Sunday, 12 February 2012

Gareth Williams Murder: Case Closed!

The Sunday Times has bigged up 'The Murder Story MI6 Doesn't Want You To Read'
Screaming on the front cover; 'Who Killed Gareth Williams?'
You remember Gareth Williams? The spy guy found zipped up in a hold-all.
"The man who knew too much" who has been endlessly written about by newspapers that know fuck all.
So who killed Gareth Williams?
One might have expected this question to be answered - is it buggery?
Titled - bafflingly - 'Death On The Doorstep' (he was found in the bath) we are told; "The bizarre death of MI6 agent Gareth Williams has been shrouded in silence. On the eve of an inquest, details of a possible cover-up have emerged."
Erm, no they haven't.
The article by Miles Goslett is an exercise is speculative space-filling lunacy, a few thousand words of tedious twaddle, telling us nothing new, and almost hilarious in its inanity.
Were there "dark forces" after Gareth Williams?
Well, there was a break-in at a flat downstairs.

"Clearly, the flats at Alderney Street had come to the attention of somebody. The motive may have simply been random burglary, but it is at least conceivable that some foreign power with an interest in Williams’ professional life might be involved."

No, wait - there is more sinister skullduggery afoot!

"From the point of view of the intelligence services, failing to prevent an assassination of an operative in the very shadow of the MI6 headquarters at Vauxhall would appear hopelessly inept — especially if a previous break-in had flagged up the building as a possible target."

Seeking the truth, our intrepid journalist heads to Holyhead in Wales, where Gareth grew up.
So how does he try to get to the bottom of this?
He talks to an old man in a pub who met Williams a couple of times;

'Over a drink in his local pub, The Angel, the 63-year-old, who runs a building firm with his brother, said many in the area believe false trails have been laid because of the work Williams did.'
“I first knew Gareth in 1993, when he joined the club, aged about 14. He wasn’t an easy person to get to know. He was a fine cyclist, but he was at arm’s length socially from the club. I heard members of his family say he was very hard to fathom, very deep. But if you’d said to me when he was alive that he was gay, I wouldn’t have believed you. I don’t think he was that sort of person.
“When you think of the circumstances in which Gareth was found, this doesn’t seem to be a death which just occurred on the spur of the moment. It seems too well planned. No evidence of cause of death has been identified. It all looks too clean to be anything other than a professional job and I believe, like many people here, that there is a conspiracy of silence.”

Fuck - this is gold dust, Miles!
But what about "the gay theory"?

'One story claimed he was “known to meet men in the capital’s gay mecca of Vauxhall Cross”. It isn’t clear where this information came from.'

Or why he called it "Vauxhall Cross".
But then Gareth Williams had visited "a bar in East London, alone, to watch a drag act called Jimmy Woo".
Or maybe he went to Vauxhall to see Jonny Woo?
Or maybe the journalist doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about?
But nevermind all that, cause...

'The “gay theory” seems highly suspect.'

For why?
Because someone who works at BarCode didn't recognise Williams' photo.
Obviously not a gayer then - Case fucking closed!
This award-winningly awful piece ends with a line from one Professor Anthony Glees, the director of security and intelligence studies at the University of Buckingham, no less.
“The only thing that’s clear about the death of Gareth Williams is that he was murdered."
But even that's not clear.
I despair.


  1. Dreadful piece of wank.

    This Goslett chap could be the next big thing in crap journalism.

  2. Imagine how Williams' friends and family felt on seeing that splashed across the front page?
    And I bet he got paid a FORTUNE for writing it.

  3. Vauxhall Cross is the official address of the MI6 headquarters. Never knew it was a gay mecca. Must pop along sometime and check it out.

  4. Must be teh hotness!
    Can I come too?

  5. I know where Syd Barret lives.

  6. The police have made no progress on this case, and apparently neither has Miles Goslett.

    It has always seemed like a job for Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. Fortunately, they happened to be available.