there as well.
Penolope Keith Joseph.
“There were a couple of glass tables set up as a mini bar with bottles of spirits on them and there was cocaine on several tables. I saw several boys who were clearly aged between 15 and 16 down there and I saw that a few were performing sex acts on MPs.

“Other young men were acting as waiters walking around with little black bow ties on. I was completely shocked by it because I was still only 20 and I had never seen anything like it.”

Keith Joseph and Rhodes Boyson at a poolside coke and cock party? Sure.

Oh, and shouldn't Mr Gilthorpe be charged with soliciting and procurement?

PS And the most likely currently serving minister is...