Sunday, 12 January 2014

Thomas Hitzlsperger: Johnny Allman Writes

So Thomas Hitzlsperger has come out of the proverbial wardrobe.

Yes, he is a gay.

Big deal!

Or is it?!

It is 2013 2014!

So what if he likes doing it with blokes?

I for one am totally fine with his disgusting lifestyle choice.

I'd be fine playing football with a gay fella - and wouldn't even mind sharing a hot shower after the game with a handsome muscular young man like Mr Hitzlsperger.

Thom is very brave - braver than a Resistance fighter in Occupied France IMHO - hopefully he will inspire other gay footballers like Ashley Cole to come out [Subs: Can the lawyers check this?]

And well done to young Tom Daley - I always thought he looked a bit poofy, but the wife likes him.

The times they are a-changing room!

Maybe one day newspaper columnists won't have to write cliché-ridden old crap like this.

We must never forget Justin Fashanu - a top player who took his own life after being charged with raping a teenager years of anti-gay hatred.

Let's kick homeopathy out of football once and for all!

• Johnny Allman plays for Liverpool United. He writes in a personal capacity.


  1. So what's the point of this? Footballers are thick? Footballers are homophobic? Tabloids dress up homophobic comments as positive? Isn't satire meant to be sharp?

    Incidentally, Justin Fashanu was charged with sexually assaulting a 17 year old, but "raping a teenager" sounds so much more predatory doesn't it? Maybe that's why the phrase is such a tabloid cliché, but it's ironic that you use it in a blog purporting to be attacking tabloid clichés...

    1. Well done for seeing it is satire on tabloid cliches!

  2. Hi, I rarely delete comments, but you can fuck off.